Forgiveness meditation
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Forgiveness meditation
Days ago I did a meditation...... in it, you breathe, slower and slower.... then start imagining you are walking on a safe place of your choosing. Walking, walking.... surrounded by love and peace and walking with your HP/angel/God/you get the idea- towards a quiet place with two chairs.
You imagine arriving there, sitting down. Then you need to remember instances where this person hurt you... take all your time. After you contact this hurt you imagine the person you resent.... walking towards you in expectation. Let it be as vivid as possible, the way he walked... the clothes... the face features... Imagine him sitting down on the other chair. Looking at your eyes.
Tell him all you need to say (out loud if possible). Keep breathing deep.
After you finish... allow silence and a message may come to you from him... be open to it. Some words or feelings or a facial expression.The more graphic and detailed the visualization, the better.
After he is done, ask forgiveness even if you don't feel like it. Let him ask forgiveness to you. Know there is peace between you two, that both of you needed this encounter in order to grow.
Imagine how he stands up, stares at you with a wiser glance than you remember... and walks away. Let him go away.
Then stand up, walk away to a different area... imagine a light from afar... walk towards it... it is a fireplace. Imagine all those harmful experiences you remembered, are pictures on paper... and throw them to the fire one by one. See how they no longer exist.. how they disappear... and you are free.
Walk back again to where you started becoming aware of your surroundings taking all the time you need.
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Well I did this meditation during new year, cried my heart out but it felt very healing.
Starting to allow the other to "reply"... XABF took both of my hands and I heard him say "forgive me" welling up in tears. This is what I needed to "hear" for my own closure...acknowledgment of the harm done.
It is wonderful because these days my thoughts wander towards him... but the ache in my heart is less.
This exercise helped me see he is a human suffering and making mistakes just like me.
Thought it may help someone... of course if you got a counselor to facilitate this, its better, if you are new to this process...
Inner work rules!!
You imagine arriving there, sitting down. Then you need to remember instances where this person hurt you... take all your time. After you contact this hurt you imagine the person you resent.... walking towards you in expectation. Let it be as vivid as possible, the way he walked... the clothes... the face features... Imagine him sitting down on the other chair. Looking at your eyes.
Tell him all you need to say (out loud if possible). Keep breathing deep.
After you finish... allow silence and a message may come to you from him... be open to it. Some words or feelings or a facial expression.The more graphic and detailed the visualization, the better.
After he is done, ask forgiveness even if you don't feel like it. Let him ask forgiveness to you. Know there is peace between you two, that both of you needed this encounter in order to grow.
Imagine how he stands up, stares at you with a wiser glance than you remember... and walks away. Let him go away.
Then stand up, walk away to a different area... imagine a light from afar... walk towards it... it is a fireplace. Imagine all those harmful experiences you remembered, are pictures on paper... and throw them to the fire one by one. See how they no longer exist.. how they disappear... and you are free.
Walk back again to where you started becoming aware of your surroundings taking all the time you need.
----------
Well I did this meditation during new year, cried my heart out but it felt very healing.
Starting to allow the other to "reply"... XABF took both of my hands and I heard him say "forgive me" welling up in tears. This is what I needed to "hear" for my own closure...acknowledgment of the harm done.
It is wonderful because these days my thoughts wander towards him... but the ache in my heart is less.
This exercise helped me see he is a human suffering and making mistakes just like me.
Thought it may help someone... of course if you got a counselor to facilitate this, its better, if you are new to this process...
Inner work rules!!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 290
Wow... thank you for sharing this!
How did you start the whole meditation process, when you first started it (group, audio book...)??? I have been wanting to try meditation, but don't really know where or how to start (the closest I've come to meditation, was the few minutes of silent breathing before my yoga class, but that doesn't really count as meditation).
How did you start the whole meditation process, when you first started it (group, audio book...)??? I have been wanting to try meditation, but don't really know where or how to start (the closest I've come to meditation, was the few minutes of silent breathing before my yoga class, but that doesn't really count as meditation).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
Some interesting things came up during the meditation.
One, he had no reply to me when I listed my grievances, but I noticed when I expressed how it made me feel, I had some surprises. His lies made me feel...not trustworthy since he couldn't trust me. And his withholding made me feel...not worth opening up to. So the upset around his behavior comes back to my reflected sense of worth and self. That was a revelation!
When he said, making eye contact, that he was genuinely sorry, I felt such relief for his authenticity. It gave me great relief.
When I went to throw the images, they didn't want to go in the fire! I had to work to put them in. I must not want to let go of my upset. I get something out of it. I am attached to my list of grievances! I didn't know. I guess its obvious since I haven't let them go, but there was evidence that I didn't want them to disappear.
Deep stuff. Thanks!
One, he had no reply to me when I listed my grievances, but I noticed when I expressed how it made me feel, I had some surprises. His lies made me feel...not trustworthy since he couldn't trust me. And his withholding made me feel...not worth opening up to. So the upset around his behavior comes back to my reflected sense of worth and self. That was a revelation!
When he said, making eye contact, that he was genuinely sorry, I felt such relief for his authenticity. It gave me great relief.
When I went to throw the images, they didn't want to go in the fire! I had to work to put them in. I must not want to let go of my upset. I get something out of it. I am attached to my list of grievances! I didn't know. I guess its obvious since I haven't let them go, but there was evidence that I didn't want them to disappear.
Deep stuff. Thanks!
I grew my wings to fly...
