EABF Stalking??
miyah
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 70
EABF Stalking??
I have been just over 30 days NC, have order of protection, he is out on bond.
Someone was in my yard ! I have a tall fence all around, so someone had to open the gate, and walk up to the porch to leave a little gift on the step.
This someone smoked the same brand of cigs as him, cause they left a fresh one by the gate.
As I investigated further, I found a muddy patch in the yard next door, (house has been vacant for months )right directly across form my LR window. Also boot prints leading up to this spot.
Spent part of yesterday with the deputy that investigates domestic violence, showed him everything and he genuinely seemed concerned, took what he could for evidence.
I was just starting to relax. Now I am freaked again. :wtf2
Someone was in my yard ! I have a tall fence all around, so someone had to open the gate, and walk up to the porch to leave a little gift on the step.
This someone smoked the same brand of cigs as him, cause they left a fresh one by the gate.
As I investigated further, I found a muddy patch in the yard next door, (house has been vacant for months )right directly across form my LR window. Also boot prints leading up to this spot.
Spent part of yesterday with the deputy that investigates domestic violence, showed him everything and he genuinely seemed concerned, took what he could for evidence.
I was just starting to relax. Now I am freaked again. :wtf2
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Well the great news is that a) you're not in denial about it and are doing what you can and b) the freaking cops are on your side and doing what they can as well.
I would hang a huge sign in your LR window that says, "smile, you're being video taped and streamed live to the sherifffs department!" or something to that effect.
The important thing is to NOT freak out, because that anxious energy will be projected.
Know that you're doing all you can and that you are safe. Even if you see him in your yard, call the cops asap, get your gun and tell yourself I AM SAFE.
I would hang a huge sign in your LR window that says, "smile, you're being video taped and streamed live to the sherifffs department!" or something to that effect.
The important thing is to NOT freak out, because that anxious energy will be projected.
Know that you're doing all you can and that you are safe. Even if you see him in your yard, call the cops asap, get your gun and tell yourself I AM SAFE.
miyah
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 70
[QUOTE=transformyself;2495161]
I would hang a huge sign in your LR window that says, "smile, you're being video taped and streamed live to the sherifffs department!" or something to that effect.
[QUOTE]
Hey I like that idea!!! Thanks for the support!
I would hang a huge sign in your LR window that says, "smile, you're being video taped and streamed live to the sherifffs department!" or something to that effect.
[QUOTE]
Hey I like that idea!!! Thanks for the support!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
from transform: I would hang a huge sign in your LR window that says, "smile, you're being video taped and streamed live to the sherifffs department!" or something to that effect.
transform that is brilliant!!
Stay safe Miyah. Glad you are taking it seriously and getting the sheriff involved etc. Do whatever it takes to stay safe!
peace-
b
transform that is brilliant!!
Stay safe Miyah. Glad you are taking it seriously and getting the sheriff involved etc. Do whatever it takes to stay safe!
peace-
b
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I loved the idea too...then I had second thoughts...that is communicating and with what I just read....he could take it as a challenge....to sneak around and get to you.
Can you go stay with a friend or something for a few days?
Can you go stay with a friend or something for a few days?
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Ugh. Live you probably know domestic violence theory better than I do, but what does that mean exactly. "communicating"?
My (unsolicited and most likely very un politically correct) recommendation is to wait for him, invite him in when you see him, shoot the b******, then call the cops and say he came in to kill you which would not be a lie. Get it over with.. How hard can that be? Guys like this don't go away. I've had friends murdered by psycho ex boyfriends. At least the sheriff is taking it seriously. That's good.
My (unsolicited and most likely very un politically correct) recommendation is to wait for him, invite him in when you see him, shoot the b******, then call the cops and say he came in to kill you which would not be a lie. Get it over with.. How hard can that be? Guys like this don't go away. I've had friends murdered by psycho ex boyfriends. At least the sheriff is taking it seriously. That's good.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
You're fortunate, miyah, that the police are taking this seriously.
When I came home (after being gone for 5 minutes) to find a photo of me smashed in my driveway by the person from whom I'd been separated for 2 YEARS, the deputy sent asked me:
"Are you sleeping with him?"
Me: (blinking) "Jesus, no."
Him: "Are you SURE?"
