aah1977

My RAH is dead set on divorce now. He will not discuss marriage counseling saying that I had plenty of time to get myself better. He is bringing up all of this stuff (ie things I said) from when he got back from rehab a year ago. For the last 6 months I have made a very conscious effort to work on how I talk to him, but for some reason he is fixated on the things that happened when he first came home. What is so weird is that he has consistently told me he was so thankful that I didn't give up on him-that he was trying to get better so we could have our family together. Within days his tune totally changed.

I started researching the Naltrexone implant because this is how he was when he got it the first time last year. Very despondent, moody, tired, full of anxiety, restless, insomnia, etc. He got a different dose on January 4 after a short relapse. So i found all of this info about serious side effects including irrationality, severe depression, and suicidal tendencies. I even found another online message board where there had been a thread with 23 posts all of people who had been on it and had these issues. So, I posted something and a RA contacted me back. He saw the state I lived in and told me he had the implant in June likely at the same clinic and had a horrible outcome. When he told the doctor about his depression he offered to give him another for free that one must not have been working. He said the doctor totally brushed him off. He thanked him but declined. These implants aren't approved by the FDA yet and I wonder if that is why the doctor is so quick to give a free one if there is an issue. My husband had gotten an abscess from his last one in June and when this new one came out the doctor offered it for free. This is totally disturbing to me! So after that 2 more people posted to me about their issues on the implant.

I thought about just calling his family physician to let him know the behavior I'm seeing so that he is part of his after care. I know he won't say anything to me because of HIPA, but I feel like I need to do something. I won't go to the IL's because they are a huge part of the problem. They enable more then I ever have and when I was standing up for myself and not coddling their son they made sure to let him know that a good wife wouldn't let him desert him in his time of trouble. Because I stopped kissing his you know what they thought I was horrible. They are LOVING this and I'm sure fueling it some!

I CAN NOT bring it up to my husband because he will say I'm just grasping at straws to save my marriage. I don't think that is the case at all! I still love him, he is my son's father, and I don't want something terrible to happen to him.

What do you all think I should do?

cece1960

It seems like a lot has been pushed on you, rather he working on himself as he should be.

The only advice I can give you is to step away and do something good for yourself. Think of something that will relieve the stress that you've been under.

Think of it this way...with all the attention his addiction is getting, whose taking care of you?

Give yourself a day off...you are worth it.
(((Hugs)))

teke

just want to let you know you are in my prayers.

marshallzhukov

I will say this with the caveat that I am not giving any medical advice - the symptoms you described, anxiety, irritability, restlessness, depression, etc., sound far more like common symptoms of someone in early recovery than they do from any naltrexone implant. If I understand correctly, he received the implant shortly after he stopped using - well, stopping using is now forcing him to take life on life's terms, and has denied him the crutch with which he dealt with life beforehand. Until he gets into some kind of recovery program or finds some kind of spiritual solution to his problem, you will probably see more of the same behaviors. As the Big Book of AA says, "our drinking was but a symptom...." What you are witnessing here are likely other symptoms now made manifest by the fact that he is no longer using.

aah1977

marshallzhukov, I totally agree with you and I've decided that I'm just going to take a step back and let things take their course. His behavior is a bit extreme, but I'm going to stay out of it. It isn't my problem! I can only just pray for him.

coffeedrinker

aah,

i keep getting the sense that you are a bit in panic mode these days. i know that you truly want to salvage your marriage, and it stinks to not have a say in it. is there any way you can just put it on the back burner for a time? just get a breather? even if things go on his timeline, one day he may get his head straight, and your head will be straight, and you might reconcile. stranger things have happened. i am just hoping for you to get a little peace

Teggie

I want to say this in a very loving way, please know that I feel your pain.

Step away from this.
It's not your problem. It's his. Let God handle it. You can't.
Work on your recovery, your the only one who can.

Put the focus back where it belongs, on you and your son. Do it for your son.

Please do this before you drive yourself crazy. I have been in your shoes and nearly went crazy myself. I can say this to you because I have been there.

Hugs,
Teggie