cagreg9

Alcoholic husband texted 3 kids to see what they want for Christmas. He has had virtually no contact or supported these kids for almost 8 months.They have been hurt so much and are not sure what to do.They also know how much he has hurt us financially. I know my son wont accept anything, my two girls are confused. They havent texted back, I told my oldest to follow her heart, and my youngest (12) is so unsure,there is just so much unhappiness.Should I encourage them to accept these gifts even though it would make him feel better?I'm so unsure. He never sent a card or gift for their birthdays. Recently fell after he claimed he had only three beers, had surgery in a cast. Ijust hate him for doing this to them. They dont want anything to do with him until he gets help, and now he throws this at them. Advice please...

transformyself

I finally got my kids into therapy. I was too overwhelmed and afraid I wasn't handling it well. It's really helped.

Otherwise, I think validating their feelings about him drinking is really healthy. They don't have to do anything to make him feel better, I think that's putting too much responsibility on thier heads. he's the one that is suppose to be making thier lives better, He's the parent here, not them.

The three C's is really helpful, I keep drilling it into my kids heads.

Personally, I wouldn't go out of my way to help or communicate with him. Have a great holiday. no one has to respond at all.

I dunno, others may have better advice...

laurie6781

Transform said it.

Help them by find therapy for them. Tell them they do NOT have to respond at all if they don't want to. Remind them of the 3 C's, and reaffirm THIS IS NOT THEIR FAULT.

Have a good Christmas with just you and the kids.

Love and hugs,