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Since I've Quit

Old 02-07-2010, 10:31 PM
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Since I've Quit

Well today I had a friend call me up and ask how my trip out of town was going. This friend is the same guy I have know since grade school but for the last few years have only hung out under the influence of alcohol. NE ways he calls me up this morning talking about his night out the night before saying how he got all messed up, drunk and spilling drinks all over the place at the bar, typical sat night for the both of us . I have told this friend several time over the last few weeks I quit drinking but he still insisted on asking me over the phone whether I had any beers the night before, a Saturday night btw. Reluctantly I said no, then he goes on "oh not even one wtf dude" as if I let him down by not drinking, so to shut him up I said "ya I had a few you know just took it easy". I found it quite interesting he had a relieved tone in his voice after I said this as though me drinking again is what he wanted to hear. Another thing thatt has ticked me off since I have quit is friends offering me beers when I go out to lunch with them or whatnot. One friend after telling them I'm done drinking offered me a beer at least 3 more times after I told him I quit. Sometimes I just feel like say "shut the f up, I don't want a beer and I really don't want to be around your drunk ass offering me beers anymore". It's funny because after they know your serious about quitting the calls stop coming as often and there really is no reason to hang out with them, alcohol was the only thing that kept us together and we both know it. Ne ways just kind of venting.
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Old 02-07-2010, 10:55 PM
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Hey Joel
thanks for the update

Yeah a couple of my friends were like that too - trouble is I lied and said I's had a few too, just to shut them up...

the next thing I knew I had a few of the boys around, 'specially to see me and have a drink with me...

and I gave in...this happened more than once.

I really think with some of my drinking buddies they were seriously threatened by the changes I was proposing....maybe they saw themselves in me and didn't want to, or may they just didn't like change...but when I got serious about being sober I had to let them go from my life .

D
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Old 02-08-2010, 04:23 AM
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Unfortunately I also had to deal with these types and I don't think it gets any better.
It was one of these that got my back to drinking when I got my DUI in 1986 and it took me until last year to quit again.
Be careful they are slowly wearing you down.
Sometimes, sadly, it is best to cut off contact with people that are not going to be supportive and try to sabotage your quest.
Good job and good luck.
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Old 02-08-2010, 04:42 AM
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Your friend doesn't sound like a friend at all. I agree that your being sober may be a threat to him or maybe just illuminates his own drinking problems.

It may be best for you to not hang around them/him anymore.
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Old 02-08-2010, 11:12 AM
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Thanks for posting this. I had been limiting my drinking in the last 6 months or so and find that all of my friends are really wrapped up in drinking and that every social event revolves around drinking. I have declined some invites to hang out because of it...and now it's looking like I will lose friends because of it. They aren't pushy though about it like your friends you mention. But I don't want to be in an environment like that....
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:35 PM
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Even worst than friends

Is when the man you're living with does the same thing to you. We've both been nightly drinkers for the last five years together, but I've recently become allergic to alcohol and need to stop. You would think seeing my symptoms would make him understand that my health is more important. But I think it's just threatens him so much because deep down he knows he has a problem too and doesn't want to face it. So instead, he just tries to find a different alcohol that I won't react to, or tries to convince me that it doesn't happen all the time so I should keep trying different things until I find a solution that will still let me drink.

I'll probably have to move out to be successful at quitting and I know that, but it's really hard to do. I'm hoping I don't have to get all new friends as well. I guess I'll have to cross that road like you guys are when I get to it.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:55 PM
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It saddens me to think I am going to lose a core group of friends through me chosing a new lifestyle but I have an awesome boyfriend and am looking forward to our new life together. I use to frequent bars A LOT and when I stopped going "those" friends disappeared. But after reading a lot on here I see the same thing being repeated that most people that you drink with, when you tell them you aren't drinking anymore they get defensive because deep down they know they shouldn't either....i know that will be the case with my friends, so I am not saying anything.
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