nogard

I have been doing the same work since 1979 and until I relapsed, until then it was great, I wrote many books, worked on many games and loved my work, I was very passionate about it. I started a business in Australia and that went well too and then I relapsed and lost the business and I realise now I lost the passion for my work. I sold my services to the highest bidder and did soul destroying work and worked for companies I did not approve of.

Today I am having trouble doing any design or programming at all and I think its because of my association with the work I did when I was using. Consequently I dont get many job offers as putting out that kind of energy is not attractive and I really dont want to work for those giant coorporations anymore. So I have decided to look around for something completely new. Its an odd feeling as I am so identified with what I do for a living. I guess I will always keep my hand in, but time to mix it up for a while.

In recovery I can do anything as I need never do this alone. Thank you guys for showing me the doorway to freedom.

Kevin

Astro

I've been doing the same thing for so long that I don't know anything else, it's just a paycheck that pays the bills but it's not something I can take home, I just don't love it that much. I have a fear of the new and unknown, I'm afraid to do anything else.

It's posts like these that let me know that if something should happen and I have to stick my foot out and try something new, I won't be alone, there'll be others who've been there and can help me take it one day at a time.

Thanks for the great message Kevin.

Hevyn

I appreciate you sharing this too, Kev. I hope you'll be led to something that suits you and helps keep you happy. It takes courage to make changes like this - it could be an interesting adventure.

Anna

That's a great post Kevin!

I'm so glad you have the perspective to see how your old jobs affected you and to be able to venture forward. Good luck, and let us know what happens.

least

I pray that good things come your way.

vegibean

Kudos Kevin. For such obvious reasons (bartending, restaurant work) I have to change as well. I could stick to the same boring office work but that has no money in it.

I have recently started working as a Behavioral Tech/Resident Manager for a women's treatment center and it is rewarding. I also have started going back to school to get my BA. I'm so excited about the changes I'm making. It's still going to be some time to get there as I am also raising my 9 year old son at the same time but I know I'll have a wonderful and fulfilling future and am already reaping the rewards spiritually and emotionally.

Ceres

Recovery gave me many gifts. Number one probably loss of fear. I walked away from my career (which I hated, I just fell into it). Having this second chance at life and how important LIFE is. Wouldn't let me sit behind a desk any longer.

It dawned on me that what I wanted to be doing was more important to me then a paycheck. The things I wanted to do, didn't require one. I took that route. I dedicated myself to only volunteer work only for a year. I was an art teacher for the developmentally disabled, a camp counceler, a court appointed advocate for kids in fostercare, and an art mentor.

I am working today. A very awsome job from home pretty much working my own hours. <--- The good you do comes back to you. Of course I still do the volunteer work. Financially we are not well off, but I was still able to pull it off. Soooo, happy I did.

HumbleBee

Hello Kevin ~

It didn't happen overnight, but after some contemplation and soul-searching in my own recovery, I have recently "re-invented" myself based on this saying below...wishing the best for you as you pave your way in this much too short lifetime. I've never been happier than when I realized it's not how little I have, but how little I need.

Dee74

Wishing you the best Kev
D

Rusty Zipper

and freedom it is kevbro!

love ya!

nogard

(((Rusty)))

coffeenut

Making a life change like this is a positive thing, in my very humble opinion.

If you are strong enough to give up booze....just think what else you can accomplish.

Enjoy your adventure!

nogard

For many years I was very passionate about designing and creating software, it was a gift I bumped into one day and I knew at once that it was a gift and.

I stopped honoring that gift and me in my relapse and in my recovery and it is time to put that right.

Kevin

HumbleBee

Sounds like a definite calling to me...to be passionate about something and also actually be good at it is an awesome gift!

I'm passionate about music, but you really don't want to hear me sing.

It would be a shame to read a post from you in 5-10 years that said, "If only I had..." or "I wonder what would've happened if..." - there's a reason you're good at this, please don't shut the door and squander what could be a life changing opportunity.

There's no time like the present; that's why it's called a gift!

intention

"Don't die with your music still in you" - The second secret by Dr Wayne Dyer from 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace.

scaredykat

Thanks for sharing Kevin. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

yeahgr8

Kevin you have no idea how similar a situation i am in to you, not at the point to be able to make a decision like you have but it'll come...such a similar situation and we would be sitting in the same department if you get my meaning;-)

Loved your post Alizerin...i'm just going to trust God to guide me in all matters including this one...respect to you and Kevin, and wish you the best...

sunset2000

Hi Kevin,

I'm so glad you posted this. When I was drinking I thought is was the alcohol that had me paralyzed in self-doubt and procrastination. I've said in other posts how scared and frustrated I am that, as a filmmaker, I'm not actively completing the many projects that I started.

I question which came first? Did I lose my fearlessness, passion and desire and therefore started drinking, or did I take the easy way out when things got tough and slipped inside a bottle to hide?

Today is my ONE MONTH anniversary (yay!) and what I'm starting to think now is that, like most alcoholics, the drinking started because of internal issues, but then mushroomed into a much more damaging lifestyle. Which means there are still core issues that need to be addressed.

I used to wake up on some days and just not feel like doing anything, so I would appease myself by drinking and watching TV all day. Once I stopped drinking I thought those days would go away. But they haven't. I still wake up some days and just can't face the edit room. Either I'm not fully recovered yet, or this is just the way I am.

Either way, being sober now will hopefully help me figure that out and get past it. I'm not sure how good I am at what I do anymore, and have even lost a great deal of passion for it. But there is nothing else I want to do, so it's a quagmire. And furthermore, I still have some song in me and I also DO NOT want to be on this site five years from now still feeling this way and regretting not finishing these great projects.

Initially, I was taking sobriety one day at a time. But now I think I need to break my career down and try to do SOMETHING, even if it's just a little, in the edit room one day at a time. I wonder if the same process will work for accomplishing my career goals. Thoughts?

55438

Hi Nogard,

I see two things in your post. Integrity and adventure, what a great way to start something new.

55438

nogard

Thank (((55)))