My mother's voice.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester
Posts: 242
My mother's voice.
It is true to say that in my past lives I have had careers as a professional soldier, a senior police officer,(the alcoholism started about 5 years into that one) and a criminal; lawyer (per se), in my mid-fifties I also attended University where I graduated with a qualification that allowed me to teach in Higher, Further and Adult Education and for a short time I did just that.
In the 90's my life was hit by two ,'tsunamis' when betrayed, and I mean this quite seriously by my former wife and then my line manager, I lost absolutely everything but my son. After the second one, I didn't just ,'slip through the net' rather I was plunged inmto penury.
Throughout the last 14yrs of this tragedy, my mother assisted not only in supporting me but the third member of the cast, my alcoholism.
During my visits to her, usually through the transperent motive to once again obtain money for my 'drug of choice', she would often say,'You know Michael, one day all you've done will not be wasted.'
I used to think she was just being a mother offering hope to her long suffering,(at his own hands) son. Maybe one day I would magically restored to a highly paid position of responsibility that would attract all the benefits that accrued from it.
Mum passed away, on August 2nd last year , 10 days after, already in failing health she was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of brain cancer, I had been sober then since 15th, Feb.,2008.
I realise now, in reflective sobriety what she meant when she said those words, from a life full of,'experiential learning' including the years of alcoholism and all that it brings with it I now understand the true meaning of suffering and the compassion, for others and myself that follows it in recovery.
Compassion, is the cornerstone of my Christian beliefs and Buddhist principles, as the Dalai Lama says,'The three greatest spiritual values are compassion, patience and tolerance.'
As I type this thread I wonder then how much a part my mother played in my
spiritual experience and in my recovery. I can still hear her voice . . . . . ,
Mike W.
In the 90's my life was hit by two ,'tsunamis' when betrayed, and I mean this quite seriously by my former wife and then my line manager, I lost absolutely everything but my son. After the second one, I didn't just ,'slip through the net' rather I was plunged inmto penury.
Throughout the last 14yrs of this tragedy, my mother assisted not only in supporting me but the third member of the cast, my alcoholism.
During my visits to her, usually through the transperent motive to once again obtain money for my 'drug of choice', she would often say,'You know Michael, one day all you've done will not be wasted.'
I used to think she was just being a mother offering hope to her long suffering,(at his own hands) son. Maybe one day I would magically restored to a highly paid position of responsibility that would attract all the benefits that accrued from it.
Mum passed away, on August 2nd last year , 10 days after, already in failing health she was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of brain cancer, I had been sober then since 15th, Feb.,2008.
I realise now, in reflective sobriety what she meant when she said those words, from a life full of,'experiential learning' including the years of alcoholism and all that it brings with it I now understand the true meaning of suffering and the compassion, for others and myself that follows it in recovery.
Compassion, is the cornerstone of my Christian beliefs and Buddhist principles, as the Dalai Lama says,'The three greatest spiritual values are compassion, patience and tolerance.'
As I type this thread I wonder then how much a part my mother played in my
spiritual experience and in my recovery. I can still hear her voice . . . . . ,
Mike W.
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