Journal to Recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 729
Journal to Recovery
So today is day one of no contact. It has been difficult. But I am staying strong and keeping in contact with friends. On friday a friend had asked me if I knew anyone that had a certain blood type and I knew ABF had it and was willing to donate. (a 10 yr old girl is having a heart transplant).
Well the friend texted me today to pass the info along. I asked a friend as I didnt want to break contact and she suggested I ask her to forward it along. So I did and gave her his number. She was comfortable with that. Good for me.
I than went and spent some time at my sisters grave and when I pulled up the song she sang me as a child came on and I knew god was there and that everything was going to be ok. I have amazing people in my life and I am grateful eventhough it is hard. I will continue to post as this is day 1 and I know the nights are the hardest for me.
Love everyone!
Well the friend texted me today to pass the info along. I asked a friend as I didnt want to break contact and she suggested I ask her to forward it along. So I did and gave her his number. She was comfortable with that. Good for me.
I than went and spent some time at my sisters grave and when I pulled up the song she sang me as a child came on and I knew god was there and that everything was going to be ok. I have amazing people in my life and I am grateful eventhough it is hard. I will continue to post as this is day 1 and I know the nights are the hardest for me.
Love everyone!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 729
Ok so I am more codependent than I thought. I texted the exABF today which opened communication. It was good communication but still failed. I will keep trying.
He let me know that he is working on recovery and is not trying to get me back. That it is life or death and he was putting relationship before recovery. So it made me feel better but is still codie. God should make me feel better not his words. Working!
Also I have a dilemma which I am not familiar with. As I had previously mentioned he leaves on March 1 to do training for deployment to Iraq. Before all this we signed up for a couples retreat through the army. He let me know that he got the orders for us to go and cannot cancel. I am not sure what that means. He did say he expects me to say no to going and wants me to think about it. He said it would be nice to say goodbye as he will be out of our State pretty much until June of 2011. I agree with this part but have some pros and cons
Pros
I get paid $500 and am an unemployed college student looking for work (selfish)
It is in a really expensive hotel in a place I have never visited (selfish)
It is centered around healthy relationship seminars (kind of interested)
Cons
We are not together
Not sure I trust myself to be around him at a vulnerable time
Thoughts?
He let me know that he is working on recovery and is not trying to get me back. That it is life or death and he was putting relationship before recovery. So it made me feel better but is still codie. God should make me feel better not his words. Working!
Also I have a dilemma which I am not familiar with. As I had previously mentioned he leaves on March 1 to do training for deployment to Iraq. Before all this we signed up for a couples retreat through the army. He let me know that he got the orders for us to go and cannot cancel. I am not sure what that means. He did say he expects me to say no to going and wants me to think about it. He said it would be nice to say goodbye as he will be out of our State pretty much until June of 2011. I agree with this part but have some pros and cons
Pros
I get paid $500 and am an unemployed college student looking for work (selfish)
It is in a really expensive hotel in a place I have never visited (selfish)
It is centered around healthy relationship seminars (kind of interested)
Cons
We are not together
Not sure I trust myself to be around him at a vulnerable time
Thoughts?
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