BS08

Just wondering...

He cheats on me, replaces me without a thought with another, blocks me completely out of his life, treated me like I didn't exist anymore, but yet he keeps my photos, our photos, on his FB page for all the public, and the new girlfriend, to see (I was told this. I didn't look. Done with that). This doesn't bother either of them seeing those reminders?

Why would you keep photos up on your public page of someone you so cruelly shoved out of your life and don't want anything to do with anymore? I removed all his photos IMMEDIATELY and want nothing of him on my page ever again.

Just wondering....

Pelican

You are trying to apply reasonable thinking to an active alcoholic.

Remember the expression:

You are going to the hardware store and asking for a fresh loaf of bread.

So...
How are you today?

MissFixit

Don't know. But they sure do crazy and illogical stuff.

BS08

Actually, I'm quite good actually, thanks for asking. I've done a lot of work on myself in the last month and accepted a lot of things. Really have set a plan for my life and my goals and it feels good. Still have pangs here and there, but they are a lot better. Got some wonderful cats, working seriously on some career goals that I think I should of done a year ago, and really having a great time.

And I leave Sat to go to Vancouver for the Olympics for the week! It's been a year in the making, and the ex was supposed to go with me, but screw him. I'm going to the Olympics!

Pelican

Respect!

Have fun!

TakingCharge999

Wow that's great!!!

Well perhaps you can imagine him superdrunk in a tavern?? he may have not been out there for months so he hasn't had time to update his online stuff.

Or maybe he forgot his password on a binge.



I don't mean to insult anyone or hope those are the real reasons, just that sometimes when I started obsessing about the whys, placing a possible explanation involving alcohol made my mind rest

BS08

Nah, he purposely left them up. Just don't understand the logic. But like Pelican, they aren't logical...

aboutdone

Who cares? Not to be rude but does it matter? If you think about it, it shows his lack of respect for new GF. That should give you a reinforced thought that your glad to be done with him. If it was me I would let ALL of your friends know you are done with him and you do not want to hear anything at all about him. When my AH and I were separated, well meaning friends would text me all hours of the night telling me what bar AH was at and who he was with. It drove me nuts but then I changed my number and gave to only family. When I did that I pretty much took my life back and was able to truly start moving forward, without obsessing about all the "why does he do this to me" crap.

Jadmack25

Hope you have a ball in Vancouver. By the way, ever felt that you have been on that "skeleton/luge" before.....racing God only knows where, and at great speed? I do!!


And as for your very X, well.....

God bless

BS08

That's cute.

And I have Luge and SKeleton tickets BTW. It's like my past year on a Olympic level....I just don't win gold.

BS08

And I like that the athlete is female in your pic.

Live

My XABF did weird things like that with photos....he liked jealous games and using past gf's to try to incite jealousy and competition. He was also very possesive and territorial..so even tho' he might throw me away and have someone move in within a week...he wasn't done with me...and he used things such as photos to lay a claim.
ick.
I hear Vancouver is GREAT!!!

MissFixit

Hi.

Hope things are okay. One thing I want to add is that there is really no way to figure out waht he is thinking. Even if you could, it wouldn't change what he did, who is is or the crap he put you through. Many of us here have struggled trying to figure out "why" "they" did what they did. I have had 2 therapists tell me their own experiences with addicts doing crazy things that don't make sense (are inconsistent or illogical). Both therapists told me that I/we/you can't figure it out. To "us" it doesn't make sense That is where the acceptance that we cann't control others and focus on ourselves comes into play.

I hate you. Go away forever. I am with my soulmate now. I love her. Why are you going? You love me. Here are our pictures. We are friends....That is the same type of crazy that I dealt with (and it pops up later when you least expect it, FYI)

freya

I can't really answer your quesrion, because I don't understand crazy people.....and I think that that's actually a good thing!

I've found in the past after break-ups that it's been helpful for me to tell people who knew my ex that I didn't want to talk about her, hear about her, or know what she was doing.

Sometimes I had to tell them several times and like cut them off in mid-sentence when they'd try to tell me something about her, but eventually they got the point.

I think it speaks to how much codependency and dysfunction in general has been institutionalized our culture that people seem to think we want to keep relationships with ex's alive -- even if only in our heads!!! Like it's just assumed that everyone in the world is addicted to this kind of silly drama!

Good for you that you're not stalking him in cyber-space! Now, if only you can get your "helpful" friends to stop doing it for you and reporting back!

Second-hand stalking, what a concept! - I think whoever told you about this needs to get a friggin' life!

freya

Jadmack25

Sorry BS08, I have no idea what goes thru somefolks mushed up brain, and thinking about "why" sometimes sends my cells into meltdown, so I try not to bother now.



Seems to explain it a little.

God bless