Dating after ABF
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 20
Dating after ABF
Hello,
I have had no contact with my exABF since the beginning of September of 09. I have ensured I stayed away as it was hell.
The issue is I have a new man in my life who is a decent guy. Actually the opposite of my exABF. I was very much interested in this man until he informed me he was interested!!!! LOL!! Now I am hot and cold and thinking about my exABF!!! What is up with that. I keep comparing and really my exABF does not have much on this guy except I felt that I was in love with him and I fell for him very quickly. We moved super fast and now with this guy I want to move super slow! This guy - one minute I want to see him and the next I don't! I have experieced this in the past with another decent guy and I ended it quickly. So I don't know if I am scared (commitment issues) or I am just not that into this guy anymore. I have been single for a very long time and I am starting to wonder if it is me.
Any advice? This is causing me exteme anxiety and I have only been seeing this guy for like 2 weeks. Do I end it with the new guy and why do I think I want my exABF back?
I have had no contact with my exABF since the beginning of September of 09. I have ensured I stayed away as it was hell.
The issue is I have a new man in my life who is a decent guy. Actually the opposite of my exABF. I was very much interested in this man until he informed me he was interested!!!! LOL!! Now I am hot and cold and thinking about my exABF!!! What is up with that. I keep comparing and really my exABF does not have much on this guy except I felt that I was in love with him and I fell for him very quickly. We moved super fast and now with this guy I want to move super slow! This guy - one minute I want to see him and the next I don't! I have experieced this in the past with another decent guy and I ended it quickly. So I don't know if I am scared (commitment issues) or I am just not that into this guy anymore. I have been single for a very long time and I am starting to wonder if it is me.
Any advice? This is causing me exteme anxiety and I have only been seeing this guy for like 2 weeks. Do I end it with the new guy and why do I think I want my exABF back?
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Maybe it's got nothing to do with the specific people. Maybe it's that you are like me and have not had much positive experience in ANY love relationships so you are getting nervous that you're going to go thru all that again?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
This is JMO, but since you're feeling uncertain about NewMan while still thinking a bit about XABF, perhaps it's time to just take a step back and examine your feelings/motivations.
You said you had no contact with XABF since September 09? That means it's only been 5 months. That's a relatively short period of time.
If this NewMan is meant to be in your life for years to come, then a) he'll be understanding if you want to take it slow and b) you don't need to rush because he's a good person.
You said you had no contact with XABF since September 09? That means it's only been 5 months. That's a relatively short period of time.
If this NewMan is meant to be in your life for years to come, then a) he'll be understanding if you want to take it slow and b) you don't need to rush because he's a good person.
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