nodaybut2day

Ok, *breathing deeply here*, I just wrote XAH an email to tell him that I'm switching DD to a new daycare. AIEEE! Normally, I would keep contact to a bare minimum, but my lawyer told me that I'm bound by law to at least inform him and give him all relevant information should he wish to go check out the new daycare for himself. She recommended I email him in the morning, when there's less chance that he's had a drink and to make certain that I get a confirmation that he's received the email, should he choose not to respond.

All things considered, his replies weren't that bad.
Reply #1:
Right, and the only day care you could find is near your parents house and French. You're full of crap!
Sent from my BlackBerry® powered by Virgin Mobile.

Reply #2:
The more you push me out of her life the more she's going to hate you. 12-14she gets to decide for herself.
Sent from my BlackBerry® powered by Virgin Mobile.

Overall, I'm somewhat relieved but still waiting for the piano to fall on my head. My lawyer tells me that if he opposes the change, we'll put it in the custody decree that DD needs to attend the daycare I've chosen because her current daycare a) will be hiring an illegal immigrant to work under the table and care for the children, b) involves 1.5 hrs a day of travel which is a lot for a 19 month old.

I've been dealing with a migraine for 4 days in anticipation of telling him this news; I wish the tension would fall away for a bit so I could relax (before the next big thing: serving him with divorce papers).

FindingPeace1

just good for you.

transformyself

Here's a prayer for you to be able to let go and not worry about what he thinks or does. He has no power over you! Let him go Sister. Do the math.

How many hours do you have in the day?
What are you going to devote your thinking time to?
Take it minute by minute of you must.

Great job, by the way. You're walking further and further away from him!~

Lotus2009

(((nodaybut2day))) - sending you a big cyber hug!!!

you are sticking up for you and your daughter - Great work!!!

Stay strong!

IamSaved

Awesome job! (((HUGS))) coming your way!

Cowgirl1265

Of course he's not going to like it; but I think his concerns have more to do with the fact that he senses he's lost the ability to control you with his anger than anything else. You are doing a wonderful job learning to ignore the quacking. I'm sorry about the headache and the tension involved, but I would like to point out how far you have come in a few months. Six months ago you wouldn't have been able to bring yourself to change your daughter's daycare for fear of triggering an angry response from him, and you would have been undone by his texts. Look at you go! Amazing!!!!

Pelican

(((Good Mom)))

GiveLove

Would a BIG SR hug be okay instead?

:ghug3

You're doing great, noday.
Not only are you being a good mom by choosing a better daycare, but you're being logical: You are the primary caregiver for your daughter. If you have to choose, shouldn't it be the one that's most convenient for YOU, not for mr. "I'll do it if I feel like it and if I remember" ?

Of course he's not going to like it. It's not what's best for HIM. That's why you're not with him any more, remember?

My personal favorite smiley today:
Use it in good health

nodaybut2day

Thank you all for those awesome cyber hugs.

Givelove...I adore that smiley too. Where XAH is concerned, it seems to be the modus operandi

Cowgirl...thanks for the reminder. Sometimes it's easy to forget how far I've come in the past six months since finding SR.

Gold

Well done!

He didn't object, he just quacked a bit.

You are doing so well making sensible decisions for you and your daughter.

What are you doing to let go of the migraine? Hugs to you

jennabe

A big big hug for you! I think you are doing great! Way to be strong.

wicked

Oh, isn't he the sweetest little mess you ever saw?


And an American salute to you from this soldier...just as good as a hug!


oh, alright, here ya go.
:ghug3

tjp613

Awesome job, Noday!! Just awesome!!!

PHIZ007

I think you are doing great too

That is/was a lot of a travel for a toddler......now give yourself a good pat on the back you have done the right thing for you and your little one. I do understand your stress though but you just keep putting one foot in front of the other.......

We are with you every step. Take Care and definately focus on how far you have come......it is very easy in difficult times/days/ moments etc to forget how far along the path we have actually come. Take care and keep us posted.......Phiz

Bernadette

big (((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))

remember he is just: quack quack quacking!!!

peace,
b

Jadmack25

Oh dear, how sad for him. He thought the universe revolved around him, and you just put the needs of your small child first, so he is shattered.

Can't wait for when he gets those divorce papers and sees another 2 hostages to his over inflated idea of himself, break free of his abusive and controlling behavior.

He has shown no control over his drinking, his priorities re family responsibilities or his bitter tongue, yet demands control over you and your lives.
What a silly, sick and miserable jerk he seems to be.

Let him quack via email, and keep it all for court, as he digs his own hole.

God bless

ChildrenB4AW

Congratulations!!!! You are not responsible for anyone's reaction, just for your own actions and reactions. I like to look at the typical response from the A as continued reinforcement as to why I need to sever the relationship. Trust me, it will prepare you for when the approach changes. It's a crafty disease. Once he realizes this approach no longer has you in his control, he may change to "sweet as pie, and look how I've embraced recovery". It's much more difficult to stay strong when they employ that approach.

You can do it - just put your child and yourself first, and let the A worry about himself.