nodaybut2day

...about a tattoo that you willingly put on your body that displays your XAH's name/initials?

I'm trying very hard to slowly get my life in order and separate myself from XAH and his madness, and yet THERE IT IS, on my lower back, in plain black ink, etched into my skin for good. DOH! I'm already done berating myself for getting a tat with someone's initials in it...

Moving along then.

What would you do?

Leave it be and try to forget about it?
Get it lasered and hope it doesn't look too bad?
Get another large tattoo over it?

I know this is rather OT, but I'm sort of at a loss here. This piece of body art is my only one, and I got it ...(ok this is embarassing) to "prove my love and my fidelity" to STBX. See how well that worked? Yah, he's reaaaal convinced that I was a faithful and wonderful spouse. Just using the past tense in that last sentence is a hint about how well it worked...

So, a word to the wise: DON'T GET A TATTOO WITH SOMEONE'S NAME IN IT!

Now, what do you think I should do with mine...

sb0804

Get one to put over it. If you get is removed and it looks bad you will still be reminded of that tatoo and the X.

I say cover it up. Maybe you could think of putting something better on top of something really bad.

Insulated

can a really talented artist perhaps morph it into something? I really really appreciate this post! You have no idea.

rdy4change

I agree with seeing if someone could change it. Perhaps into something to do with your daughter? You know that will be forever! Maybe salvage at least part of the initials?

Kittyboo

I think it's a really hard question to answer because it's such a personal choice....

First, I wouldn't regret getting it. I say that because at the time, it IS how you felt. It was a symbol of love. I say, never regret symbols of love.

However, I actually know people that have had tat's removed, and poof, they are gone! It's pretty amazing, I couldn't even see an outline of it. So that is an option.

But if you like the idea of a tattoo, then yes, I would try to have it recreated into something beautiful. Something that you love.
I always swore I would never get a tattoo.... one weekend in Vegas changed that! haha I got a small Eiffel Tower on my lower back. I love it! I love Paris, and the romance of it all. To me, the Eiffel Tower symbolizes love.

Cowgirl1265

The right artist can usually do a cover without making it too large. Depending on how big/thick the initials are, those are some of the easier covers to do.

justanothrdrunk

From what I understand, tattoo removal is more painful and more expensive than the tattoo itself - and you have to go for repeated treatments usually. Don't know from experience myself, just what I've heard.

If it were me, I would look into covering it over/retouching it. I have a few and know of a really good artist locally who has done work (not cover work, just regular) for me in the past, so that's the way I would lean.

barb dwyer

anvil said what I was gonna say.

Liek:

nelson Atkins (fake name but to give example)

becomes
Never Again.....

what are the initials?

maybe we all could come up with somehting.

Seren

Hmmmm....no idea....I'm a diabetic who takes 4 shots a day....no extra needles for me!

Maybe redo it like the whole "scarlet letter" in which the heroine embroiders all kinds of intricate embellishments on her letter "A" she has to wear. Eventually, it is not even recognized as the original letter!

Hugs, HG

nodaybut2day

It's a C and a B, over a tribal heart

Kittyboo

Well, this is a super quick thought, but you could see if an artist can make the C into an S and extend the letters down to create "Sempre Bella"...which is "Always Beautiful" in Italian.

coffeedrinker

sadbut,

i am pretty into symbolism. finding things in everyday life that represent important or powerful forces in our lives.

a few months after my divorce, i started thinking about getting one (didn't have any ink at all) and it seemed so cliche, but yeah, i really wanted to. as much as i liked the butterfly idea, just couldn't do that one, cuz it was SO over the top cliche. so i thought and thought and thought. after some months, nailing down the theme/word to use, i then researched other languages and looked at it to see what i thought would also look beautiful. i couldn't possibly be any more pleased with the end result.

so, imo, this changing, altering of what was to a new what is for you and your new life.....well nothing could be more cool. take your time; although you don't like seeing it, i think it will be worth waiting it out just a tad until just the right change comes to you!

harleyd101

Just my two cents, I did the same thing, except I spelled out his name!!! What was I thinking??!! (LOL, obviously I wasn't!!) I will tell you that I've had it lasered off, and yes, it did hurt more than the original tatt, and it took three treatments to erase it completely. Can't even tell it was there, no weird looking skin or shadow of what was there. Each treatment was $150.00 and it was worth every cent.

barb dwyer

boy.
yikes.

well -

either way,
I vote for doing whatever with the

"liberated' or 'graduation' attitude.

BackToMe

I agree with Kittyboo: "I would try to have it recreated into something beautiful. Something that you love."

My non-A XH had my name wrapped in vines which blended with the rest of the tattoo and covered it up that way. HEE

Best of luck and, yes, take your time and come up with something truly meaningful to YOU.

nodaybut2day

Thank you for your input everyone. I'm definitely leaning now towards covering the thing up, as my skin tends to keloid and hyperpigment, which I
I've read is a danger with lasering. Also, I've found an artist who's interested in drawing something for me based on my concept of rebirth and renewal (probably going to end up being a lotus flower floating on water)

LucyA

Could you change it to something like courage and bravery, or something like that?
You'll never forget why you had it done in the first place, but if it were me I think I'd work on changing to something that shows how I'd changed since then, and I suspect it's taken at least a little of both those words to get you where you are now.

GiveLove

Could you have a tattoo artist write "...is an idiot" after CB?

Sorry, not helpful at all, but it was my first thought when I read your post.

SO: I love all of the ideas above. Above all, let yourself off the hook for this, noday. It was who you were then - devoted and strong, both traits that you should never be ashamed of. Remember, you're stubborn and inventive! Find your way to something that makes you smile.

nodaybut2day

Great, now my coworkers are wondering why I'm hiding behind my partition giggling all by myself.

GiveLove, I adore how attentive you are.