major changes a going on...
major changes a going on...
Hello all, Rob D here. Quick synopsis. I have closed a restaurant that I have owned for two years. Like all of us, this economy took it's toll over the past year and a half. Coming from a alcoholic family, my drinking has always been border line but with the arsenal that I had to come into everyday and the pressures of business (or lack of), lets just say I partook over the past year. Marriage, gone; business, gone; girlfriend, gone. At 35 I am alone but not broken, yet I know this point, or very damn close to it, is rock bottom. The day I closed the restaurant was the last day I have drank. Though my will of not drinking is strong, I've started to hit meetings and plan on starting to work the steps, because like all of us alcoholics we are snake oil salesmen/women to ourselves. Simply put, I will find a way in a day, a week, a year (I don't know)to tell myself it will be ok to have a drink and then the race will be on.
At this point, I have found the pressure of closing the business, having my ex-girlfriend tell me that all she can see is me so drunk on the last day of business that I couldn't recognize her (this is a girl who just three days before devoted her love to me..now we dont even speak)...trying to find a job in this economy, and not drinking making it hard to sleep at night. Thanks to tylenol pm and books on ipod i barely make it through the night with a good 4 hours of sleep. I know this will improve, but it creates a fog during the day.
I know this is long and drawn out, but I'm here, committed and need conversation (please understand I live in a tourist ski town with 2500 people and our towns motto is a small town with a big drinking problem). to make it through this. My intent is sobriety for today. I am scared, and not afraid to admit it. Any insight, stories or just plain hellos are so welcome!
Sincerely,
Rob D
At this point, I have found the pressure of closing the business, having my ex-girlfriend tell me that all she can see is me so drunk on the last day of business that I couldn't recognize her (this is a girl who just three days before devoted her love to me..now we dont even speak)...trying to find a job in this economy, and not drinking making it hard to sleep at night. Thanks to tylenol pm and books on ipod i barely make it through the night with a good 4 hours of sleep. I know this will improve, but it creates a fog during the day.
I know this is long and drawn out, but I'm here, committed and need conversation (please understand I live in a tourist ski town with 2500 people and our towns motto is a small town with a big drinking problem). to make it through this. My intent is sobriety for today. I am scared, and not afraid to admit it. Any insight, stories or just plain hellos are so welcome!
Sincerely,
Rob D
Welcome... Alot of great support here. Just realize it's part of the business cycle. Don't let it effect you to the point of self destruction. Seems like you've
picked agreat bottom. Time to rebuild.
picked agreat bottom. Time to rebuild.
Welcome to the family! I love Lake Placid. I'm sorry you had to close the restaurant. It's a difficult business in any economy.
Overall, your post is very upbeat - I have great faith that you will be able to do this thing. Most of us are not as self aware, especially in the beginning. At your age I would never have seen what was coming down the road.
Wise of you to recognize that there will come that day when you'll tell yourself having a few will be ok. That's what kept me from getting well for many years. Always told myself it was just a matter of using willpower. Already being armed with the knowledge that you'll be tempted is going to be a great help to you. You seem to be doing everything right.
So glad you joined - let us know how it's going for you!
Overall, your post is very upbeat - I have great faith that you will be able to do this thing. Most of us are not as self aware, especially in the beginning. At your age I would never have seen what was coming down the road.
Wise of you to recognize that there will come that day when you'll tell yourself having a few will be ok. That's what kept me from getting well for many years. Always told myself it was just a matter of using willpower. Already being armed with the knowledge that you'll be tempted is going to be a great help to you. You seem to be doing everything right.
So glad you joined - let us know how it's going for you!
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome to SR Rob.
It sounds like you have a lot going on and all I can say is hang in there and focus on improving your future.
I know it is hard but you have to let the past go to move on.
I spent a lot of time wallowing and for you to quit the day your business closed shows a great deal of strength.
You are a stronger man than I ever was.
Good luck and I am glad that you are here.
It sounds like you have a lot going on and all I can say is hang in there and focus on improving your future.
I know it is hard but you have to let the past go to move on.
I spent a lot of time wallowing and for you to quit the day your business closed shows a great deal of strength.
You are a stronger man than I ever was.
Good luck and I am glad that you are here.
Hi Rob and welcome,
I am glad you have started to go to meetings. Use all the AA support you can around you right now in this difficult time.
Remember, this too shall pass.
I know it is difficult to see a way out right now but the steps truly can change your life. Keep in touch.
I am glad you have started to go to meetings. Use all the AA support you can around you right now in this difficult time.
Remember, this too shall pass.
I know it is difficult to see a way out right now but the steps truly can change your life. Keep in touch.
Rob, your story is similar to mine in terms of the extent of changes going on in your life. You obviously have found the strength that I have not, and I admire that. You're already half way there. Nice one.
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