Looking forward to Jan1!!!
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Looking forward to Jan1!!!
Well it's NYE. I have felt great today. Like all of the hard-work that I've put in over xmas period has paid off and it's all coming to an end and I can breathe again now!! I did it! made it through all of xmas and B'day, NYE sober!!
This is the first NYE that I am actually enjoying and not trying to beat the clock by running away from life and everything going on in it by getting totally blasted. Listening to all of 'Blood sugar sex magik' by RHCP not 'counting down' or any of that bullsh*t but just feeling great that I am gonna be starting a new decade with evrything to live for and free of the shackles of my alcohol and drug addiciton that has been very active over this period over the last few years.
Amazing how quick my mood can change, it's all about having faith that staying away from that first drink at all costs is gonna be worth it... I feel very satisfied at the moment but I think I deserve it after all of the anguish and pain I've been through during 'party' season.
I am actually not dreading new years day and waking from my usual (in the past) few hours of passout sleep with a thumping hangover and sore lips and blocked nose and head cold from all of the Coke that I shoved up there. Scratting around for an half empty can (of which there never would be any dregs at all left ! LOL)
Man feels good to be starting a new decade with no need for any pathetic, unobtainable resoltuions or none of that bullsh*t when feeling remorsefull about my alcohol and drug addiciton.
So glad I stuck with it through, but it was never really in doubt tbh as I had built significant defense from first drink, but my mind was going ten to the dozen at times.
Full of hope, serenity and positivity at the moment with 18 minutes till 12.00 o'clock strikes and you know what... I aint gotta run away from anything anymore!!!
peace, Love and Happy new year!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This is the first NYE that I am actually enjoying and not trying to beat the clock by running away from life and everything going on in it by getting totally blasted. Listening to all of 'Blood sugar sex magik' by RHCP not 'counting down' or any of that bullsh*t but just feeling great that I am gonna be starting a new decade with evrything to live for and free of the shackles of my alcohol and drug addiciton that has been very active over this period over the last few years.
Amazing how quick my mood can change, it's all about having faith that staying away from that first drink at all costs is gonna be worth it... I feel very satisfied at the moment but I think I deserve it after all of the anguish and pain I've been through during 'party' season.
I am actually not dreading new years day and waking from my usual (in the past) few hours of passout sleep with a thumping hangover and sore lips and blocked nose and head cold from all of the Coke that I shoved up there. Scratting around for an half empty can (of which there never would be any dregs at all left ! LOL)
Man feels good to be starting a new decade with no need for any pathetic, unobtainable resoltuions or none of that bullsh*t when feeling remorsefull about my alcohol and drug addiciton.
So glad I stuck with it through, but it was never really in doubt tbh as I had built significant defense from first drink, but my mind was going ten to the dozen at times.
Full of hope, serenity and positivity at the moment with 18 minutes till 12.00 o'clock strikes and you know what... I aint gotta run away from anything anymore!!!
peace, Love and Happy new year!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Birmingham, England
Posts: 665
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST 
Well it's NYE. I have felt great today. Like all of the hard-work that I've put in over xmas period has paid off and it's all coming to an end and I can breathe again now!! I did it! made it through all of xmas and B'day, NYE sober!!
This is the first NYE that I am actually enjoying and not trying to beat the clock by running away from life and everything going on in it by getting totally blasted. Listening to all of 'Blood sugar sex magik' by RHCP not 'counting down' or any of that bullsh*t but just feeling great that I am gonna be starting a new decade with evrything to live for and free of the shackles of my alcohol and drug addiciton that has been very active over this period over the least few years.
Amazing how quick my mood can change, it's all about having faith that staying away from that first drink at all costs is gonna be worth it... I feel very satisfied at the moment but I think I deserve it after all of the anguish and pain I've been through during 'party' season.
I am actually not dreading new years day and waking from my few hours of passout sleep with a thumping hangover and sore lips and blocked nose and head cold from all of the Coke that I shoved up there.
Man feels good to be starting a new decade with no need for any pathetic, unobtainable resoltuions or none of that bullsh*t.
So glad I stuck with it through, but it was never really in doubt but my mind was going ten to the dozen at times.
Full of hope, serenity and positivity at the moment with 18 minutes till 12.00 o'clock strikes and you know what... I aint gotta run away from anything anymore!!!
peace, Love and Happy new year!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This is the first NYE that I am actually enjoying and not trying to beat the clock by running away from life and everything going on in it by getting totally blasted. Listening to all of 'Blood sugar sex magik' by RHCP not 'counting down' or any of that bullsh*t but just feeling great that I am gonna be starting a new decade with evrything to live for and free of the shackles of my alcohol and drug addiciton that has been very active over this period over the least few years.
