Language of Letting Go - Jan. 14 - Accepting Anger
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - Jan. 14 - Accepting Anger
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Accepting Anger
Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way - or else repress it.
—Codependent No More
If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.
In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.
Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.
Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Accepting Anger
Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way - or else repress it.
—Codependent No More
If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.
In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.
Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.
Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
The difference between my anger today and my anger before recovery is that today I own my anger, it is valid and it is mine alone.
Before recovery my anger was often a "reaction" to something someone else did or said. It was a knee jerk response without thinking it through, and without trying to figure out WHY I was angry.
Today I allow myself to feel angry without guilt, and when I feel angry I take pause to think of why I am angry and sometimes the answer is very useful to me. Many times I feel anger because something inside has been triggered from days gone by, and I can remind myself I am no longer in the place I was then and I am safe today. I may be angry because something displeases me, and I can decide if what is making me angry has anything to do with me at all. Often it doesn't.
Today I can express my anger calmly, if that makes sense at all. I can express my anger and state why I feel the way I do and then let it go.
It's okay to be angry, it's just not healthy to let it eat us alive or hang out there very long.
Hugs
Before recovery my anger was often a "reaction" to something someone else did or said. It was a knee jerk response without thinking it through, and without trying to figure out WHY I was angry.
Today I allow myself to feel angry without guilt, and when I feel angry I take pause to think of why I am angry and sometimes the answer is very useful to me. Many times I feel anger because something inside has been triggered from days gone by, and I can remind myself I am no longer in the place I was then and I am safe today. I may be angry because something displeases me, and I can decide if what is making me angry has anything to do with me at all. Often it doesn't.
Today I can express my anger calmly, if that makes sense at all. I can express my anger and state why I feel the way I do and then let it go.
It's okay to be angry, it's just not healthy to let it eat us alive or hang out there very long.
Hugs
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