Home De-tox Hell
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Home De-tox Hell
I read a fair number of posts in the Alcohol forum about detoxing at home. All receive good advice re the dangers etc of doing this without supervision and support, but they don't say what the dangers, stresses and strains are for the carer.
I posted some of the following in a thread regarding home detox and thought I would put it here also, as after all it is my view as partner of the detoxing A, and may be others can comment re their views.
I can tell you what it is like from my position as the "spectator" at my abf's many home detox efforts.
Terrifying, nerve wracking, gut churning, mind blowing, heart wrenching, exhausting and bloody horrible are just some of the words that still do not adequately describe it.
Watching someone I love, spend days spewing his heart out, using a jug to pee in because his legs won't work, sweat pouring from his whole body, arms and legs either flying all over the place or cramping so badly he cries out from the pain..... is utter HELL.
When that funtime is over, comes the sight of an emaciated and very smelly man slowly walking to have a shower, where I have to wash him because he is too weak to do it himself. He seems to have aged 20 years in a couple of days, and so have I.
I change the bed linen for the umpteenth time and start on the mountain of stinky sheets to be washed. I spend the next 24 hours helping him eat again, take vitamins and drink fluids, and he wants me with him every minute as if I am all that stands between him and something he's afraid of.
I haven't slept for nearly 4 days, feel totally exhausted and my brain is addled, but I keep going somehow.
Finally it is over, and he falls asleep and for the next 24 hours he does little else.
Then comes the silent stage where I may as well be on another planet, because he doesn't speak to me other than to get him coffee or something to eat. At least now I can hit my bed and sleep at long last.
The last stage is the nitpicky one, where nothing I do, say or wear is right. I begin to feel as if I am responsible for mankind's errors, global warming and the swine flu.
This is when I explode and head off home before I murder him.
After years of this repeated nightmare, I end up with stress angina and finally a heart attack.
Now I have kept my word and last time he drank (for 1 day), I stayed away from him and when he rang me for help with his home-alone detox I called an ambulance. Lucky I did as he had 7 angina attacks whilst in the ambulance and at the hospital.
Home detox is no fun for the person going thru it, and it can be and has proved fatal many times in the past. It is also no barrel load of laughs for the carer either, and I often wonder how many of them have health problems from being involved.
I wish all those going thru detox a safe time and a healthy sober new life.
I might add that I normally felt anger when it was all over. Anger at him for being so damn weak and stupid to go thru this hell yet again. Anger at me for the same reason. Anger at this damned condition of addiction for all the misery and death it causes.
I do know that I will NOT be around for any repeat performances and will do as last time if he breaks out drinking then stops....call an ambulance, go NC and keep out of the rotten chaos.
God bless
I posted some of the following in a thread regarding home detox and thought I would put it here also, as after all it is my view as partner of the detoxing A, and may be others can comment re their views.
I can tell you what it is like from my position as the "spectator" at my abf's many home detox efforts.
Terrifying, nerve wracking, gut churning, mind blowing, heart wrenching, exhausting and bloody horrible are just some of the words that still do not adequately describe it.
Watching someone I love, spend days spewing his heart out, using a jug to pee in because his legs won't work, sweat pouring from his whole body, arms and legs either flying all over the place or cramping so badly he cries out from the pain..... is utter HELL.
When that funtime is over, comes the sight of an emaciated and very smelly man slowly walking to have a shower, where I have to wash him because he is too weak to do it himself. He seems to have aged 20 years in a couple of days, and so have I.
I change the bed linen for the umpteenth time and start on the mountain of stinky sheets to be washed. I spend the next 24 hours helping him eat again, take vitamins and drink fluids, and he wants me with him every minute as if I am all that stands between him and something he's afraid of.
I haven't slept for nearly 4 days, feel totally exhausted and my brain is addled, but I keep going somehow.
Finally it is over, and he falls asleep and for the next 24 hours he does little else.
Then comes the silent stage where I may as well be on another planet, because he doesn't speak to me other than to get him coffee or something to eat. At least now I can hit my bed and sleep at long last.
The last stage is the nitpicky one, where nothing I do, say or wear is right. I begin to feel as if I am responsible for mankind's errors, global warming and the swine flu.
This is when I explode and head off home before I murder him.
After years of this repeated nightmare, I end up with stress angina and finally a heart attack.
Now I have kept my word and last time he drank (for 1 day), I stayed away from him and when he rang me for help with his home-alone detox I called an ambulance. Lucky I did as he had 7 angina attacks whilst in the ambulance and at the hospital.
Home detox is no fun for the person going thru it, and it can be and has proved fatal many times in the past. It is also no barrel load of laughs for the carer either, and I often wonder how many of them have health problems from being involved.
I wish all those going thru detox a safe time and a healthy sober new life.
I might add that I normally felt anger when it was all over. Anger at him for being so damn weak and stupid to go thru this hell yet again. Anger at me for the same reason. Anger at this damned condition of addiction for all the misery and death it causes.
I do know that I will NOT be around for any repeat performances and will do as last time if he breaks out drinking then stops....call an ambulance, go NC and keep out of the rotten chaos.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 133
Wow, you just wrote about my life. I have home-detoxed him countless times, and because I'm in the medical profession, he felt better having me there. I would dole out medication at appropriate times, take heart rate, respiratory rate, check blood pressure, force fluids, change the stinky sheets, wash his face, feed him, etc.....yes, it's exhausting, and ****, it just plain sucks. This thread was really an eye opener. I really, truly cannot believe how many times I've been through this, and each time is worse than the one before, and takes much longer. Lord, save me from myself. I don't want to do this again, not to mention driving him to rehab, bringing out smokes, cleaning the house, taking care of his bills...you all know the story. Thanks for the reminder!
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
I've changed sheets multiple times a night, changed his bed clothes, mounds of laundry to do every day. I thought it was from him being so sick though, not from detoxing. Could have been I suppose.
But all that is in the distant past, the only thing I did was spend his money and treat him disrespectfully.
But all that is in the distant past, the only thing I did was spend his money and treat him disrespectfully.
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