Amazing how quick my mood can change, it's all about having faith that staying away from that first drink at all costs is gonna be worth it... I feel very satisfied at the moment but I think I deserve it after all of the anguish and pain I've been through during 'party' season.
I am actually not dreading new years day and waking from my few hours of passout sleep with a thumping hangover and sore lips and blocked nose and head cold from all of the Coke that I shoved up there.
Man feels good to be starting a new decade with no need for any pathetic, unobtainable resoltuions or none of that bullsh*t.
So glad I stuck with it through, but it was never really in doubt but my mind was going ten to the dozen at times.
Full of hope, serenity and positivity at the moment with 18 minutes till 12.00 o'clock strikes and you know what... I aint gotta run away from anything anymore!!!
peace, Love and Happy new year!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Very well put and congrats. This is my first Christmas and New Year in 23 years without have some part of it missing,. It feels good and I feel pleased with myself for getting through it even though I have been surrounded with booze.
not little, a stranger no more
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: in the crowd
Posts: 410
Happy New Year Neo, and congrats on going trough with it! I like reading your posts because I can relate to many things you said in your posts over the last couple of weeks. And yes, the beginning of a new decade feels like a new beginning. For me, it is also the first sober nye in my adult life, and it feels great. Even better knowing that tomorrow, no hangover! The new year has started an hour ago here, so Happy New Year to all the people on SR!
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
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Agreed - and at some point I'd fall asleep, but wake up around noon & start with beer for breakfast. No hard stuff until evening - how admirable. I'm so glad we're not putting ourselves through that crap tonight.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
I felt at peace with myself when the clock struck midnight tonight and I was listening to one of my favourite songs and the song literally skipped for about 3 seconds about bang as the clock struck midnight!! Well weird but I'm taking it as a sign!! LOL.
So gratefull to be at peace with myself tonight and will be waking tomorrow feeling like I can really make something of this next decade and have all to live for as opposed to waking and the first thought coming into my battered mind is to get another drink and to scrat around licking my Cocaine baggie's which have already been licked dry. I used to feel so desolate but all the while just yearning to get that high and buzz/release from life and myself back. I have realised that it truly is a game that will always end in tears for us alclholics and addicts and happiness will only ever come to us if we 'work' for it and on ourselves filling that indescribable void with other things instead of booze and drugs.
I thought tonight that when you strip all of the bullsh*t away from all of the reasons you could come up with as to why you 'deserve' a drink it's all just a load of b*llocks that your alclholic mind comes up with to try to justify getting its fix. When it comes down to it I used to just want to get loaded, plain and simple and it will always end in heartache and tears, everytime.
Gratefull to be sober and at relative peave and clarity in my mind. I just need to keep striving to work on myself and my insecurities and then I know I could indeed feel real happiness. Something which I dodn't think i have felt probably since I was a child really.
I think I consued euphoria with happiness for many years as it's the easy fix to happiness.
peace and love xxx
So gratefull to be at peace with myself tonight and will be waking tomorrow feeling like I can really make something of this next decade and have all to live for as opposed to waking and the first thought coming into my battered mind is to get another drink and to scrat around licking my Cocaine baggie's which have already been licked dry. I used to feel so desolate but all the while just yearning to get that high and buzz/release from life and myself back. I have realised that it truly is a game that will always end in tears for us alclholics and addicts and happiness will only ever come to us if we 'work' for it and on ourselves filling that indescribable void with other things instead of booze and drugs.
I thought tonight that when you strip all of the bullsh*t away from all of the reasons you could come up with as to why you 'deserve' a drink it's all just a load of b*llocks that your alclholic mind comes up with to try to justify getting its fix. When it comes down to it I used to just want to get loaded, plain and simple and it will always end in heartache and tears, everytime.
Gratefull to be sober and at relative peave and clarity in my mind. I just need to keep striving to work on myself and my insecurities and then I know I could indeed feel real happiness. Something which I dodn't think i have felt probably since I was a child really.
I think I consued euphoria with happiness for many years as it's the easy fix to happiness.
peace and love xxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
The start of a new decade, start of a continuing new life. So glad I made the decision to get and crucially remain sober. Just a case of working on myself now and maintaining sobriety. Really looking forward to this ncoming year and what it may bring.
Whatever happens "don't take that first drink" - I think sometimes with all of the rhetoric that you hear spouted in AA that crucial part becomes lost in translation along the way at times and things just get too mititant and depressing.
Thanks SR for being there for me in 2009 and for continuing to be there for me at the start of 2010!!
Whatever happens "don't take that first drink" - I think sometimes with all of the rhetoric that you hear spouted in AA that crucial part becomes lost in translation along the way at times and things just get too mititant and depressing.
Thanks SR for being there for me in 2009 and for continuing to be there for me at the start of 2010!!
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