breakingfree88

Hello SR Family,
I have enjoyed reading everyone's posts each day and commenting when I feel that I have any ESH to share.
Now I need y'alls ESH desperately.

Over the past two weeks, I have really felt like Murphy's Law has come in to play at any available moment. (Anything that can go wrong...WILL).

One of my cats, Coby (who lives @ my parents' house & they let him be an inside/outside cat against my wishes) disappeared. I put up lots of posters offering a cash reward and no one has seen him for two weeks.

Someone broke into my Jeep the other night and the security system (lights/horn) wore down the battery after several hours. I never heard it inside my apartment w/ my space heater blasting.

So I got out there and the battery was dead. I went to the cops and told them I thought someone had broke in and they said unless something was missing for sure/damaged, there was nothing they could do.

My refrigerator died the other night and everything in it was destroyed. All my groceries.

Now to understand the next part, realize I got a check that was very much needed around xmas time. I deposited it, waited a few days to make sure it cleared, and then ordered all of my books on Amazon. Today, I went to check the balance of my checking (should've had several hundred in there) to finish buying my books.
I discovered I was $100 in the hole. WTF??

My fear is that someone stole a bank statement or something out of my Jeep and I didn't know (my car is mad messy) and has taken all my money. Do I have any rights? What do I do other than get a statement & talk to the bank in the morning? I'm terrified and angry.

So...I have all of this going on in my personal life. Maybe these things are altering how I am feeling about my ABF and his behavior/his recovery.
Maybe not.

He hasn't been calling his sponsor like he should. He has been very irritated and wanted to pick fights the past couple of weekends. He has been preoccupied with his online banking and transferring $ from acct. to acct.
Something just feels "Off".

My biggest clue (and this is weirrddd I know) is when something isn't right w/ current ABF...
I have idealized dreams about my ex.
I think its my subconscious making up things to comfort me. Making up happy things to dream about that don't exist in real life and never did.
I don't see how they're connected (my mind romanticizes someone I'm not with because my current ABF isn't giving me what I need emotionally?)
but there's a correlation. Everytime before, when it turned out he was using, I was having those dreams/missing my ex because of the dreams.

Anyway, I've asked him outright last night on the phone if he was using/wanting to use/talking to his druggie friends, etc. He says "no". But not very emphatically.

If someone thought I was using drugs and I wasn't, I would deny it vehemently. I'd be really offended. But then again, Thank God, I've never been an addict trying to recover. maybe you're taught not to flip out.

But honestly, would either way make me believe him any more? No.

Like he would ever be honest if he was using.
That sh!t doesn't happen and I know better.

So, with all that out of the way...do you think that everything bad happening around me is influencing my view of ABF?
Am I projecting some of my fear onto him...when its really about no $ and a missing babycat, etc.
Or is something else going on...something in my gut.

I welcome any and all feed back.
I feel like such a hot mess right now.

Thank you...

rayofsunshine

I was thinking this too... if he's been pre-occupied with his accounts... i would be afraid he may have been into yours. I had to take my checks and lock in my desk drawer at work to avoid this problem. If this happens to be the case, be sure to protect your other valuables. (your purse, jewelry, electronics, etc.) Because when they are this deep into their addiction, they will do things you never thought they would, to get $$ to continue in their addiction.

outtolunch

Oh Lordy...

I am sorry for all your misfortune. Sounds like some of this may have been just unfortunate consecutive clicks on the rotary of life. There is a reason why you are overdrawn. Please go to your banking institution, right now, and get to the bottom of this.

It sounds as though someone cashed some checks and/or was able to access your account, online or via ATM. The bank will work with you to get to the bottom of this. The bank will also most likely eventually credit your account for the funds unless it is determined that your own negligence contributed to this.

Interesting coincidence that your BF has been preoccupied with his own online banking at the same time that someone drained your account. Let the bank get to the bottom of this one. There may or may not be a connection.

teke

i agree, let the bank handle all of this, focus more on you, protect any other valuables, and watch his actions not his words. sorry about the cat, hope you find him or he finds you.

hope213

i am sorry all of things things have happen. it is awful. my prayers are with you. lock everything valuable up. do not trust your b.f. at all. i hope by now u have gone to the bank & talked to them. i hope u have gotten all of that behind you. take care of u & keep coming back here.

cmhcali

I thought the same things about the checks. My sister used to do that take the one from the back thinking noone would know. Call your bank immediately. They will get to th bottom of it. I think with a statement they could not walk in the bank and get money. Most banks ask for ID. I would think the only way to use it would be online. Protect your assets. I never keep money in my checking account just incase. Always in another account noone can touch but me. I can transfer. Good luck I will pray for you!

cherrie1

One thing I have learned is when you get that "feeling" it is usually right. In reading your post I would strongly suspect your boyfriend. Protect your stuff and you are right you will never get the truth out of an addict but for some reason we ask them anyway. Hoping I guess. Be ready to have the bank press charges is he did take the money. You have to, you do not want a relationship with this guy if he is doing that to you and lying about it.