Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

New Beginnings

Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving others and ourselves. Resentments do not punish the other person; they punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. They prevent us from being in harmony with the world. Resentments are hardened chunks of anger. They loosen up and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go.

Letting go of resentments does not mean we allow the other person to do anything to us that he or she wants. It means we accept what happened in the past, and we set boundaries for the future. We can let go of resentments and still have boundaries.

We try to see the good in the person or the good that ultimately evolved from whatever incident we feel resentful about. We try to see our part.

Then we put the incident to rest.

Praying for those we resent helps. Asking God to take our resentments from us helps too.

What better way to begin a New Year than by cleaning the slate of the past, and entering this one free of resentments.

Higher Power, help me become ready to let go of my resentments. Bring any resentment that is hidden within me, and blocking me, to the surface. Show me what I need to do to take care of my self by letting go of resentments, and then help me do that.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

I like to remember what I have heard here many times..."Holding resentments is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It hurts us, not them."

For me, the antidote to resentments was forgiveness. It was only then that I could move forward in my recovery.

Hugs

CatsPajamas

It was a bit more complicated for me- for awhile - as I really couldn't wrap myself around the idea of forgiving someone who had hurt me so much. I had to do this in small steps. First I had to work on acceptance of the situations. It was what it was. Then I had to identify my resentments, and then I had to become willing to let go of those resentments.

Forgiveness was a dicey thing for me. I did it, not to let the other person off the hook but rather to free myself of all of those resentments I was carrying.

Thanks for posting these, Ann. I might not always say thank you, but I always get something out of them!

eaglesgirl

It is always good to read this again and again...

Even though my RAH has 3 years and 1 week clean and in an active recovery program, I often find I will need to "check" myself when something that he had done in the past rears it's ugly head and we have to deal with it in the present...

Thank you for posting these readings Ann!

Spiritual Seeker

Resentments are really just a story that we want to keep retelling.

" learn to let go... " This is the motto I am focused on this year.
It can be applied in so many areas, especially resentments.

BayAreaPhoenix

For me, it was a hard concept to not forget what I had accepted and allowed in my life, and yet let go at the same time.

But, it is possible, and it sure makes me feel better to not continue to let XAH continue to influence and impact my current life! He already had 13+/- years - that's enough! I will never forget where I came from, but I have moved on and am happier for the things I have learned, and continue to learn, in my recovery.

Thanks Ann! I'm not posting much, but I'm reading still and I love these daily reflections!

jacksdaughter

Great post. I am just starting to learn this in my life. I have been living with some resentments for about 3 years now and it really affects you. Finally I'm letting go of them and taking care of me for the first time. And I have learned an important lesson somehow when you take care of yourself things seem to fall into the right place. Don't know why but I'm happy with it.

Ann

How true that has been in my own life, JD. It's almost scary how good life can be when we "live" our program and apply what we know to all areas of our life. Even the bad days are better when I stick to my recovery and apply what I "know" to what I "do".