mermaidgirl

I don't know if this post will help anyone, but I do know that some of you have helped me enormously without your ever knowing here. Hopefully, this post will do just that-if even for one person out there.

My ever-rageful RAH was asked to leave by me 37 days ago. This is a taste of my days now...I wake up in my big bed alone now with two dogs on either side. I no longer have him whispering things in my ears, like the names of men who he thought I was fooling around with.

The stress of "what did he do now?"...is gone. Although legally I am still married to him, I now understand why they say not to make any decisions right away. Every day is a gift-to me because I stood up for myself and said enough is enough because I am worth it.

I don't wish him ill will, but I take care of myself every day in the smallest of ways where I wasn't able to before when he was present. I now know that if anything compromises my peace and serenity right now-it won't work for me because I know what I can have if I honor myself and let my HP work instead of trying to control things I know I have no control over.

Was it scary? Hell yea. We get along fine for now and he wants nothing more than to be in my life-hopefully as a husband. I feel absolutely no pressure to make him feel good by telling him anything other than what I feel presently. Wow. What a change for me. I cannot express here-how peaceful and honored I feel to be in my own company, and that is new and fresh and feels so good...

Maybe this will help someone who is on the edge-wondering if the future is worth it? All I can say is I am worth it and I owed it to myself to act on what I knew was a destructive relationship and I would have advised anyone to do what I did. Why was it hard for me to do it? Because I wasn't healthy enough to do it and I have worked really, really hard...and you can do it too-if you want it.

freefalling

"Why was it hard for me to do it? Because I wasn't healthy enough to do it and I have worked really, really hard...and you can do it too-if you want it".

Well done and congrats on your recovery. You have done the hard work and you will never go back to that scary unhealthy place. You deserve this serenity !

IamSaved

Congrats and good for you!

The journey of recovery is so hard, and you are on the right path! What strength you have to leave a very bad situation, and realize you are worth SO MUCH MORE than what you had!

Peace and ((HUGS)) to you!

Jadmack25

Bless you Mermaid for this post. It gives a big boost to all of us, not just those still working out the "what if's" of their situations.

Hard to act, yes ma'am. Painful, traumatic and so much hassle, yes all of these.
Worth it all, in the end....oh yes, yes, yes.

God bless

mermaidgirl

Thank you all for the wishes...

Footnote: I still see said RAH and it isn't always good (like last night)...BUT, he left when he became inappropriate and I closed the door...and walked away and heard that car leave and had peace once again.

I do believe people can change if they are willing, able, committed and they work their program. I know, because I have to work mine every day and it is particular to ME-I know I cannot prescribe what is right for him or anyone else. My heart-is truly broken, but that's ok too...at least I am taking care of myself first before anyone else.

HUGE hugs to all of you...and I continue to grow...

freefalling

Dear Mermaid. I know your heart is broken. It is so very painful. But rather sooner than later. It gets so much tougher. Less of yourself will remain the longer you stay. More work needs to be done the longer you stay.

You are facing your pain. You are brave. Stay the course.

Hugs