Al Anon in a small town

Old 01-10-2010, 04:38 AM
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Question Al Anon in a small town

I usually travel to the nearest city, a 30 minute drive. I found out that there's a meeting in town, only 10 minutes away. With a baby that's much easier, however, I don't know if I want to go. Maybe I will know someone...you know how small towns are.

Anyone have good/bad experiences in this situation? I don't know how anonymous it will be.
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Old 01-10-2010, 05:24 AM
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I live in a city, with 1 million inhabitants, there are only 2 Al-anon meetings here, when I went to one I did know someone, someone I worked with [casually, she volunters to work for my boss] I didn't know her very well and in fact found her immensley challenging, I'm sure the feeling was mutual.

She never broke my confidentiality as far as I am aware, I never broke hers, after all we were both there for the same reason. We never spoke directly inside the meeting or outside, but I sensed a shift in compassion in both of our dealings with each other. I have a respect for her now that I didn't have before.

and the others were just lovely too. Warm and accepting, some mad as a box of frogs, just like me, unafraid to let the ugly feelings be shared and shine a light on them,
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Old 01-10-2010, 08:01 AM
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I've been going to AlAnon for about three months. I first went to the nearest large city and later found out about a meeting in my very small town and started going to it weekly. I had the same apprehension as you and it took every bit of courage that I could muster to actually get out of the car and go inside. As it turns out it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I did know someone there who I had worked with in the past and it was a non issue. I was driving 45 minutes until I found my local meeting which is 10 minutes away. It was a Godsend.

Good luck to you. Why not give it a try? You might be pleasantly surprised as I was.
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Old 01-10-2010, 08:09 AM
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Why would it be a problem if there were someone you knew there? I'm just curious.

Part of the damage done to me, while living with an alcoholic, was the isolation. I didn't want to discuss it with anyone, even my family. Secrets are not good.
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Old 01-10-2010, 08:37 AM
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It would depend on the person I suppose. I want to avoid gossip.
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Old 01-10-2010, 09:10 AM
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This is the suggested closing that is read at most meetings. Every meeting I've ever attended - in many different cities and states - its always the same:

In closing, I would like to say that the opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential.
Keep them within the “walls” of this room and the confines of your mind.
A few special words to those of you who haven’t been with us long; Whatever your problems, there are those among us who have had them too. If you try to keep an open mind, you will find help. You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened. We aren’t perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you.
After awhile, you’ll discover that though you may not like all of us, you’ll love us in a very special way – the same way we already love you.
Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time.


Anonymity is one of the basic principles. It's what allows us to learn and share and grow. I hope you're able to trust the process and attend whatever meeting offers you the most support.

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