stopbingeing

Hi there,
I was a member here over a year ago. I made it almost 6 months sober, but, you know the story. Stopped visiting the web site, stopped posting/reading posts, then picked up the wine bottle, thinking that maybe after all this time I could learn to be a social drinker! haha. well, trouble with that was, I could have just one or two. For a few social occasions. But then, inevitably, like the tide, I binged again with friends. Drank an incomprehensible amount of red wine, and the next day was sicker than ever before in memory. Then I quit (again,sigh) and made it a couple of months. Now here I am, hungover, wishing I wasn't, and knowing that it is going to take a lot of work, commitment, and conviction to quit.

Would like to start a bingeing thread if others are interested. For me, drinking was never a daily thing, but more of a "weekend warrior", beginning at a very early age (approx 13-14). Now it is maybe every other weekend that I will binge. I want desperately to stop.

thank you everyone.

Introvrtd1

Hey SB,

There is a lot of support here for you. Im certainly in no position to tell you how, why or when to quit.

Simply, sobriety and a good nite's sleep feels so much better to me than dealing with all the withdrawals.

Hang in there......

Intro

Dee74

Hi stopbingeing

Well, I started as an binger, but I eventually ended up all day everyday drinking.

I know there are many others here who have similar stories to you though - I'm sure they'll drop in and post - there's a lot of support here

Welcome to SR
D

NEOMARXIST

Former Binge-drinker here too!! If I could get them I would also binge on drugs as well as drink but I am an alcoholic. An out and out binge-drinker. Drink untill passout everytime and to not do so would be a waste of a chance to do so. I cannot explain why I am like that other than I like it too much and am hopelessly addicted once my mind registers alcohol.

I have to make the decision to not take that first drink on a daily basis and make that my priority in life at the moment whils't I rebuild my life back up to what it should be at.
My binge drinking started to morph into daily drinking around the clock over binges of 2-3 days so I could see how it would eventually end up 24/7 homeless or dead/prison.

get out while you still can and try to embrace sobriety. You've done it before so can do it again and at least now you know that it will always end in tears and heartbreak once you are 'back in the drinking game'. Opt out on a daily basis.

All the best and thanks for posting.

gndrdo14

I am a binge drinker. For me, there is a binge in every bottle, and although I know I should not, I kept bringing the bottles home. I would set up rules for myself, like not drinking before a work day or only having so many drinks (which I would stick to yet increase the liquor content). At drink number four, my mind would scream at me to stop since I know that after four, I am not stopping until it (the bottle) is done. This is regardless of knowing how terrible I am going to feel the next day, or remembering the consequences of my actions from previous binges. This is also in spite of knowing that I will most likely not recall what terrible things I did while drinking. A few days/weeks (it has been a while since I did not have alcohol in months) after the binge, I stop feeling so remorseful and guilty, and start all over again. It is a self-destructive cycle that will only continue to progress if I do not stop.

I absolutely have no idea why some can have a drink here or there, but I feel the need to finish what I start. I feel the same way about food (dessert is gone in a day) and money (like to run up the credit). For me, most everything is all or none.

I have been reading the posts all day today and have found many others who think like I do: Maybe this time I will be able to drink like a "normal" person. For a few days, yes, but ultimately, no.

Anna

I used to binge drink too, but like Dee, it eventually became an every day thing. I had absolutely no control once I started drinking. And, that was a really hard thing to accept.

I'm glad you are seeking support!

Shifty

Ditto.

I started as a binge drinker too. Trouble was that as my tollerance increased so did the drinking. Somewhere down the road the line gets blurred, I guess I still binged in the respect that I drank a load more on the weekend than I did in the week but I was still looking for the same buzz, so it's all relative.

If you're brutally honest with yourself, could you sit down right now infront of the bottle of your choice and say that you would be whole heartly satisfied with just one normal size glass? I could not and thats the truth, and I know if I keep asking the same question of myself and get the same answer back without ego or justification, then I know I cannot pick up that drink. Would your anwer be the same?

MeAndOnlyMe

Yay! Another wino in the northeastern part of the US - now I have some company. Not to make light of your situation, stopbinging, but I'm really new to actually putting some effort into sobriety (not drinking - I'm really good at that) and every message I've read over the past few months where someone fell off the wagon after a month or six or twelve leaves me in awe. I read these message about a month of sobriety or longer and I want to be just like all of you.

I'm sure it is really depressing that you're back to day one but I hope you (and everyone else who bothers to try, falls and gets back up) can take a tiny bit of comfort in knowing that you're actually an inspiration for me just starting down the road. Choose your own inspiration and feel secure in knowing that at least one other person has chosen you and everyone like you.

HumbleBee

Chalk up another binger here...I never met a bottle I didn't like at the end.

Like Shifty, years ago I had a really high tolerance level.

As time went on and it started catching up with me, I played all the games...drink only on weekends, then never before 5pm, then only drinking beer, then only wine, yada yada yada...it wasn't long before I was drinking day and night, rain or shine.

The arsenal of tools I built up in early recovery (meetings, counseling, phone numbers, sponsor, reading, staying connected with sober people) still help to keep me on a sober path, but none so much as recalling my last days of hangovers so bad that I was praying to die.

I never, ever want to go back there and one drink is all it would take because for me, one is too much and 100 isn't enough.

Take care and stay connected ~
HBee

BoyRacer

I'm a binge drinker, and an alkie bum, and have been out of shape for over a year now and now have recognizable physical withdrawal symptoms, which---low, and behold---get worse when I stop drinking for any extended period of time. I have also been steaming my brains with anti-depressants, too many books and a job I hate for probably...three years too many, now...

