I need help asap, please.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Niles, Oh
Posts: 3
I need help asap, please.
Anyone that read my last post I'd just like to thank you for the support. I wish I could say I was doing better, but unfortunatly I'm not so good. This time it's my cousin. She has been doing drugs for some time and a few months ago my aunt ended up having to take her kids away and has temporary custody. She is trying to get permanant, but I don't think it's a good idea. They are two boys, 1 1/2 and 3 years old and all she does is yell at them constantly. Everytime we are on the phone with her she is yelling and calling them names. Is there anything I can do about this? I don't want those kids to grow up in a resembling matter in which I did. Also my aunt has plans to give my cousin money and jewelry. I know what my cousin will do with it but for some reason my aunt refuses to believe it and even continues to blame everyone else besides her daughter. My aunt plans to keep this a secret from her husband. Should I tell my uncle? I don't think my aunt should be doing any of this especially giving money to her daughter. I don't see how that will even contribute to helping her in any way. I reall need some advice right now. I don't know what to do and those kids are far more important than anything. Please help me. 
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
hi snowy, first, take a few deep breathes.
sorry to hear about your situation but glad you are here. i understand you want to help the kids, if you or other family members are not able to take care of them, you could contact social services to find out what might be your other options. addiction is very hard on kids as you know. as for you telling your uncle, i don't know, maybe i would hold off for now, he'll eventually find out for himself. the choice is yours though.
in my opinion, your aunt giving your cousin money or jewelry may not be a good idea and she may probably eventually use the money and jewelry for drugs but there is nothing you can do to stop either of them. your aunt will stop when she has had enough and so will your cousin. do what you can to find help for the kids especially since you seem to feel like they are in danger where they are and try to focus more on you.
have you gone to any alanon or naranon f2f support groups for family members? i don't have much advice but stick around, keep reading, others with more experience will be along shortly. i'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
sorry to hear about your situation but glad you are here. i understand you want to help the kids, if you or other family members are not able to take care of them, you could contact social services to find out what might be your other options. addiction is very hard on kids as you know. as for you telling your uncle, i don't know, maybe i would hold off for now, he'll eventually find out for himself. the choice is yours though.
in my opinion, your aunt giving your cousin money or jewelry may not be a good idea and she may probably eventually use the money and jewelry for drugs but there is nothing you can do to stop either of them. your aunt will stop when she has had enough and so will your cousin. do what you can to find help for the kids especially since you seem to feel like they are in danger where they are and try to focus more on you.
have you gone to any alanon or naranon f2f support groups for family members? i don't have much advice but stick around, keep reading, others with more experience will be along shortly. i'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
your aunt is not ready to face the facts about her daughter. anything u try to do to help her will just back fire in your face. the problem with the kids i would just stay every close to them & if it does not get better report it to social services. your aunt is probley under alot of stress. some one may have better ideas than me. welcome & keep coming back. let us know how u are.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Snowy, I've learned in my recovery that unless a situation has my name written all over it, it isn't mine to own.
Seeing people behaving badly or making bad choices may catch my attention, may annoy me or cause concern, but their lives and choices are not mine to control. Mostly I pray for them or help only if I am asked.
But I sure wish everyone had a recovery program, people like your aunt could sure learn from a program and grow, but, like me, most people don't reach out until they are on their knees exhausted and out of options.
Stick around, walk with us a while, and maybe it will help you see this all from a clearer, more hopeful perspective.
Hugs
Seeing people behaving badly or making bad choices may catch my attention, may annoy me or cause concern, but their lives and choices are not mine to control. Mostly I pray for them or help only if I am asked.
But I sure wish everyone had a recovery program, people like your aunt could sure learn from a program and grow, but, like me, most people don't reach out until they are on their knees exhausted and out of options.
Stick around, walk with us a while, and maybe it will help you see this all from a clearer, more hopeful perspective.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
snowy,
your aunt took the children for a reason. she may not yet be able to say the words, but she knows something is terribly wrong.
i guess i think that as members of society, if we see a child in danger, it is our place to contact the authorities. unfortunately, "name-calling" as dstructive as it is, is probably not cause enough to intervene. that doesn't mean, though, to not make the call.
i do agree with the others that speaking to your uncle is crossing a line where you do not belong.
your aunt took the children for a reason. she may not yet be able to say the words, but she knows something is terribly wrong.
i guess i think that as members of society, if we see a child in danger, it is our place to contact the authorities. unfortunately, "name-calling" as dstructive as it is, is probably not cause enough to intervene. that doesn't mean, though, to not make the call.
i do agree with the others that speaking to your uncle is crossing a line where you do not belong.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
If you'd like to approach your aunt with your concerns.... Your county/city will have at least one family and children service center. They'll be able to steer you toward some printed material about parenting and positive methods of communication. YMCA, United Way, Big Brothers and Sisters are a couple of more resources.
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