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: STATE OF CONTENTMENT
Posts: 289
Thank you takingcharge.. I really, really needed this today. I don't know why, but I am so ANGRY at the axbf. I hadn't been angry at him over this last nearly 2 years, but this holiday season I really started getting so angry, to the point of yelling in the air at how much I hate him, and then I cry. We both know I don't hate him, but the feelings of hate are so strong. I have told myself that I am no longer aloud to think about him, and when it comes up in my mind I shut it out.
This meditation is what I needed.
This meditation is what I needed.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
well, tc999, i did the meditation, as explained.
when he spoke, he said "you don't know how powerful i am. you are mine."
and it felt bigger than him, like something was operating thru him.
i looked him in the eye and said "i belong to god, not you."
i did not ask his forgiveness, after what he said. rather, i prayed to god, saying i was sorry for any wrong doing with respect to xABF.
so, it wasn't really what i expected and a bit of a wake-up call really.
naive
when he spoke, he said "you don't know how powerful i am. you are mine."
and it felt bigger than him, like something was operating thru him.
i looked him in the eye and said "i belong to god, not you."
i did not ask his forgiveness, after what he said. rather, i prayed to god, saying i was sorry for any wrong doing with respect to xABF.
so, it wasn't really what i expected and a bit of a wake-up call really.
naive
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
I did a similar meditation yesterday night (got tons of therapy homework).
In this meditation, you imagine a Pink light (love) filling all your body. Then you picture the other person infront of you, and from your heart you send pink light to the other person's heart, and fill his(or her) body too.
Then you have to complete these phrases
"I forgive you for ______ "
"Forgive me for ________ "
"I forgive myself for _______ "
"I forgive God for _______ "
I cried a lot as I imagined myself in "the good times" but instead of being the Tc999 I was then I imagined myself now, stronger,wiser,standing tall- I also pictured him exactly as I remembered him. Someone that still had a heart. I am beyond getting surprised about how much pain I still carry- learning to accept there is still stuff to work with, that's all, doesn't mean I am a failure.
I asked forgiveness for wanting so many bad things to happen to him. And for not letting go of him emotionally yet.
I feel better with myself already - resentment is poison, indeed.
Tonight - same exercise, now with the GF - need to ask myself for forgiveness for feeling envy, and ask forgiveness for wishing her the same misery I lived.
I realized I am afraid of HAPPINESS and this story is a guarantee I don't find it. Yes, there is always something we are getting out of it.
In this meditation, you imagine a Pink light (love) filling all your body. Then you picture the other person infront of you, and from your heart you send pink light to the other person's heart, and fill his(or her) body too.
Then you have to complete these phrases
"I forgive you for ______ "
"Forgive me for ________ "
"I forgive myself for _______ "
"I forgive God for _______ "
I cried a lot as I imagined myself in "the good times" but instead of being the Tc999 I was then I imagined myself now, stronger,wiser,standing tall- I also pictured him exactly as I remembered him. Someone that still had a heart. I am beyond getting surprised about how much pain I still carry- learning to accept there is still stuff to work with, that's all, doesn't mean I am a failure.
I asked forgiveness for wanting so many bad things to happen to him. And for not letting go of him emotionally yet.
I feel better with myself already - resentment is poison, indeed.
Tonight - same exercise, now with the GF - need to ask myself for forgiveness for feeling envy, and ask forgiveness for wishing her the same misery I lived.
I realized I am afraid of HAPPINESS and this story is a guarantee I don't find it. Yes, there is always something we are getting out of it.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Yesterday my mom told me my granddad had been abusive with my grandmom. That it happened before she was born, and after the incident he became a "good man" and was never ever violent. And everyone regards him as a saint. Knowing this made me very sad for my grandmom 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
I am glad you posted this meditation.
Earlier this year I was listening to a relaxation tape at lunch time and slipped into what I wasn't so sure it happened thing - I will call it a vision but my estranged AH came to me with a much softer looking face and physical demeanor - he began to tell him how sorry he was for all that happened, explained that he didn't mean for things to be this way and that he loved me. I had hoped it was a precursor for what was coming but no such luck so far.
This happened with my last relationship break up also years before I met my husband. Having it happen a second time I was thinking that it was a visualization kind of sent to me by my HP. Never really said anything to anyone before now so it just lets me know I am not alone in these things.
I also want to acknowledge the feeling of forgiveness and peace felt after each one.
Earlier this year I was listening to a relaxation tape at lunch time and slipped into what I wasn't so sure it happened thing - I will call it a vision but my estranged AH came to me with a much softer looking face and physical demeanor - he began to tell him how sorry he was for all that happened, explained that he didn't mean for things to be this way and that he loved me. I had hoped it was a precursor for what was coming but no such luck so far.
This happened with my last relationship break up also years before I met my husband. Having it happen a second time I was thinking that it was a visualization kind of sent to me by my HP. Never really said anything to anyone before now so it just lets me know I am not alone in these things.
I also want to acknowledge the feeling of forgiveness and peace felt after each one.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wild West, USA
Posts: 407
I had a short but remarkably vivid dream a couple of years ago where my aexh was sobbing uncontrollably, telling me how sorry he was for what he'd done. In the dream I was alarmed because it was so unlike him to show such unfiltered emotions. But I hugged him and told him it was all right. That was the whole dream.
In real life his apologies were not so dramatic, but they did take place.
They were both healing experiences
In real life his apologies were not so dramatic, but they did take place.
They were both healing experiences
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