starrynite

There was recently a new round of drama with the llama. Everything hit at once as it always does. Since we divorced I've worked really hard to limit all contact to focusing on the kids and staying out of the rest. But this time I found myself right back in the middle. So I've accepted the fact that I will never know the truth about this particular situation, that I need to trust my gut and the universe, and that I need to reflect on MY role in this issue, the mistakes I made and the things I learned.

What was different this time?

• Fear dominated my thinking. I let the words of a few people dictate my emotions.
• I jumped immediately to what if thinking and forgot to focus on the facts.
• I let the past define the present.
• I jumped to conclusions.

The positives that came out of this event:

• I took care of some business. There was one issue (hopefully the last) that I was still using codie thinking for - that "if I give him this chance he'll finally get it and make things right" thinking. Now it's done.
• I learned that while my friends try to protect me, they forget that I am a mother first. While this was a prime example of Exah learning some tough lessons and letting some people down, it was also something that had the potential to negatively affect my children. And I will do whatever it takes to make sure they are safe - even if it means doing the leg work to ask questions and check stories.
• I was reminded that the universe is right there with messages of support and people who will help me stop long enough to breathe, set the emotions to the side, and look for the big picture.
• I was also reminded that my kids have their own HP who will guide and protect them.

And I was thankful for all the years of codie detective work. While it didn't always serve my best purpose in the past, those skills sure do come in handy sometimes!

Thanks for reading.

cinderellawkids

Wow, very profound that you can think that through. Im pretty sure those are the same points where I make my mistakes.

Sending hugs and keep up the progress

Ann

This is where live meetings helped me, surrounding myself with support kept my program fresh.

I love your post, it's a good reminder to sometimes stop and take stock of where we are and why.

Hugs

starrynite

Hey Cind,
I actually learned that process here at SR a few years back. It's a four step process but I can't remember all the steps. The purpose is to detach from the event and look at: what happened; your role; what you'd do different next time; and something else (maybe what you learned or maybe that's part of what you'd do different?)

Anyway, I just want to avoid future situations that escalate because of a mistake that I make.

cinderellawkids

Amen to that.