daftpunk

.....that I am indeed an alcoholic. For a long time I was in denial, pretending that since I didnt drink everyday that I didnt have a problem. But recently (and in the past, but I am noticing it more) I have started to hurt the people I love (emotionally, not physically, although I wouldnt claim that is better) and I cant afford to do that. When I drink I turn into an unsociable mean person, and then dont even remember the horrible things I have said to people. I think I can cope without drinking, but I am struggling with not drinking socially. I havent filled the void and I need to find things to put in place of drinking. I guess Im just here for support. I dont even know what Im asking for, just posting to get it out. One of my true realisations came after reading the book 'what did I do last night?' and seeing images of myself in there. Thats when I decided to stop..

yukonm

NEOMARXIST

Hi.

I can relate to some of what you say there. I came to the conclusion that I can't have it both ways ie- want the 'social' drinks but not all the fallout that always comes from it.

Not that there was anything ever 'social' with my drinking anyway! I only liked the company of other drunks when drinking or if not then the company of the biggest drunk of them all; Me! lol.

Recovery from alcoholism is about so much more than merely not drinking. It's like a new education in life!

Peace

Dee74

Welcome to SR daftpunk

this place helped me sort a lot of things out - hope we can do the same for you too

D

DonaldS

Have you read the primary text of AA, Daft? We call it the "Big Book", and you can get a copy at most any group of AA--or even at the library. You might see yourself in there...

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us!

You'll find lots of support here and lots of information too.

SoberJosh

Oh I totally know what you are saying about trying to fill the void. I also was a black out drunk, it was the only thing that ever got me any sleep :P I have only 11 days sober and I have found myself having a very hard time finding things to do that keep my mind off of drinking. There was another thread in here that included a very long list of things to do besides drink/use. I do find it helpful to know what other people are doing in place of what they used to do, but for me the obsession is still always there. I have managed to abstain from drinking, but nothing I do can take my mind off of that (now non-existent) alluring next drink... :wtf2

I guess only time can heal that wound. I'm going to start working the 12 steps as soon as my sponsor gets home from California next week. I hope that puts a strong damper on those needy feelings too. Great post Daft, and best of luck with getting that drink out of your head like you did with your body. Let me know how it goes, maybe we can learn from one another some.

least

Welcome to SR! I hope we can give you the support and information you need to live a sober rewarding life. I wish you the best in your recovery. It takes some effort and a lot of changes on your part but living sober is so worth it.

CarolD

Glad you are seeking ways to have a better healthier life.
About those blackouts?
Mine stopped immediately when I quit drinking....

Welcome to our recovery community