Aibreanowl

Well, he called me from work to say, "Will you be really mad at me if I don't go to my meeting tonight."

"you've got to do what you've got to do, I guess" I replied.

"Ok, well, I'm going to come home and sleep then," he said.

"OK" I said.

He came home. Ate dinner, all the while baiting me to ask questions about his program. "Are you mad?"

"no, should I be mad?"

"Well, I just thought you'd be mad."

"Nope, it's your program, not mine...your choices. I mean, I hope you stick with it, but I can't make you."

"yeah. Well, I'm going to sleep."

Then we agreed he'd watch the kids while I went to the video store, so I'd have something to do tonight while he slept. It was HILLARIOUS. He gave me many suggestions of what movie to get (but he was going to sleep...guess when he realised I was going to have a life other than worry about him, he didn't like that!). He asked me 2 times if I would take back the movie from last night. Two times...no like him sober, so I did ask him if he had been drinking, because I was leaving the kids with him. He wasn't totally drunk though and he thought he was covering really well...the kids were not going to be at risk, so I left them with him and went to the store, even though he claimed he wasn't drinking.

I got back. He asked me another two times if I had brought back the movie from last night (this over about 30 minutes). *?#!*?#!*?#!*?#!. I knew he was drunk. My son said he sat outside and smoked cigarettes the whole time I was gone (about 20 minutes). Of course, I wished that he had played with them, but they were safe and I can't force the relationship with them.

I know he is too tired. He's not eating. Not hydrating. Not sleeping. He's not going to meetings. OF COURSE he's drinking.

I don't need to berate him any longer to get him to tell me. It is obvious. He stayed up for another hour and a half though...just sort of milling about WAITING for me to freak out. Waiting to validate that I care or something??? I don't know...but he was looking for the "Are you drunk?" fight.

It was almost funny.

I did so well. Really. I didn't freak out. I watched TV. I called a friend. I journalled.

I HATE that he is drunk. I HATE being around him like that. I hate it...but I didn't lay it on him. Time will tell if I stay or if I go.

But I had fun tonight anyway. It sure beats crying and arguing with a drunk!!!

Aibreanowl

countrygirl

You did so well, sorry you had to deal with it but sounds like you did great for all concerned.

I noticed how he kept repeating himself. I really dislike that about my A. The other night mine sat there beating the neighbor's ear, same thing over and over - I didn't save anybody. I kissed hubby goodbye and went to town.

constant

Hey "A"

Good for you!! I am sorry that he was drinking, but you made the best of your evening and enjoyed yourself anyway!! and YES that WAS much better than the alternative.

You go girl

Blessings
Constant

Aibreanowl

this morning I asked him THE question "So, were you drinking last night at all?"

NO was his response.

Hmmm. lying? Does it matter? The clincher was when I asked him why he kept putting diapers on our daughter backwards. "OH, I found the one I took off on her backward."

Ummm...that would be because you put it on her last night....remember?

"Why would I remember that?"

Exactly. Why would you when you were drinking?? BUt instead of SAYING that I stood in the closet picking out clothes saying, "Is it really important? Is it? is it important to be right and berate? I am sick...let go let god....let go..." I picked out a shirt and put it on.

I wish this was easier! LOL But I'm doing it one day at a time.

NOw if I can just work on my eating disorder the same way

Thanks all!