He then proceeded to tell me why I shouldn't have even wasted his time, because he knows of cases where the stalker told the victim exactly how he was going to kill them, etc. etc.
I filed a formal complaint against him with the county. Jerk.
Anyway. Bad memory there I guess (laughing) but Please, please, please be extra-vigilant. Always look all around you when entering or leaving the house. Put a lock on your back gate TODAY, and consider a brief, impersonal 3"x5" card saying that you will have him locked up in a heartbeat if he continues to violate the protective order. Ask the sheriff to contact and threaten him. And stay no-contact. Let the sheriff and an attorney do the talking for you, with no exceptions. Any contact is positive reinforcement for many of these guys.
When I came home (after being gone for 5 minutes) to find a photo of me smashed in my driveway by the person from whom I'd been separated for 2 YEARS, the deputy sent asked me:
"Are you sleeping with him?"
Me: (blinking) "Jesus, no."
Him: "Are you SURE?"
He then proceeded to tell me why I shouldn't have even wasted his time, because he knows of cases where the stalker told the victim exactly how he was going to kill them, etc. etc.
I filed a formal complaint against him with the county. Jerk.
Anyway. Bad memory there I guess (laughing) but Please, please, please be extra-vigilant. Always look all around you when entering or leaving the house. Put a lock on your back gate TODAY, and consider a brief, impersonal 3"x5" card saying that you will have him locked up in a heartbeat if he continues to violate the protective order. Ask the sheriff to contact and threaten him. And stay no-contact. Let the sheriff and an attorney do the talking for you, with no exceptions. Any contact is positive reinforcement for many of these guys.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I like the visit friends idea... although I know that only works in the movies.
And even then not all the time.
Once a stalker makes up his mind that they're above the law...
and that YOU are his property...
a woman moves into TRUE danger.
The world becomes a war zone.
Except it's HARDER than a 'designated war'
because nobody is dressed alike.
It's all right here in your front yard.
I remember.
Anything I can do to help?
And even then not all the time.
Once a stalker makes up his mind that they're above the law...
and that YOU are his property...
a woman moves into TRUE danger.
The world becomes a war zone.
Except it's HARDER than a 'designated war'
because nobody is dressed alike.
It's all right here in your front yard.
I remember.
Anything I can do to help?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi miyah-
i think light is a great deterant. light up your outside. light up the spot where you think he's watching, if possible. alert the neighbors and ask them to let you know if they see anyone. program police as fast dial on phone.
i think light is a great deterant. light up your outside. light up the spot where you think he's watching, if possible. alert the neighbors and ask them to let you know if they see anyone. program police as fast dial on phone.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
yes, be careful to not engage him or set him off. how about installing a video camera on the house pointed toward the back yard? he knows there's a protection order and that he's in jeopardy if he is seen there.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
What about a dog? Oh I also read if you got a car, keep the car alarm thingie at hand, (or the 2 of them or even see if you can get more) so if you see something like that just hit the panic button and the car will start making lots of noise... tell your neighbors if they hear it going on for more than a little while its you saw something suspicious... hard to ignore a sound like that anyway... then perhaps they can go out and visit you or call the police or take out their own dogs or something... I wish you weren't going through this...
Also its lucky you live over there and got police and orders of protection, good neighbors, technology etc, please use all those tools as many other women live in places where there are no means to protect them, dont even got a phone or money to buy a camera or dog or firearm, etc.
Self defense lessons and staying somewhere else ( or inviting trusted guests to stay over) are ideas I thought about. Ill keep you in my thoughts dear miyah.
Also its lucky you live over there and got police and orders of protection, good neighbors, technology etc, please use all those tools as many other women live in places where there are no means to protect them, dont even got a phone or money to buy a camera or dog or firearm, etc.
Self defense lessons and staying somewhere else ( or inviting trusted guests to stay over) are ideas I thought about. Ill keep you in my thoughts dear miyah.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Okay, then, do you have someone that can come stay with you?
I hate to be a nervous nelly, but there are ways to defeat all those systems if you really want to.
Do get that back gate really securely locked ASAP, please.
I hate to be a nervous nelly, but there are ways to defeat all those systems if you really want to.
Do get that back gate really securely locked ASAP, please.
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