ladyhawk69

After a few days of feeling sorry for myself and missing my "man", I came to the conclusion that my house is simpler and not as tense without him here. There was a question of infidelity and upon getting to know the girl in question, I did find out he is lying through his teeth about that. I so wanted to believe him. I did. But after asking some VERY personal questions, I know in my heart that indeed he was unfaithful. Add that to the drugs and the alcohol and I'm free. How sad is it that I had to come to that point to "allow" myself to be free of him. I believe I WAS morning the man he was when we met. Not the man he has become.
If anyone believes in kharma, he is living (supposedly as a friend) with his ex wife who is extremely high maintenance and bossy and has a 3 yr old who watches Thomas the Train until 11 pm. HA HA Be careful what you wish for because it might just come true!

**The evil me......

ladyhawk69

Oh, and I've blocked the phone numbers so I can't receive calls or make them.

IPT

good for you - NC is the best thing! Careful because when I first left I felt great too, then I sort of crashed some. Over time though it became clear that I was infact better off. Truth is I am happier now than I have been, well, since I met my ex. Ah, nice to be back to me with two feet on the ground, people around me who I trust and treat me with respect. Congrats on taking steps to reclaim yourself.

ladyhawk69

Thanks for the support! The only thing I'm not giving up is his family because they are great! I'm hoping to continue that relationship while leaving the other one behind.

rayofsunshine

Glad you don't have a front row seat on the roller coaster anymore. IPT is right, it
feels great at first, then you may go through the grieving process where you have feelings
of missing them. Just play the tape all the way through... remember the BAD times as well as the good... in time the feelings will pass if you don't act on them.

Good job blocking the phone numbers. That will help you stay strong!

I love my ex's family too... we still see each other.. mainly because of the kids.
It's hard sometimes, when they want to talk about him, but as time goes on,
they talk about him less and less. (He is still out there lost in addiction living with
CW pregnant GF... doesn't have anything to do with his kids or his parents.)

(((HUGS)))

Insulated

kiki....you are a brave woman. the waves of missing an addict will subside from siege to non existant. my bf overdosed and previously been incarcerated 4 times. the 4th time? i actually felt relieved since I knew he was safe and clean for 10 days. the home front was much more calm and serene. do something nurturing for yourself. pick up a book, surf the net, call a friend. it is YOUR life

littlebird77

I envy you! Keep it up

teke

glad to hear you putting yourself first and getting away from all the drama. i went through a whole range of emotions when my ah first left but it time, it got so much easier.stay strong and keep moving forward. you are in my prayers.

ladyhawk69

Thank you all! Each day I get stronger and feel more empowered.