jacksdaughter

I am totally disgusted with my son. Found out last month that he has been using drugs for the past 10 years. Yes I guess if I was honest I did suspect but didn't really know the extent. Okay he went to rehab and from what I can see he is really trying to be clean etc.. his girlfriend also went to rehab and she is now home. She lives at home with her mom going to move in with dad and will be living about 10 mins from here she's 27. He lives here with us supposed moved in to regroup save $$ well that didn't happen spent it all on drugs. He's 28. Last night I told him that now that she is living only a short distance she doesn't need to be spending nights here. I totally tired of this gf/bf live together at their parents house. Seems to me they want to be adults with no realy adult responsibilities. Well he had a total hissy fit (didn't see that coming either) and ranted and raved that he'lll be out of here (okay so that would be okay). I guess I am just seriously surprised of his reaction it was so so immature it starteld me. He lives in our house rent free and he's pushing thirty. I have really just had enough. Thanks for listening.

suki44883

That's good! You've had enough...you have to reach your limit before you can move forward. What's your next step?

Carol Star

Alcoholic/addicts have the core of a child. They are stuck in the age they started using. They are selfish too so he will use whoever he can for all he can get. You are right in wanting him out of your home. You are just making using easier for him giving him a safe warm place to live with food. If he is put out he will have to work to put a roof over his own head with not so much left for using-hopefully.

jacksdaughter

Sorry to say don't have a next step yet. I just have to stick to the boundaries I have made. One is that if he starts using we can't be helping him any longer. And yes I am done with the BF/GF let's live together at our parents house. ~~ ugh~~

CarolD

Well....I did this...

"No sex in my house even if she visits"
"No sex in my house even if I'm not here"

Insulated

I went through something like this as well. My daughter lost her apartment, job and custody of her son in a drunken brawl. She eventually came to live with me. The ridiculous taking advantage of mom? Yup. lasted about six months and I moved! I can still remember hers and her ABF (who is now deceased, left her pg with my granddaughter) asking me what I'm doing as I was moving boxes out of my own place. They'd had a 30 notice that mom was moving out. They cooked dinner and had a party in the darned place...until I cut the power, cable, water off. They still stayed in it like squatters. The police had to remove them. Yes! It can get that bad. Maybe this is a circumstance for you where you can never predict all the if this happens, or this could happen, or what if _______ Put up your fences and don't waste any energy on fine tuning the rules of your house as you go.

jacksdaughter

You're right I am disgusted with myself as well. Really trying to set up boundries now. I know it's late but I am much stronger these days. Thanks for all the responses.

Chino

One of the biggest mistakes I made about guests in my home, was trusting my daughter to relay my rules to others. I very politely told her friend myself, allowed him to save face by saying I knew she wasn't being clear, and it's been fine ever since.