It Gets Better, Right?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PM me
Posts: 324
It Gets Better, Right?
Tomorrow is my birthday. Last year xABF said he was going to come out to celebrate, but he just called and didn't leave a voicemail. I got no explanation, apology or anything. Of course now I see things clearer and realize he was probably busy using and thought he could get away with ignoring it. The whole situation now going NC and accepting reality as it is...it needed to be done.
I get really depressed sometimes around that time of the month and I have a hard time getting up. I exercise, I read, I go to Al-anon, trying to find a therapist...but I simply just feel so hopeless. I am excited of new possibilities. But I just have no motivation. I'm used to stress in my life to keep me going.
I have taken anti-depressants before in my life and I'm thinking I need to try them again...cuz I don't even feel like celebrating. Today. Tomorrow. Or even next weekend. But I'm always on the fence about them.
I have to stop thinking about all of this...I don't think about how to fix it now, I just mourn it. I go out with friends and everything is still laced with memories of x. And then I just want to kick myself.
Sorry this is super depressing, I'm just wondering what you all have done to grieve. I don't want to waste my time any more!!! I don't want to give him all the credit - there are things that make me predisposed to have a harder time with this than the average person....
some days are better than others, but overall I'm just really sad right now.
I get really depressed sometimes around that time of the month and I have a hard time getting up. I exercise, I read, I go to Al-anon, trying to find a therapist...but I simply just feel so hopeless. I am excited of new possibilities. But I just have no motivation. I'm used to stress in my life to keep me going.
I have taken anti-depressants before in my life and I'm thinking I need to try them again...cuz I don't even feel like celebrating. Today. Tomorrow. Or even next weekend. But I'm always on the fence about them.
I have to stop thinking about all of this...I don't think about how to fix it now, I just mourn it. I go out with friends and everything is still laced with memories of x. And then I just want to kick myself.
Sorry this is super depressing, I'm just wondering what you all have done to grieve. I don't want to waste my time any more!!! I don't want to give him all the credit - there are things that make me predisposed to have a harder time with this than the average person....
some days are better than others, but overall I'm just really sad right now.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
First of all, :day1
second, it is ok to be sad, grieving is a process that extends for different lengths of time for each person. - ususally the first year hits all the special days.
I make sure I eat healthy, I work at getting sleep b/c that is hard, and exercise is difficult b/c I have physical problems but I do what I can. Yoga is good for the body and the mind to relax.
I also like to learn something new like this winter I learned how to make warm, fuzzy, cuddly blankets - I made some murals to hang in a spare room, and began to decorate some with my own taste. Money can be limiting but the internet is great for finding deals. I burn candles, listen to music and listen to spiritual seminars on line. Occ i call my kids and go to dinner. walks in nature are great no matter what time of season.
I allow myself to feel sad b/c I know i will get over it. even the days I cry a lot, it stops. the days I stay in bed, don't last, not calling people or talking doens't really last either. in fact, we do get over the grief, one day at a time.
second, it is ok to be sad, grieving is a process that extends for different lengths of time for each person. - ususally the first year hits all the special days.
I make sure I eat healthy, I work at getting sleep b/c that is hard, and exercise is difficult b/c I have physical problems but I do what I can. Yoga is good for the body and the mind to relax.
I also like to learn something new like this winter I learned how to make warm, fuzzy, cuddly blankets - I made some murals to hang in a spare room, and began to decorate some with my own taste. Money can be limiting but the internet is great for finding deals. I burn candles, listen to music and listen to spiritual seminars on line. Occ i call my kids and go to dinner. walks in nature are great no matter what time of season.
I allow myself to feel sad b/c I know i will get over it. even the days I cry a lot, it stops. the days I stay in bed, don't last, not calling people or talking doens't really last either. in fact, we do get over the grief, one day at a time.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hi MGR,
Yes it does get better. "This too will pass" is a truthful slogan. I have noticed that my slumps last for about 3 days and then I start to come back around.
One thing that helps me is to make a gratitude list. I have lots to be thankful for in my life. Making my list or reciting my list helps lift my spirits. Sometimes it is the simple pleasures in life that make me a happy girl. Like bendy straws and PB&J sandwiches with potato chips in between the bread! Mmmmm!
If you feel like you are unable to pull yourself out of your slump, please get help from your medical professional. Take care of yourself, you are worth the effort!
Yes it does get better. "This too will pass" is a truthful slogan. I have noticed that my slumps last for about 3 days and then I start to come back around.
One thing that helps me is to make a gratitude list. I have lots to be thankful for in my life. Making my list or reciting my list helps lift my spirits. Sometimes it is the simple pleasures in life that make me a happy girl. Like bendy straws and PB&J sandwiches with potato chips in between the bread! Mmmmm!
If you feel like you are unable to pull yourself out of your slump, please get help from your medical professional. Take care of yourself, you are worth the effort!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Hi 
and a very
to You.
Yes it does eventually get better, but it needs lots of work done before it does.
Hang in there, do what you need to grow in yourself and you will be free again.
God bless
and a very
to You.Yes it does eventually get better, but it needs lots of work done before it does.
Hang in there, do what you need to grow in yourself and you will be free again.
God bless
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: UK and Australia
Posts: 447
Happy Birthday!:day1
Just wanted to add that in my experience I need to go through the downs to experience the ups!...and now I would have to say I have many many more ups then downs!....Take care do something nice for yourself for your birthday - some lovely bubble bath, light a candle, buy yourself some flowers and chocolates, rent out a dvd and put your feet up. Birthdays only come once a year and they are meant to be celebrated.....in whichever way you feel......post and let us know how you are.
Take care Phiz
Just wanted to add that in my experience I need to go through the downs to experience the ups!...and now I would have to say I have many many more ups then downs!....Take care do something nice for yourself for your birthday - some lovely bubble bath, light a candle, buy yourself some flowers and chocolates, rent out a dvd and put your feet up. Birthdays only come once a year and they are meant to be celebrated.....in whichever way you feel......post and let us know how you are.
Take care Phiz
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 594
Originally Posted by Pelican 
Like bendy straws and PB&J sandwiches with potato chips in between the bread! Mmmmm!
I'm so going to the store tomorrow.
Mary, I'm sending you hugs upon hugs upon hugs. It's soooo hard going through this. I'm right there with you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Jordan, MN
Posts: 91
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARY!!
I have been where you are. It WILL get better. I always like to say that I go through the bad times for a reason. I always learn some good lessons.
Good Judgment comes from Experience; Experience comes from Bad Judgment!
I have been where you are. It WILL get better. I always like to say that I go through the bad times for a reason. I always learn some good lessons.
Good Judgment comes from Experience; Experience comes from Bad Judgment!
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