nodaybut2day

I'm sorry to bring up more non-alkie related stuff...it's more codie stuff than anything else.

Yesterday, Wednesday is the day XAH usually picks DD up from daycare for his weekday visitation. He picks her up at 17h00, takes her home, feeds her and then I pick her up at 18h30. Rather short if you ask me.

Last week he cancelled because he said he hadn't organized his work schedule around picking her up (new job apparently).

After last week-end's text argument, I decided it's no longer my job to constantly ask him if and when he's picking up our daughter from daycare. He knows it's Wednesday. If it's not, we text and discuss. Simple right?

Last night I meet my mother downtown for our "girls' night out", which we've started to do while DD is at her father's place. I called the daycare on a hunch at 16h45 to check if XAH had been there. Apparently not. I texted him to ask him why he hadn't picked DD up. He responded with
"Oh NOw you're texting? Well, since you didn't ask me, I'm not going to pick her up."

Hm. I respond "Ok fine". Then mom and I hightail it down to DD's daycare and pick her up only 5 minutes late.

I had to congratulate myself because I didn't even get angry. It didn't even phase me. In fact, I was rather pleased with my "experiment" because it seems as though when XAH doesn't have a secretary running after him to get stuff done, nothing gets done. He said he'd serve me with papers...nothing yet. He said he'd reschedule mediation. Nothing yet...Also, since he should be getting served in the next 2 or 3 weeks, and then we go to court for an interim ruling 10 days after that, it doesn't look so good on him that he's supposedly demanding 50/50 shared custody but that he cancelled 2 visits in a row just recently because he was throwing a hissy fit.

so, yay for me. I kept my cool.

My only concern at this point is that the primary care giver at DD's daycare is being fired and will be gone in 2 weeks. If she's not there, I don't want DD going there, so I'm going to have to switch her to another daycare hopefully closer to my place so there's less travel time for me and DD. The downside is that I think XAH is legally allowed to refuse my choice because it's inconvenient for him...

suki44883

Why would he be able to refuse your choice of daycare just because it's inconvenient for him? That doesn't make any sense at all. Is there something in writing from the court stating that? If you are the primary care giver, you have the right to make choices on your daughter's behalf. At least, that's how it is in the States. I can't imagine Canada being all that much different. I'd for sure check it out with your attorney though.

You did great though, with his little temper tantrum.

nodaybut2day

Well, right now, we have shared legal custody, which is the norm unless a parent is totally unfit (as in, in jail or mentally ill or a repeat child molester). Legal custody seems to entail having say in the child's care and education. XAH would conceivably oppose my change of daycare based on the fact that the new place does not offer English language service; the east end of the city is very francophone so it's tough to find a bilingual educational daycare on short notice there. Even if the real issue is travel, he could very well base his objection on language....

I figured that since French is so hard to learn, DD should start with that, and in a year or two, I could look into a preschool with a bilingual program (plus English can be learned through pop culture...it's everywhere!)...that's how I learned English: in kindergarden. Before that I didn't speak a word of it.

tjp613

Yeah... exactly what Anvil said.

nodaybut2day

"Il peut manger de la marde" (He can eat $hit)

Jadmack25

I f he is so dense that he can't see he is digging his own hole (legalwise) and it will come back to bite him, then let him go for it. Keep it all safe to bolster your case.

God bless