dedubya

I guess I'm going through the 'emotional' side of my WDs. So forgive me up front. This is a bit selfish. But I am going to type it. just skip if bored.....

alcohol is the most destructive thing that i have encountered- and I have seen a bit
I started drinking just because everyone else was- I didnt even like the buzz (THATS TRUE BTW) . Now I am struggling with it.....
Back then i did like mj and other things- but thats then.
i am completely functioning in life very well- other than my family life. which sucks exc my kids and dogs.
i need to change some things but it seems like so much...
anyway just thinking out loud and again i know it's selfish.
i plan to have a peaceful but curious night as i know it will be ok.
dub

Rusty Zipper

"Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism"

great line dub

and how timely

just tonight, at a meeting, someone was going on and on about the functioning alcoholic.

what came to my mind was,

looking back, i was alcoholic even before i picked up that first drink.

the behavour patterns and such...

we dont have to go into that here.

also looking back, i can now say, for me,

i was a dysfunctioning alcoholic up till the point the progression nearly killed me.

and dang, was it slow at first, then whammo!

yeah, i worked, had a home, a car, a marriage, things! ect.

then all of it was gone!

POOF!

today, after almost 7 years from the day of surrendering, now i can honestly say, i'm a functioning alcoholic!

with life, its terms, with others, and within myself.

and now, all is as it should, and as you say, i'm really ok.

good wishes dub

rz

Hevyn

Not selfish at all, Dub. These are things you need to get out. Nothing you've said has been boring or a waste of time. We care about you.

prettypoison

I hear ya dedub -- I'm struggling too. I have been a high functioning alcoholic for many years and for the first time my functioning is being hampered. I've resisted AA meetings because I have so much social anxiety.
When I tell people this they can't believe it because I seem so outgoing. But alcoholism casuses me shame on top of the anxiousness I feel sharing anything about myself to a group of strangers and I stay stuck. Well I'm tackling that hurdle because I can't stand the fear of this disease taking what's left of me away. Have you tried AA or any other program?

Hang tough partner -- we get it -- and it's never a selfish of you to share

24hrsAday

i was making more money than i ever made in my life at the very End of my Drinking.. i could Very Easily have Died an Alcoholic Death. i thought i was OK till About the last Year of Pure Hell.. it Takes what it Takes!