I am out on the wire, and not sure how in the hell, precisely, I am going to get back, without much labor-intensive work, which will make me even stranger, undoubtedly, than drinking ever did.

I have not gone more than...3 weeks without a pop in over 5 years...and usually no more than 5 days. I can feel the fecking thirst on the inside surfaces of my molars on some days after a particularly humdrum day of grueling "who gives a shite" in the cosmic sense at my idiotic job where rich folk move their useless money around so they can buy more crap they do not need. I do more than binge drink and hate myself for it, I hate myself with ever fiber of my being, I absolutely abhor my very existence, and I will NEVER begin to even understand that until I cease.

This stupid world and my own uselessness in it (or, what I once perceived this to be) makes me very, very, very angry, and I have used alcohol as an excuse to not take any responsibility for it, or my place in it.

Essentially, binge drinking has given me the luxury of being a big useless teenager far past my expiration; I have pickled myself, my life, my belief system...and my expectations in the stuff.

But, I am here, and I am trying, trying to get well...it may end up being a lifetime of work, or, a minor preoccupation....just a bit maudlin since I erred and screwed myself up on NYs....

sunshinebaby

Yep, aussie binge drinking girl here! I can go for days or weeks without drinking then I just can't stop at one. I need 3 or 4 or 5 in a night. If I could just have one glass of wine while cooking dinner I would be fine, but once I start I don't stop. Welcome!!!!!

lionheart

*puts hand up* me too although i started to drink more during the week over the last 5 or 6 years but still mostly binge drinker.

JockLarcher

I actually enjoy the feeling of wellbeing that grows as I recover from a binge.
But, indeed the dull sickness that stymies the day up to that point: the wondering guilt - what did I do? what did I say?
Looking at the faces of loved ones - in what way did I hurt them last night?
Why do I binge? Boredom and anger. I no longer like alcohol itself at all.

NightStalker

Count me in!

Lionne

Well, let me join the club then, for me, it always were binges, most times on the weekends, and not on all the weekends. I was a social binge drinker for most of the time.

Right from the start, at my first contact with alcohol as a teenager, I had a higher tolerance than other people. Argh, ther were even times where I took pride in the fact that as a girl, I could drink most guys under the table,and still seem to be relatively coherent. Many people didn't even realize how much I was drinking.

For some time, I could go for extended periods of time with no alcohol at all, but if I'm honest to myself, deep down I already knew that there was something "off" about my drinking patterns. But the problem is, over time things tend to get worse for manybinge drinkers, and that's exactly what happened:

Towards the end of my drinking career, it were more like 3 nightly binges a week, and quantities like 8-15 alcohol units. I drank alone, at home, at that point and was depressed, full of anxiety and remorse and self depreciation.

I now knew I had a problem and the only way to get better was to quit consuming alcohol alltogether and to adress the underlying issues that I was numbing out trough drinking.

NEOMARXIST

Good post littlestranger. I can relate to your post and I was very similar in many ways. I was very obsessive about amount of units in drinks and my staple was about 22 units in a binge or about 10 500ML cans of 5% Lager or equivalent of the recomended weekly alcohol units for a male in a week! I remeber a drinks diary I composed once for my drink-driving course and I was in second place with about 75 units in a week ie - 3 binges. If I was doing Coke and pills the amount I could drink was pretty much continual 30+ in a binge as the Stims used to keep me awake and then just binge through 2 days solid. Man them comedown/hangovers were rough, Really used to put my body through the ringer!!

Shifty

Thanks NEOMARXIST, you have just reminded me of a situation I experienced on a drink and coke binge about 10 years ago. I'd almost forgoten about it as it's one of many but I'm glad you reminded me, feels like another 'string to my bow' for sobriety.

humblestudent

Stopbingeing, I too am a total binge drinker. From the start of my drinking career, I always just loved to get totally hammered. I never understood "social" drinking, because I always thought, "Why would you only ever want ONE? What's the point?"

I drank every Friday and Saturday night for at least 10 years straight, with a period of a couple of years with the intermittent work week happy hour thrown in. I could never control what I drank once I started. Didn't want to. There might be a glimmer somewhere of a decision, somewhere around 4-5 drinks of 2.25 shots each where I'd say, "Ah, what the heck! This is so fun!" That would usually be my last conscious thought. The past 2-3 yrs. I've drank to either black out or pass out every single weekend, usually both nights, but sometimes only one.

Once I woke up with my head hanging down off the couch. It occurred to me that if I had thrown up, I would've absolutely choked to death. I played all the games the past few years too...watching the clock like a hawk before having the first one, then trying to time my drinks. One an hour, which turned into 1 every 40 minutes, which turned in to 1 every 20-30 minutes which turned into god knows what.

Over time, over a period of years, I'd say it's gotten worse. No matter what I decide at the outset of the evening, it's practically impossible for me to just even get drunk. Oh no, me? I have to drink it ALL. I have to pass out, black out.

I for one am glad to meet so many others with my pattern. I've only been stopped for 9 days (one weekend, which is the real test/trigger for me), and already in the back of my head I'm thinking, "Well, maybe by the summer time, I can maybe drink just a few?" I know in my heart of hearts that I can't. But that not so unconscious wish is there.

NEOMARXIST

No Worries Shifty!

Keep it real and free of bullsh*t. That's how I liked it in my drinking and drugging days and thats how I like it in my recovery days.



Increase The Peace

ClosetExtrovert

I binged. First weekends and then Daily.