I'm an idiot once again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
I'm an idiot once again
Doh. Double doh. I've let myself fall into another "kindness trap".
I had paid off all the bills owed to the cable/internet/phone company accumulated from my time with XAH. I was to disconnect the service from his apartment on December 31 2009, a full two months after I left, because he had asked me to leave it on for his son's sake (who, I must admit, uses the internet a lot for school work). Late December, XAH asks me to leave it on for another month until he can save up the 200$ deposit it'll cost him to open up a new account (sux to have bad credit, don't it?).
Stupid me, I decide to go ahead and do it. I tell him it'll cost 132.50 for the month and he says Ok, No Problem. I'll email you a money transfer. The bill comes. I ask him for the cash (this is after his big argument with me on Sunday).
He texts to say "Since I've been screwed by the government for the support payments I receive for K (stepson) because of something YOU did with A (daughter)'s forms, you'd better shut it off so K and I can still eat."
Bring in the violins, he's a martyr. FTR, I haven't done anything regarding the government yet, because I have to wait 90 days for our separation to take effect.
I tried to be "nice", thinking of my stepson's end of semester exams and projects this week, thinking he'd need the internet (I can't dissociate the three services--cable, internet and phone because I was under contract), and this is what I got. Now I have to pay the bill AND feel like an idiot.
I had paid off all the bills owed to the cable/internet/phone company accumulated from my time with XAH. I was to disconnect the service from his apartment on December 31 2009, a full two months after I left, because he had asked me to leave it on for his son's sake (who, I must admit, uses the internet a lot for school work). Late December, XAH asks me to leave it on for another month until he can save up the 200$ deposit it'll cost him to open up a new account (sux to have bad credit, don't it?).
Stupid me, I decide to go ahead and do it. I tell him it'll cost 132.50 for the month and he says Ok, No Problem. I'll email you a money transfer. The bill comes. I ask him for the cash (this is after his big argument with me on Sunday).
He texts to say "Since I've been screwed by the government for the support payments I receive for K (stepson) because of something YOU did with A (daughter)'s forms, you'd better shut it off so K and I can still eat."
Bring in the violins, he's a martyr. FTR, I haven't done anything regarding the government yet, because I have to wait 90 days for our separation to take effect. I tried to be "nice", thinking of my stepson's end of semester exams and projects this week, thinking he'd need the internet (I can't dissociate the three services--cable, internet and phone because I was under contract), and this is what I got. Now I have to pay the bill AND feel like an idiot.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,872
Yeah, it's always someone elses fault, isn't it?
Don't feel like a fool. You tried to do something nice for his son and he turned it around to make it a bad thing. You have nothing to feel foolish about.
Don't feel like a fool. You tried to do something nice for his son and he turned it around to make it a bad thing. You have nothing to feel foolish about.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I agree with suki!
You did what you did for the child out of love. His twisting it into something you are somehow taking away is alcoholic rubbish.
I suspect he will either come up with the money or he'll find some other way to keep the services on his own and that will be he next hardship tale (that he has to dish out the money now out of your heartlessness).
Honey, in his mind it will always be someone else's doing. Whether it's you, the government, the Easter bunny, makes no difference.
If the subject comes up from him that the child can't do his homework or is struggling without the internet, which he may do to garner sympathy and get more from you...remind him that schools and public libraries offer internet access free of charge. I went years without internet access because of my XABF, and I made regular use of their services for job hunting. I would do all my resume and letter writing at home on my computer and save things to disk then grab them quickly off the disk on the library's or school's computers to save time.
I'm sure the boy has friends with internet access that he can use for school as well.
Alice
You did what you did for the child out of love. His twisting it into something you are somehow taking away is alcoholic rubbish.
I suspect he will either come up with the money or he'll find some other way to keep the services on his own and that will be he next hardship tale (that he has to dish out the money now out of your heartlessness).
Honey, in his mind it will always be someone else's doing. Whether it's you, the government, the Easter bunny, makes no difference.
If the subject comes up from him that the child can't do his homework or is struggling without the internet, which he may do to garner sympathy and get more from you...remind him that schools and public libraries offer internet access free of charge. I went years without internet access because of my XABF, and I made regular use of their services for job hunting. I would do all my resume and letter writing at home on my computer and save things to disk then grab them quickly off the disk on the library's or school's computers to save time.
I'm sure the boy has friends with internet access that he can use for school as well.
Alice
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Noday,
Shame on you for wanting to believe the best in people
So...
Sounds like you'd better, then. You tried, it didn't "take," more whining ensued, oh well.
Stop calling yourself names. You're doing your best. :ghug3
Shame on you for wanting to believe the best in people
So...
He texts to say "Since I've been screwed by the government for the support payments I receive for K (stepson) because of something YOU did with A (daughter)'s forms, you'd better shut it off so K and I can still eat."
Stop calling yourself names. You're doing your best. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Do as He asked: cut off the internet and if he quacks remind him that HE said to do so. Tell him the places his son can get access for free and LEAVE IT TO MR BIGSHOT TO SORT OUT.
Remember he is not only a quacker, he is also quackers, and to remind you I add this pic.
God bless
Remember he is not only a quacker, he is also quackers, and to remind you I add this pic.
God bless
Last edited by Jadmack25; 01-07-2010 at 09:47 AM. Reason: image update
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
jadmack - i totally get that this pic makes lots of folks happy and I am more than willing to skip over it, but from an animal rights/vegetarian point of view, I find the plucked duck very disturbing and sad. It is a funny tool, but ducks are actual beings. I equate it to a skinned human in a funny pose. More disturbing than funny.
Again, I am not asking for you to stop posting it, just wanted to put another perspective out there.
Hugs
Wife
Again, I am not asking for you to stop posting it, just wanted to put another perspective out there.
Hugs
Wife
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Minor update
So, I paid the bill and cancelled the service as of today. I imagine that he'll be calling me in a rage tonight because he can't watch tv or stream some tv show, but he *did* tell me to shut it off so 2he and his son could eat" (do I hear violins playing?).
And since the bill is for the current month and I shut down the service at the beginning of the month, I'll get the money back from the company in a few months.
And since the bill is for the current month and I shut down the service at the beginning of the month, I'll get the money back from the company in a few months.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 93
Save those texts! I actually prefer when AH sends me a text...I then forward it to my e-mail account. You can then prove to him you did exactly as he asked as well as provide documentation for future legal visits AND remind yourself why you left in the first place (as if you needed reminding).
Don't be so hard on yourself otherwise. You're not an idiot, you're a good person. Kind hearted people always find room for forgiveness and unfortunately get screwed sometimes.
Don't be so hard on yourself otherwise. You're not an idiot, you're a good person. Kind hearted people always find room for forgiveness and unfortunately get screwed sometimes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
You're doing great NDB2D!
Ives - it's what we call here; "walking on egg shells". Problem is, you can walk all day/week/month/year/decade on egg shells, and they're still going to find a way to blame us, beat us up, twist what we say, feel sorry for themselves, etc. It sucks, but it's the way it is. And yes, we get/got tired of it. That's why so many of us have gotten out, even though we tried hard not to. I'm so sorry you have to walk the egg shell walk, Ives!
Tigg
Ives - it's what we call here; "walking on egg shells". Problem is, you can walk all day/week/month/year/decade on egg shells, and they're still going to find a way to blame us, beat us up, twist what we say, feel sorry for themselves, etc. It sucks, but it's the way it is. And yes, we get/got tired of it. That's why so many of us have gotten out, even though we tried hard not to. I'm so sorry you have to walk the egg shell walk, Ives!
Tigg
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