To let go or insist on treatment
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11
To let go or insist on treatment
Hello,
This is my first post. I have a son who I forced in to detox yesterday. He says he will never give up drugs and alcohol, that I should let him fall, but he is only 18 and I want him to give treatment another chance. He is very far along, no job, license, money, friends, etc. I want to insist he go to treatment once more, if he comes out and uses, so be it. Am I wrong? Because of his abuse, he acts young for his age. Thank you so much. I was about to throw him out, then saw how close to death he looked. He may not live here, but I am thinking a second chance at treatment, maybe a longer term, holisitic approach. When is it give up time if ever? Ps I do believe in miracles, but I am very alone . Dh is very caring, but busy, busy and away. Today was the worst day of my life, and I have had some bad days. Thanks again. n.
This is my first post. I have a son who I forced in to detox yesterday. He says he will never give up drugs and alcohol, that I should let him fall, but he is only 18 and I want him to give treatment another chance. He is very far along, no job, license, money, friends, etc. I want to insist he go to treatment once more, if he comes out and uses, so be it. Am I wrong? Because of his abuse, he acts young for his age. Thank you so much. I was about to throw him out, then saw how close to death he looked. He may not live here, but I am thinking a second chance at treatment, maybe a longer term, holisitic approach. When is it give up time if ever? Ps I do believe in miracles, but I am very alone . Dh is very caring, but busy, busy and away. Today was the worst day of my life, and I have had some bad days. Thanks again. n.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
hi norselass, and welcome to SR.
I'm very sorry to read your first post,
at the same time I wanted to let you know right away -
you're not alone.
Not any more.
Others will be here soon to welcome you to the forum,
I hope in the meantime you'll check out the 'stickies' at the top of the forum here,
and maybe even wander over to the alcoholism forum
and read the stickies there.
Not a single person
who posts here
began posting here
because their lives were going so great.
We're all in this together.
Again - welcome!
I'm very sorry to read your first post,
at the same time I wanted to let you know right away -
you're not alone.
Not any more.
Others will be here soon to welcome you to the forum,
I hope in the meantime you'll check out the 'stickies' at the top of the forum here,
and maybe even wander over to the alcoholism forum
and read the stickies there.
Not a single person
who posts here
began posting here
because their lives were going so great.
We're all in this together.
Again - welcome!
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Welcome -
I got my son to go to two short term treatments when he was 18 and 20. He returned to addiction soon after ea. treatment,
Two yrs. ago, at age 23, my son went into an excellent one-yr. addiction therapeutic rehab in AZ that is exclusively for young people ages 18-25. He then spent another 6 mos. in their after-care sober living program. He has been out now for 5 mos. after 18 mos. of treatment and he's remained sober.
He admits he did not fully grasp recovery until he'd been there 8 mos. and that the long-term program is what worked.
Although it is expensive, it saved my son's life.
I never enabled my son in addiction. However, I refused to watch him destroy himself and I did get him into treatment the times he was willing to go. He was unwilling to go ea. time w/o some coaxing. Before This last rehab, he had suffered the consequences of his addiction before he was willing to go treatment.
Do what you can to get between your child and drugs.
Go to al-anon to learn all you can about your role in this situation.
Know about detachment, enabling, co-dependence and your own recovery.
Be patient if necessary, have hope.
Research quality long-term programs.
I got my son to go to two short term treatments when he was 18 and 20. He returned to addiction soon after ea. treatment,
Two yrs. ago, at age 23, my son went into an excellent one-yr. addiction therapeutic rehab in AZ that is exclusively for young people ages 18-25. He then spent another 6 mos. in their after-care sober living program. He has been out now for 5 mos. after 18 mos. of treatment and he's remained sober.
He admits he did not fully grasp recovery until he'd been there 8 mos. and that the long-term program is what worked.
Although it is expensive, it saved my son's life.
