sunshinebaby

So it's day 7 for me. This week I have been feeling really good and positive but today, I have woken up in a bad mood. I'm not getting cravings for alcohol as such, but usually if I felt this way, I would be drinking tonight.

But I will not. I'm not going out again today so I won't be buying alcohol.

I have just woken up in a bit of a sad, depressed mood for some reason. I thought I would continually be positive etc but today I feel yuch. A few things that have put me in this mood are:

My MIL was just over for lunch and made little comments about my childrens behaviour, my kids are very high spirited and energetic and loud!! and I like it that way to a point. They can fight and yell and carry on, as all kids do but she only sees this side of them.

She says things like "I am very strict with them at my house" or "I think the tv they watch is contributing to their lack of respect". My kids can be naughty and I need to reign them in to a certain point, but she has made me feel inadequate as a mother, which just adds to my mood and to already feeling like a crap parent.

I don't want to smack them and hurt them as punishment so I try time out and other things like taking away their games for a while etc or not let them swim, because I will not hurt them. I used to smack but that is showing that it is okay to use violence. They do fight and hit each other, and I bet that comes from when I used to smack them.

I love them so much and just want to be the best mother, but when I feel like this, I feel like a terrible one. And usually I would get drunk to make myself feel better, but I won't be doing that.

So thanks for reading but I wanted to ask, is it normal to have up and down emotions, I am usually an emotional type of person anyway and get bad PMT but its not that time now so who knows whats wrong with me.

Ananda

Hi Sunshine...I am the queen of bounce....however I feel...wait 5 minites and it will change...and frankly I like it that way....

For some of us for whatever reason we bounce alot...for others is its simply a part of early recovery.

I've had a very good day today, and about an hour ago one of my friends said something that hurt me....she was trying to help, but her comment was negative.

I spoke with another sober friend of mine who told me..it's ok that you feel good today, don't hang on to that one negative comment and let it lead you into the dark... In the words of the big book...we can stay sober regardless of anyone....

You heard something that hurt...you had an emotional reaction...not too hard to understand, especially in early sobriety....

I got a hug from my friend and came home to check in here....

You came here and now you have a hug from a sober friend (hug)

maybe focus on something that you can do with your kids for a bit...and deal with the emotional bounces one bounce at a time (hug)

sunshinebaby

Thank you so much. If I was in a better mood, what she said would probably not have bothered me, because in reality, she doesnt' get to see all the wonderful funny happy things my kids do. She doesn't live with them 24/7 so she doesn't see how hard it is, and its so easy to say "I am very strict when they are at my house" well she would find it hard going after a weekend with them all too!!!!

Thanks for the hug, right back at ya too!!

ThirstForLife

Sunshine...I've been there. I am the father of a fantastic son. I have had countless run ins with his other side of the family. I never married the mother but always made it clear that I would be in my son's life in every facet. They tried and make me feel inferior because she had custody and felt I didnt know how to raise a child the right way and, basically, shouldnt have a say. I also believed getting your message across through pain was wrong. I didnt spank my kid and to this day he listens to what i say and respects it and understands when I am stressing a point. The problem is he is torn with the otherside continually downplaying my "authority" if you will. But he's coming around. He just turned 18 and wants to live with me and cant wait to get the things done that I told him we would. Like finishing school and saving money and getting him his own place and his own independence. Just keep you head up and know you are doing the best you can. Forget the in laws opinions of you. The only one that matters is your child.

sunshinebaby

You sound like you are an awesome father and your son is very lucky to have someone so caring. I usually don't bother about what my inlaws think, although they are good usually but just today when she said those things, it made me feel inadequate. I bet I won't care less tommorow!!

silentone

Boy can I understand where you are coming from. Just switch MIL, to Mother and 7 days clean to 3 days (almost) clean, came to lunch to a phone call, and we could write the same story. Congrats on 7 day, BTW !

My mother is always at me and before when I could just take the negitive feelings away with a pill it never really hurt my feelings, or it did but I could make it better,but now that is no longer a option, Its hard.. ((hugs))

sunshinebaby

Yes it used to be easy just to go and drink or do whatever to not think about feeling like crap, but now its different. It's Saturday night here, I would usually be watching a dvd and drinking, but tonight I will do some cleaning after the kids are in bed and maybe start on my new epic book Under the Dome by Stephen King.

I love reading and haven't read for so long......Hope you are okay too BTW xx

TigerLili

My moods go up and down like a yoyo. We drank to deal with our emotions amd often to numb them and to dull pain. Now we are sober, we have to learn to sit with our less positive emotions and not act on our impulses etc. It will pass and you'll feel better. If you pick up a drink to feel better/make the bad feelings go away, you're back at the beginning.

sunshinebaby

Exactly. I am actually looking forward more to reading my book tonight than to drinking.

lionheart

Hang in there sunshine - today must have beent the day for the aussies! (wonder if its coz our full moon has just happened?)

I have been in a filthy mood all day, ranging from angry to aggrevated to edgy to wanting to cry etc.

Hang in there and remember "dont pick up the first drink".

Hope this passes for you, take care

Dee74

I must have bucked the trend today

All of this may be down to Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome
Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma

Or it may be just the ups and down of life, the fact some people can really push our buttons, the full moon, a combination of any of those...or something else entirely .

It's learning to live with challenges and meet them sober that's the trick - and there's nothing like experience for that.

You guys are doing well
D