Apple6

Hello, I'm new! And I need to quit drinking and I'm hoping that this will be a good tool to hold me accountable and allow me to rant when I feel I want a drink. I live in a smaller town and going to meetings isn't something I'm willing to do because guaranteed I will run into someone I know.

Basically moderation and I don't go together and I frequently drink myself into oblivion and then all sorts of terrible things happen (which is an understatement), and then come the horrible feelings and unmet obligations. I then feel that I want to quit drinking and then a little time passes and I'm back at it. It's a cycle that's been going on for many years; I want to stop it. The thought of what's to come if I don't is terrifying, which I'm sure if you're reading this then you understand. Some things have recently changed in my life and I feel that this puts me in a good position to take on this task now.

I'm looking forward to keeping the terrible things that result from drinking fresh in my mind and reaping the benefits of not drinking, as to provide continued motivation to not drink. It's exciting to know that I'm not alone. Any advice/warnings that might help are greatly appreciated!

Astronomy

A.A. Big Book

That book has saved my butt numerous times when I couldn't make a meeting.

And welcome!

intention

Hi Apple and welcome.

The alcoholic mind forgets very quickly how bad it is when you are drinking, however hard you try to remember. It tricks us back into drinking. Listening to others share what is it like in meetings and here online helps remind us of where we don't be.

Are the consequences of someone seeing you at AA worse than the consequences of you drinking? I really would ask you to reconsider going to meetings by asking yourself if this fear is a rational one. The alcoholic mind will do anything and everything to trick you back into drinking.

Whatever you do, you really have to have some program of recovery if you are going to succeed in getting sober and staying sober. A lot here use AA but others don't so I suggest you check out what is available, ask questions and think of a plan you are willing to do.
Keep in touch.
You have made a good decision to quit.

Dee74

Hi Apple6

Welcome to SR

I know that cycle every well - I lived it for the best part of 20 years.

You'll find a lot of support here

I drank enough so that SR was enough for me. It's helped me to (I hope) permanently break the cycle....but others here need face to face support too...

I hope, if you think you need it down the track, you'll reconsider looking into meetings or something...our addiction will feed on anything, but especially our pride...don't let being recognised stop you if you need the help

D

Stereosteveo

Congratulatiuons on your commitment. Here's some things I've heard from meetings that have humbled me enough to think twice about missing my usual 7+ meetings a week.

"I had no shame in letting them see me wobble, slobber, cuss, and puke all over the place. But I'll be damned if I'm going to take a chance on letting them see me trying to get sober and better myself."

"I had no problem bowing over the pot I pooped in every morning puking my guts out with my family watching. But I had a big problem with bowing my head asking for help amongst those just like me."

Been there done that.
Then came a time when I would know what REAL pain felt like.
As much as I credit the process in the book for my sobriety, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt had it not been for the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous I would NOT be sober today. The Fellowship helped me achieve a level of pain I could not have imagined going in, and willingness I had not yet even dreamed of coming out.

But you may be different. Good luck in your journey.

least

Welcome to SR! THere are lots of recovery programs out there. There are also lots of us here who got sober using this site for help and information. There is also counseling for addiction. I see mine once a week and it's been most helpful. It's not easy to stay sober but the rewards are very much worth the effort.

Congrats on deciding to live a sober life!

CarolD

Thanks for joining us.....Welcome!

Anna

Welcome!

You will find lots of support here!

And, yes, I was caught up in the cycle for a long time too, but know that you can get past this.

Spawn

bdiddy5522

So what if you run into someone that you know at the meetings? That means you just found someone else that shares the same addiction you do. I had the same thoughts as you. I am fairly prominent in my town and worried about that. Turns out I DID run into people I knew, and they welcomed me with open arms. Doctors, orthodontists, business owners, etc. Alcoholism doesnt care about status. I wish you the best of luck and let us know how we can help.

Ceres

I'm sorta an A.A. Head but I didn't see this is a prior reply, so I wanted to throw it out there. There are open and closed AA meetings. The open ones anybody can attend. The closed ones are for the alcoholic/problem drinker individuals themselves. The meetings are listed with the type. A closed meeting isn't going to be attended by anyone who doesn't have a good idea about what you're going through. Many need support of like individuals.

Hevyn

Welcome Apple. It sounds like you're ready to make a new life for yourself without all the damage & uncertainty that alcohol causes. SR saved my life because I came crawling in here in shambles, not even knowing what I was looking for. I typed a few lines and received an amazing response. It was as if everyone knew just what I needed to hear. I wasn't alone any more. Slowly, I built up the courage to stop all together.

I never imagined my life without alcohol and drank heavily for over 25 yrs. with disastrous results. This never has to be you. Congratulations on your attitude and determination. Let us hear more about you & your journey to sobriety.

Apple6

Thanks for the feedback and some things to consider!