I never enabled my son in addiction. However, I refused to watch him destroy himself and I did get him into treatment the times he was willing to go. He was unwilling to go ea. time w/o some coaxing. Before This last rehab, he had suffered the consequences of his addiction before he was willing to go treatment.
Do what you can to get between your child and drugs.
Go to al-anon to learn all you can about your role in this situation.
Know about detachment, enabling, co-dependence and your own recovery.
Be patient if necessary, have hope.
Research quality long-term programs.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11
Long term treatment for 18 - 25 yr olds Immediately
Hi
Thanks again for that information and encouragement. There are many long term facilities, but it is hard to know which one to choose. They will need to try to pursuade him to stay, since he is young, he feels he can do it on his own. He isn't in denial, knows he has a problem, just still wants to find a way to not give it all up. But of course he must. I have been to alanon, they are terrific and this site is like a loving friend....
He will need to be transfered day after tomorrow. So I am desperately seeking. I see Betty Ford has something now for 18 - 25, don't know about them but I love the idea of being outside, etc. You don't happen to know of other 18 - 25 centers do you ?
Again, huge thanks, really big hug.
NorseL.
Thanks again for that information and encouragement. There are many long term facilities, but it is hard to know which one to choose. They will need to try to pursuade him to stay, since he is young, he feels he can do it on his own. He isn't in denial, knows he has a problem, just still wants to find a way to not give it all up. But of course he must. I have been to alanon, they are terrific and this site is like a loving friend....
He will need to be transfered day after tomorrow. So I am desperately seeking. I see Betty Ford has something now for 18 - 25, don't know about them but I love the idea of being outside, etc. You don't happen to know of other 18 - 25 centers do you ?
Again, huge thanks, really big hug.
NorseL.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
I assume you can search on the internet and find way more options that you need.
I do know that they sometimes turn around WHILE in treatment, even if they went kicking and screaming, but I don't think that is the norm.
I think what really matters (in the turning around dept) is they are ready to give up the junk when their relationships and other things have been badly damaged. If he is not in pain the way things are now, what would be the motivation to quit?
"Spiritual" hit a key thing, I also believe, and that is long term. How do you unlearn so much, and then learn so much, in 30 days??
I do know that they sometimes turn around WHILE in treatment, even if they went kicking and screaming, but I don't think that is the norm.
I think what really matters (in the turning around dept) is they are ready to give up the junk when their relationships and other things have been badly damaged. If he is not in pain the way things are now, what would be the motivation to quit?
"Spiritual" hit a key thing, I also believe, and that is long term. How do you unlearn so much, and then learn so much, in 30 days??
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Good luck and you make decisions. May they be the right ones for your family.
The program I recommended I can recommend with complete satisfaction.
Several other family's from my area also sent a young adult child to this facility.
We all completely endorse this place. It is a well-rounded program with
multiple experience . The one yr. includes all of these parts: outdoor program, ranch program, main facility, off campus program, art therapy, mandatory school, yoga, work ethic, 12 step, individual and group therapy, family weeks. There is a 6 mo. after care program.
I found it more comprehensive, longer in duration and a much better bargain for the length of time than Betty Ford.
Rarely does a young addict goes w/o denial.
My son thought he would only stay for a month. But after he got to the facility he stayed for the duration, with a few bumps along the way.
My son was only given one option...go or live on the streets.
The program I recommended I can recommend with complete satisfaction.
Several other family's from my area also sent a young adult child to this facility.
We all completely endorse this place. It is a well-rounded program with
multiple experience . The one yr. includes all of these parts: outdoor program, ranch program, main facility, off campus program, art therapy, mandatory school, yoga, work ethic, 12 step, individual and group therapy, family weeks. There is a 6 mo. after care program.
I found it more comprehensive, longer in duration and a much better bargain for the length of time than Betty Ford.
Rarely does a young addict goes w/o denial.
My son thought he would only stay for a month. But after he got to the facility he stayed for the duration, with a few bumps along the way.
My son was only given one option...go or live on the streets.
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