Helping My Friend Cope
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1
Helping My Friend Cope
One of my best friends is having a hard time dealing with an alcoholic mother.
She has only recently started branching out and talking about her mother while her father does his best to sweep his wife's alcoholism under the carpet and is therefore ignorant of my friend's fear. My friend has started sneaking out to AA meetings, but is still very afraid.
I want do to all that I can to help her, but I feel like I'm only providing common phrases such as "take it one step at a time" that don't actually offer any comfort or practical advice. I also resort to awkwardly changing the subject to lighter and immature themes. I don't know how else to help her, and I feel inadequate because I feel that I should be able to help her more.
Please help me help my friend. I know that Rome wasn't built in a day, but I want to do anything and everything that I can to help her cope.
~Amicus
She has only recently started branching out and talking about her mother while her father does his best to sweep his wife's alcoholism under the carpet and is therefore ignorant of my friend's fear. My friend has started sneaking out to AA meetings, but is still very afraid.
I want do to all that I can to help her, but I feel like I'm only providing common phrases such as "take it one step at a time" that don't actually offer any comfort or practical advice. I also resort to awkwardly changing the subject to lighter and immature themes. I don't know how else to help her, and I feel inadequate because I feel that I should be able to help her more.
Please help me help my friend. I know that Rome wasn't built in a day, but I want to do anything and everything that I can to help her cope.
~Amicus
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
Hi Amicus and WELCOME to SR! What a dear friend you are to BE THERE for your friend, and to go so far as to search online and find this forum! You should be proud of yourself for having such a heart to help your friend.
There is lots of wisdom on this forum, many people who have "been there". There are sure to be people here to have run into your exact situation. Just keep coming back to see the responses to your query.
Meanwhile, my best suggestion is to suggest that your friend come to this forum herself. That way she can get first hand help, suggestions and support. Don't let that discourage you from coming here too.
HUGS to you for being such a wonderful friend!
Tigger
There is lots of wisdom on this forum, many people who have "been there". There are sure to be people here to have run into your exact situation. Just keep coming back to see the responses to your query.
Meanwhile, my best suggestion is to suggest that your friend come to this forum herself. That way she can get first hand help, suggestions and support. Don't let that discourage you from coming here too.
HUGS to you for being such a wonderful friend!
Tigger
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
Personally, I think the best way to help her cope is to be a friendly ear for her.
I don't know what more you can do other than that. It is her responsibility to find healthy ways to deal with her mother's alcoholism, and her families dynamics.
Sometimes when I am needing my friends, I don't need for them to fix anything, and they CAN'T fix anything, but I just need them to be there to listen when I need to talk. That's what friends do. JMHO.
Don't take on stress in your life that is not your stress. Just be a friend. JMHO
Good luck
I don't know what more you can do other than that. It is her responsibility to find healthy ways to deal with her mother's alcoholism, and her families dynamics.
Sometimes when I am needing my friends, I don't need for them to fix anything, and they CAN'T fix anything, but I just need them to be there to listen when I need to talk. That's what friends do. JMHO.
Don't take on stress in your life that is not your stress. Just be a friend. JMHO
Good luck
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