Food for thought
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Food for thought
Originally Posted by AA Big Book, Ch. 2, 1st Ed.
An illness of this sort and we have come to believe it an illness involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life. It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferer's. It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents anyone can increase the list.
My alcoholism was contagious, and it infected everyone I came in contact with. They became sickened by being around me. I see so much 2nd guessing and doubt on this forum. People who are struggling and questioning whether or not they should be feeling the way they are truly feeling. People who look to the alcoholic's behavior as being their problem. If only he would straighten up, all would be well.
Recognizing the sickness in myself led me to a solution from alcoholism. It didn't matter how or why I got to that point. The simple fact was, I'm an alcoholic. And I had to accept that before I could start to heal.
Likewise, the friends and family have to accept the facts before they can heal. It doesn't matter how they got where they are, they need to heal.
I hope that all the friends and family can recognize that the healing does not begin with looking outward. The solution starts when I can recognize how sick I've become, regardless of the cause.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I am a "double winner". I am both an alcoholic in recovery, and a codependent in recovery. The day I discovered that the 12 step program for both of them was essentially the same, was a light bulb moment for me. I knew I had to fix my life as far as the alcohol was concerned, but I still thought I had to fix my (ex)husband's life as well.
Now I know for both issues, I am the only one I can change. I am the sick person in both cases. Not the only one, but I am sick. Embracing the 12 steps of Al-Anon, changing how I take care of me, focusing on being a spiritually healthier person freed me from the madness of trying to control another person's descent into alcoholism. I still miss the man he was, the life we should have had, but I see him for the sick person he is, and I am cleaning my own side of the street. I see the part I played in the train wreck, and I own it. Today I worry about doing the next right thing in MY life, and I just pray and give the rest over to a HP.
Now I know for both issues, I am the only one I can change. I am the sick person in both cases. Not the only one, but I am sick. Embracing the 12 steps of Al-Anon, changing how I take care of me, focusing on being a spiritually healthier person freed me from the madness of trying to control another person's descent into alcoholism. I still miss the man he was, the life we should have had, but I see him for the sick person he is, and I am cleaning my own side of the street. I see the part I played in the train wreck, and I own it. Today I worry about doing the next right thing in MY life, and I just pray and give the rest over to a HP.
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