Grrrr, I am really mad!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: too close to the fire
Posts: 173
Grrrr, I am really mad!
Okay, I have been sugar coating everything lately, maybe it is denial, maybe it is habit, and who knows maybe it is just how I have taught myself to deal with painful things in my life especially lately!
I am so tired of the projection, tired of making everything perfect just to have it go un noticed. Tired allowing my life to sit on "hold" while to him I am a fleeting thought between drink 4 and five.
Grrr. The word fist fights, the tip-toeing around, the highs the lows of the rollercoaster rides, the instabilities, inconsistances, the begging to be noticed and touched. Desperation, anger and that it just a few........
I am not perfect please, I am a co-dependant with loving him and being needed my drug of choice......
I was just told by my counselor that I as well am an "Alcoholic" which as hard as it is to admit I am! I allow my desperate need to needed make poor choices when alcohol is involved and I have for ten years of my life.
Please help my here, I am weak.
I am so tired of the projection, tired of making everything perfect just to have it go un noticed. Tired allowing my life to sit on "hold" while to him I am a fleeting thought between drink 4 and five.
Grrr. The word fist fights, the tip-toeing around, the highs the lows of the rollercoaster rides, the instabilities, inconsistances, the begging to be noticed and touched. Desperation, anger and that it just a few........
I am not perfect please, I am a co-dependant with loving him and being needed my drug of choice......
I was just told by my counselor that I as well am an "Alcoholic" which as hard as it is to admit I am! I allow my desperate need to needed make poor choices when alcohol is involved and I have for ten years of my life.
Please help my here, I am weak.
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Welcome.
It's easy to see why you're having some anger issues, but the good news is that you are in control of your recovery. You. So stop hitting yourself over the head, willya? And start really doing the "I love me" dance!
Have you gone over to the "recovery" side of this wonderful place?
My ex-husband is in recovery, and I can tell you that those guys (the AA folks) love and support each other through thick and thin. They are a full of life bunch of folks.
Here, we tend to badmouth our alcoholic partners/parents/children, along with loving them. I would think that (all though I am not sure) that wouldn't be a great place for you to be, considering you were just told you're one of THEM.
I would also guess that attacking your own recovery from alcoholism would be top priority, over the codependence, but maybe another recovering A can come along and give you better advice.
Not that you're not welcome here! I just want to ensure you're receiving the best help possible. And that always starts with focusing on ourselves.
It's easy to see why you're having some anger issues, but the good news is that you are in control of your recovery. You. So stop hitting yourself over the head, willya? And start really doing the "I love me" dance!
Have you gone over to the "recovery" side of this wonderful place?
My ex-husband is in recovery, and I can tell you that those guys (the AA folks) love and support each other through thick and thin. They are a full of life bunch of folks.
Here, we tend to badmouth our alcoholic partners/parents/children, along with loving them. I would think that (all though I am not sure) that wouldn't be a great place for you to be, considering you were just told you're one of THEM.
I would also guess that attacking your own recovery from alcoholism would be top priority, over the codependence, but maybe another recovering A can come along and give you better advice.
Not that you're not welcome here! I just want to ensure you're receiving the best help possible. And that always starts with focusing on ourselves.
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