Hi
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
welcome to sr. sorry about your bf but i'm so glad you found us. there is yrs of exp, strength and hope here. these kind people have literally helped to save my sanity.
i don't have any real answers for you other than your bf's behavior right now is common for addicts. most of the time when i didn't hear from my addicted husband, he was out using and didn't want the interferance. i hope this is not the case with your bf.
what to expect? well until he's ready to seek help for himself, his addiction and behavior will get progressively worse and there is nothing you can do to stop that from happening. he has to really want to help himself. the best thing you can do now is focus more on you and what you want your life to look like in the near future, with him or without him. that choice belong to you. i can tell you that trying to live with addiction is a very hard and painful life to live. its one that i wouldn't wish on my worse enemy if i had one.
read all you can here, especially check out the stickies at the top of the forum page. learn all you can so that you know what it is you are working with. post as much as you like, others will be alone shortly. try not to worry too much, he'll probably contact you sooner or later.
maybe it would help you to think about whether or not this behavior is something you can live with and how long. personally i think you deserve so much more out of a relationship, but the choice is yours. i'll keep you both in my prayers.
i don't have any real answers for you other than your bf's behavior right now is common for addicts. most of the time when i didn't hear from my addicted husband, he was out using and didn't want the interferance. i hope this is not the case with your bf.
what to expect? well until he's ready to seek help for himself, his addiction and behavior will get progressively worse and there is nothing you can do to stop that from happening. he has to really want to help himself. the best thing you can do now is focus more on you and what you want your life to look like in the near future, with him or without him. that choice belong to you. i can tell you that trying to live with addiction is a very hard and painful life to live. its one that i wouldn't wish on my worse enemy if i had one.
read all you can here, especially check out the stickies at the top of the forum page. learn all you can so that you know what it is you are working with. post as much as you like, others will be alone shortly. try not to worry too much, he'll probably contact you sooner or later.
maybe it would help you to think about whether or not this behavior is something you can live with and how long. personally i think you deserve so much more out of a relationship, but the choice is yours. i'll keep you both in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Watching the sunrise
Posts: 104
The fact that you are here and seeking advice and support shows that you have a great deal of insight.....SR is a great place to learn...about the addict, and about ourselves.
Teke said it best. JMO, but personally, if I had it to do over again, and if I knew then what I know now, I would have run as far and as fast as I could away from my addict boyfriend. Instead, I married him thinking it would get better. Things just got worse over time. I wish I would have believed then that I deserved more...
It's a very hard journey....Being the loved one of an addict definitely takes a toll on one's mind body and soul. Ultimately, you need to consider what is best for you...
((((hugs))))
Teke said it best. JMO, but personally, if I had it to do over again, and if I knew then what I know now, I would have run as far and as fast as I could away from my addict boyfriend. Instead, I married him thinking it would get better. Things just got worse over time. I wish I would have believed then that I deserved more...
It's a very hard journey....Being the loved one of an addict definitely takes a toll on one's mind body and soul. Ultimately, you need to consider what is best for you...
((((hugs))))
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by Hunny1116 
JMO, but personally, if I had it to do over again, and if I knew then what I know now, I would have run as far and as fast as I could away from my addict boyfriend. Instead, I married him thinking it would get better. Things just got worse over time. I wish I would have believed then that I deserved more...
I was so freaking codependent and this was less then three years ago.I don't want to tell you to leave or stay because that decision is up to you and you alone but like Hunny said, if I had to do it all over again I would have run far and fast away from the man I married.
You have come to the right place, I encourage you to read as many posts as you can and hopefully you will find strength and serenity in your decisons.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 729
It is really hard to say what to expect as every addict is somewhat different but in a lot of ways the same. The only thing that I know I cant expect from my abf is the truth. Just be sure no matter what to protect yourself and your finances. I will hope for the best. This place helps tremendously. I can write my feelings that I sometimes cant tell people out of embarassment. But here I feel safe so welcome.
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