Update-REALLY done. Filed for divorce.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Update-REALLY done. Filed for divorce.
Just wanted to share an update-haven't been on in a while...my AH went to a 30 day treatment program, moved back home, immediately starting going to meetings and got a sponsor... things were looking up I thought... about 30 days after that, he stopped going to meetings, stopped calling his sponsor, I told him I could feel a relapse coming (as his counselors at the treatment center recommended)...needless to say, he was sober 90 days (including the 30 days he was in treatment), relapsed and is now actively using... AGAIN. I followed through with my boundary-GO ME!!!
We go to court next week. I am asking for full custody of my son with only supervised visits with my AH and exclusive use of our home. He has been acting like a lunatic for the last few weeks (since I filed.) He thinks I am cheating on him, can't understand why I won't give him another chance (even tho I have been dealing with his addiction for 5 years!!), he only slipped that once, quack quack quack. Meanwhile, I looked at his cell phone records yesterday and saw he has been calling his dealer EVERY weekend since his alleged one time "slip" just as I suspected. That information only solidifies that I am making the right decision. Of course, he hasn't come clean about his continued drug use... he is still just quacking his butt off!
He finally has a consequence for his actions after all of this time, and I will finally have peace in my life. He is supposed to be moving out next weekend (and I will promptly be changing the locks) and as sad as it sounds, I am counting down the days. I am exhausted, disappointed and at the end of my rope. I am done, and I never thought I would be. I feel a sense of guilt (darn codependency) because I feel relieved and happy that I am FINALLY taking care of myself. I feel like I am WORTH IT! I will not live or be married to active addict. I love me and I deserve more. AND MOST OF ALL-MY BABY DESERVES MORE AND NOW HE WILL GET IT!!
Thanks for the continued support!
Have a safe, blessed and Happy New Year!!!
Daisy
We go to court next week. I am asking for full custody of my son with only supervised visits with my AH and exclusive use of our home. He has been acting like a lunatic for the last few weeks (since I filed.) He thinks I am cheating on him, can't understand why I won't give him another chance (even tho I have been dealing with his addiction for 5 years!!), he only slipped that once, quack quack quack. Meanwhile, I looked at his cell phone records yesterday and saw he has been calling his dealer EVERY weekend since his alleged one time "slip" just as I suspected. That information only solidifies that I am making the right decision. Of course, he hasn't come clean about his continued drug use... he is still just quacking his butt off!
He finally has a consequence for his actions after all of this time, and I will finally have peace in my life. He is supposed to be moving out next weekend (and I will promptly be changing the locks) and as sad as it sounds, I am counting down the days. I am exhausted, disappointed and at the end of my rope. I am done, and I never thought I would be. I feel a sense of guilt (darn codependency) because I feel relieved and happy that I am FINALLY taking care of myself. I feel like I am WORTH IT! I will not live or be married to active addict. I love me and I deserve more. AND MOST OF ALL-MY BABY DESERVES MORE AND NOW HE WILL GET IT!!
Thanks for the continued support!
Have a safe, blessed and Happy New Year!!!
Daisy
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 512
You are going about and doing the right things. Offer to drive him to rehab first with a deadline? Maybe...
I'm going to say that I read this book by Sylvia Browne. Titled the Other side and back. Page 75 I practically have memorized. Remember that I personally am grieving and mourning my active addict fiance' who overdosed in our bed on 11-29-09. But that chapter in that book turned the biggest light on in my head EVER! Go to the bookstore and read the chapter on personal relationships. It's a must read. You and your child deserve joy and abundance in every facet of your life. Unfortunately, and addict and a non addict can NOT live in the same house without a certain level of discord. Be strong. I'm rooting for YOU!
I'm going to say that I read this book by Sylvia Browne. Titled the Other side and back. Page 75 I practically have memorized. Remember that I personally am grieving and mourning my active addict fiance' who overdosed in our bed on 11-29-09. But that chapter in that book turned the biggest light on in my head EVER! Go to the bookstore and read the chapter on personal relationships. It's a must read. You and your child deserve joy and abundance in every facet of your life. Unfortunately, and addict and a non addict can NOT live in the same house without a certain level of discord. Be strong. I'm rooting for YOU!
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Who cares if he comes clean with the big ole confession, or not? That does not change anything and seems to open the door to negotiation.
You are worth it. Your baby has a terrific mama who put him before the chaos of addiction. Happy new year and life to you.
You are worth it. Your baby has a terrific mama who put him before the chaos of addiction. Happy new year and life to you.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Originally Posted by daisylady 
I feel a sense of guilt (darn codependency) because I feel relieved and happy that I am FINALLY taking care of myself.
Good for you and wishing you all the best in the new year
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Daisylady - Congratulations on behaving in a very healthy manner! You are taking care of YOU and your child...and that is an awesome thing! Remember that you are HELPING your AH, so there is really no need to feel guilty. BRAVO!
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