tigger11

My STBXAH posted this on his FB page yesterday:

"Thank for everybody's replies ... Sadly, an unabated fiend has left me in a world of hurt. I am still in the process of trying to recoup my life and get away from the courts."

Typo - probably drunk.

I cut/pasted it and sent it to my atty hoping that it can be considered a violation of the CIVIL order of protection.

Here's what happened for those who don't know or remember... I had a temporary OP which he violated by "not reading" it and not leaving my house. He was still there 24 hours after it was served. He spent a night in jail. Now he has a Class A Misdemeanor pending against him, which his atty hopes I will not press charges on.

Because he didn't actually "hit" me, and because he's not a citizen, but a resident alien and would get deported if he had a federal Order of Protection against him, the judge decided not to grant the permanent (federal) OP, but put a token civil OP on a document. This document is extremely clear that he is not to contact me in any way. This FB posting is clearly written about me. Unless of course he has other cases pending against him.

I hope hope hope it can be considered a violation of the civil OP. I rather doubt it. But I'm hugely hoping!

It is SO important to me that it is clear to everybody concerned that this man is potentially dangerous, even deadly. At this point it's being dismissed out of hand, and it frightens and frustrates me.

Anyway... love hugs to all!
Tigg

tjp613

...but he didn't contact you! ? So how is it a violation?

Kittyboo

I can understand your hope Tigger, but I don't understand how that would be any kind of violation either....
I would think he still has a right to speak his mind on a public forum...which he can actually control the privacy of, protected by the freedom of speech.
I could be wrong, I have been many times before

AWEDA

When you have a protection from abuse order they are not allowed to speak of you to a third party. That may be what tigger is getting at.

Live

yes, depends on the wording of the OP.

Tigger, shall I send the live mafia to take care of him?

((((((huggies))))))...(not Depends!) LOL

I will so some research today. Yesterday was too crazy...as has been the last week.

bookwyrm

Tigger sweetie, why are you looking at his FB pages? Isn't that just opening up a world of hurt?

tigger11

Book - I'm looking at his FB pages to catch him doing something stupid. He's done several stupid things on FB.

Yes, AWEDA. The "civil" OP states that he is not to communicate with me in any way. This post was clearly meant to be communicated to me, and nobody else, unless he has other things going on in court.

But as I said, I doubt that it'll be considered a violation. And... my atty hasn't gotten back to me on the question. She is SO frustrating!

This whole divorce thing is frustrating. If he were smart, he'd calmly and in a friendly fashion walk through this with me. He is so angry and thinks he'll get pleasure from hurting me in any way he can. So I'm trying any way I can to catching him doing something he shouldn't do to give myself an edge should we have to go to court.

I think he's trying to get this to go to court because he knows; 1) I don't have the $'s to pay all those atty fees, and 2) it'll give him pleasure to try to beat me to a pulp in front of a judge and several strangers in a courtroom.

I'm fighting... I dunno... depression. Not sure what it is, but so often lately I don't want to do anything but sit on my couch and read or play on my computer. I don't have TV... can't afford it... so that doesn't tempt me. Lately, I only do what I have to do.

Went to a counselor today. She was okay. Trained and experienced in counseling domestic violence victims. She'll probably be good, but as luck would have it, one session didn't fix all my problems.

bookwyrm

Tigger, you have been through so much upheaval, no wonder you're feeling unmotivated and a little blue. Let yourself recover emotionally and physically from all the stress you've been under and are still under. I had the same lack of motivation once I was finally in my own place. I'm only just starting to 'come round' and think 'now what'? Be kind to yourself and treat yourself well.

Check with your lawyer to see if anything he posts on Facebook would be admissable. You just might be hurting yourself for no reason!

:ghug3

tigger11

Thanks, Book. I forwarded a cut/paste of the FB post to my atty as soon as I found it. She has not responded. Part of my frustration is with the lawyer. My sister is a lawyer, though not in Family Practice. She's been trying to explain the legal aspects to me, and I have so much trouble accepting them. They don't encompass the emotional aspects. I just have to concede that I'll be shouldering half the debt that HE created, not me... I hate credit cards, as well as deal with half other things that he promised to handle. That's just how it works legally. I'm going to have lots of financial burdens here soon, and it'll be terribly difficult. Particularly frustrating since I know he can handle them and I can't. Oh well. That's the legal system for ya. Sigh.

suki44883

When I went through my divorce, I kept saying...It's not fair!! And it's not. There is no emotion in law. I had to be reminded that this was a HUGE deal for me, but for the courts, it's an everyday occurrence and of course, they don't have the time to get into the emotional aspects of each and every situation. Sometimes, you just have to accept that things are going to happen and rulings are going to be made that you don't like, but in time, the emotions will subside and it will be okay. I wish you much peace.

tigger11

Okay you guys. You're right. Sigh. I'll block him. I'll move forward with my health and wholeness and get out of his hula hoop . This is why I'm here every day. Tough to hear, but much appreciated. Thank you!

tigger11

There. Done. Ouch. But the kind of ouch that you feel after a good exercise session, knowing it'll make you stronger.

Live

Forever4You and Coffeedrinker best typified my experience.

I was going to phone you last night. sigh.
Today is good as well! Thanks for calling...please feel free anytime!
I love you!