cycle starts again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 83
cycle starts again
My boyfriend promised me he wouldn't drink again...
It's starting up again...everyday
We live with his dad because his dad suffers from Korsakoff's syndrome and his deminta is really bad. His dad is seeing people who don't exist and wandering off and hurting himself. Since Cory is the oldest of all 4 kids (22), he feels as though he has to be in charge of everything. His sister is 14 and out of control. She is skipping LOTS of school and hanging out with older guys. So Cory will go out to the car that drops her off and yell at these older guys, and his sister doesn't understand. She gets so mad and storms off expecting her dad to do something about Cory. But he won't he'll just side up with her and and ask Cory why he can't just let her go do whatever the hell she wants to do! She's 14!!! We are looking out for her safety! These are ALL triggers!
Anyway so we broke up recently after a BAD drunk. He left the house and went homeless for a little while...he said he couldn't live without me...i believed him AGAIN! So I came back...he was doing good, until he started hanging out with this guy who used to be a bartender at our work and they've been getting ****** up together. This guy is REALLY bad with addition, it's not just booze...so Cory started drinking again
Our friend came into town that we haven't seen a year...so Cory wanted to get a LOT of booze...
Everyday now...
And yesterday he pushed me out of the room and told me to sleep on the couch. He got pissed because I didn't want to sleep with him....(I can't stand it when he drunk)...so he called me REALLY mean names all night and told me to get out if I didn't want to sleep with him...so wtf...
Some days he's like this and some days he wants to stop drinking and I'm the only person for him....
I don't know what to do...Christmas is ruined because everyone in this house is angry as hell...and I'm not (yet) and I don't want to be....
It's starting up again...everyday
We live with his dad because his dad suffers from Korsakoff's syndrome and his deminta is really bad. His dad is seeing people who don't exist and wandering off and hurting himself. Since Cory is the oldest of all 4 kids (22), he feels as though he has to be in charge of everything. His sister is 14 and out of control. She is skipping LOTS of school and hanging out with older guys. So Cory will go out to the car that drops her off and yell at these older guys, and his sister doesn't understand. She gets so mad and storms off expecting her dad to do something about Cory. But he won't he'll just side up with her and and ask Cory why he can't just let her go do whatever the hell she wants to do! She's 14!!! We are looking out for her safety! These are ALL triggers!
Anyway so we broke up recently after a BAD drunk. He left the house and went homeless for a little while...he said he couldn't live without me...i believed him AGAIN! So I came back...he was doing good, until he started hanging out with this guy who used to be a bartender at our work and they've been getting ****** up together. This guy is REALLY bad with addition, it's not just booze...so Cory started drinking again
Our friend came into town that we haven't seen a year...so Cory wanted to get a LOT of booze...
Everyday now...
And yesterday he pushed me out of the room and told me to sleep on the couch. He got pissed because I didn't want to sleep with him....(I can't stand it when he drunk)...so he called me REALLY mean names all night and told me to get out if I didn't want to sleep with him...so wtf...
Some days he's like this and some days he wants to stop drinking and I'm the only person for him....
I don't know what to do...Christmas is ruined because everyone in this house is angry as hell...and I'm not (yet) and I don't want to be....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
hi there and Welcome to SR! I'm glad you found this place. The people here are wonderfully supportive.
Please try to remember the 3 C's of addiction:
You didn't cause it.
You can't cure it.
You can't control it.
You are already ahead of the game in that you SEE the cycle repeating itself again and again, no matter what you do, say, or feel. You'll stand by, hoping to just "make it through" Christmas, the New Year's, then a birthday or Valentine's Day, or Easter or whatever, and yet, the cycle will continue. In this madness, you are not important. It is the booze that is important. He loves the booze more than anything.
Is this what you want for yourself? what makes you happy? What are your goals and dreams?
Please keep posting and reading.
Please try to remember the 3 C's of addiction:
You didn't cause it.
You can't cure it.
You can't control it.
You are already ahead of the game in that you SEE the cycle repeating itself again and again, no matter what you do, say, or feel. You'll stand by, hoping to just "make it through" Christmas, the New Year's, then a birthday or Valentine's Day, or Easter or whatever, and yet, the cycle will continue. In this madness, you are not important. It is the booze that is important. He loves the booze more than anything.
Is this what you want for yourself? what makes you happy? What are your goals and dreams?
Please keep posting and reading.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
The children in the house under the age of 18 need to be protected from this situation. Parent who is not mentally fit, older sibling "in charge" who is an active addict......As hard as it may sound, I would call child protective services......you may be saving someone's life.
Huge hugs! Keep reading, keep posting, and welcome!
HG
Huge hugs! Keep reading, keep posting, and welcome!
HG
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 83
Thank you for the advice!!
Cory does make me happy when he is sober...
He's my best friend in the whole world. We do everything together all the time...
We've been together for 4 years and for 3 years we have taken on the roles of "Mom and Dad"...
The stress is unbearable....I don't even know how to take care of babies much less angry, mean, hurtful, selfish TEENAGERS! Not only is that going on, but we have to take care a deminta patient.....we can't seem to get a break...
My car is broken now...so we are stuck here which makes things even worse...he dad can't go to his doctors appointments with the VA and we can't get things we need for the house...so I guess it's easier to just drink...forget about everything...
I'm so scared he's gonna get really bad again...this time if I go back to my mom's it's over....I can't keep doing that to her, I don't want her to worry about me or think I'm making bad choices...
I just love Cory with all of my heart...and it hurts me so bad when he hurts me....drinking...the booze....it's so stupid....
Cory does make me happy when he is sober...
He's my best friend in the whole world. We do everything together all the time...
We've been together for 4 years and for 3 years we have taken on the roles of "Mom and Dad"...
The stress is unbearable....I don't even know how to take care of babies much less angry, mean, hurtful, selfish TEENAGERS! Not only is that going on, but we have to take care a deminta patient.....we can't seem to get a break...
My car is broken now...so we are stuck here which makes things even worse...he dad can't go to his doctors appointments with the VA and we can't get things we need for the house...so I guess it's easier to just drink...forget about everything...
I'm so scared he's gonna get really bad again...this time if I go back to my mom's it's over....I can't keep doing that to her, I don't want her to worry about me or think I'm making bad choices...
I just love Cory with all of my heart...and it hurts me so bad when he hurts me....drinking...the booze....it's so stupid....
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome back.
I re-read your posts from earlier this month. Nothing has changed. The cycle does continue. It will get worse because alcohol addiction is progressive.
This is your one precious life. Is this how you want to spend your life?
Can you go back to your mother's (before she cuts you off) and get the support you need for yourself through group meetings or counseling?
I re-read your posts from earlier this month. Nothing has changed. The cycle does continue. It will get worse because alcohol addiction is progressive.
This is your one precious life. Is this how you want to spend your life?
Can you go back to your mother's (before she cuts you off) and get the support you need for yourself through group meetings or counseling?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
This is just me, but if my grown daughter came to me to try to get away from an abusive alcoholic partner, I'd welcome her in, much in the same way that my parents have opened their home to be in the past two months. I felt guilty for imposing, but I realize that it was my HP laying out the Welcome mat for me.
If you can get away from this and go to your mother's, please consider it.
If you can get away from this and go to your mother's, please consider it.
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