Hope my hindsight can help another...
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 512
Hope my hindsight can help another...
Since joining SR I've learned a lot and really had to look at my circumstances, events, incidents that brought me here upon his death by overdose. Part of me thinks, how could I be so stupid, blind, naive, ignorant, careless with myself? The other part of me thinks, why didn't things work out when he put so much effort into our relationship.....that's where I stop!
I recall once of a hundred times he kicked me out and begged me to come back and I wouldn't go. I refused. He set up an appointment with a couples counselor because he thought it would be good for me to see and hear things from an unbiased party and objectively. Today I recall he picking me up for that appointment, didn't have any funds to pay for the appointment (1st red flag), we begin the discussion and he admits to an opiate addiction and an affair. Then the counselor asks him have you been drinking today? He said yes. You can smell that? I thought I was being so sneaky. (2nd red flag). Closes the session with the statement "until all addictions are eradicated, the relationship isn't in the stage of rebuilding trust. So, we get in the car and he is sooooo disappointed and the couples counselor idea essentially backfired on HIM! He turns to me and says, "I want a beer" . He drives to buy a beer and the strip mall houses a laundry with an elderly man sitting outside on a plastic lawn chair drinking a 40. My guy says "that's gonna be me" and rips out in laughter, drinking his own beer.
How could I be so gullible? The man showed up drunk, admitted an opiate addiction, disqualified what the counselor said, and then proceeded to buy another beer. His poison was hard rum and roxy. How did I not notice this *hit in the counselors office? It was all there in black and white, no gray areas. I hope that by sharing this with SR someone somewhere will relate to my story and snap out of the fog and get real with themselves and the life they're living OR not living. I feel like a fool.
I recall once of a hundred times he kicked me out and begged me to come back and I wouldn't go. I refused. He set up an appointment with a couples counselor because he thought it would be good for me to see and hear things from an unbiased party and objectively. Today I recall he picking me up for that appointment, didn't have any funds to pay for the appointment (1st red flag), we begin the discussion and he admits to an opiate addiction and an affair. Then the counselor asks him have you been drinking today? He said yes. You can smell that? I thought I was being so sneaky. (2nd red flag). Closes the session with the statement "until all addictions are eradicated, the relationship isn't in the stage of rebuilding trust. So, we get in the car and he is sooooo disappointed and the couples counselor idea essentially backfired on HIM! He turns to me and says, "I want a beer" . He drives to buy a beer and the strip mall houses a laundry with an elderly man sitting outside on a plastic lawn chair drinking a 40. My guy says "that's gonna be me" and rips out in laughter, drinking his own beer.
How could I be so gullible? The man showed up drunk, admitted an opiate addiction, disqualified what the counselor said, and then proceeded to buy another beer. His poison was hard rum and roxy. How did I not notice this *hit in the counselors office? It was all there in black and white, no gray areas. I hope that by sharing this with SR someone somewhere will relate to my story and snap out of the fog and get real with themselves and the life they're living OR not living. I feel like a fool.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by Insulated 
"Until all addictions are eradicated, the relationship isn't in the stage of rebuilding trust."
Thank you for this.
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