a fallen man

today is day 97 for me. it is so much easier and i know that is hard for newcomers to believe when you're in your first few days or weeks but it is.

that does not mean it is without struggle. friday night our local university was playing in a basketball game in nashville which is about an hour from here. a friend offered me his tickets as he couldn't make it.

i made plans to go down with my 23 year old son. he's never drank in his life. never judged me for drinking but did one time share that the reason he never started was seeing what it did to me, my brother and my father. if any good ever came out of my drinking...that was it....lol.

the university alumni association had a big get together planned at the hilton across the street from the venue. it was a r.r. called 'the sportsgrille'. very nice.

my son and i walked in and i immediately ran into people i knew. everyone in the place was drinking of course. some very moderately but others were buzzing very much pre-game.

i won't lie....even tho' i was a vodka drinker a beer 'looked' great. but one thing i have learned from this site and i love it is i asked myself. 'would adding alcohol into the mix make it better?'

not really. even if i just had a few. i've unfortunately never seen the point in just having a few. i want that hard vodka buzz. but what unfortunately follows that is me passing out and not remembering anything the next day.

we ate some appetizers and then went to the game. it was a great game and i sat there thinking how much i enjoyed watching it with full faculties. seeing the nuance of the game and not worrying about hiding my flask.

not worrying about what i said to someone at halftime in the concourse. to top it off, we won the game and were the underdog. then my son and i drove home. i actually did the driving. in the past i 'used' my son to drive me home. i am not proud of that as i type it but i try to be honest on this site.

i know this is long but i wanted to share with any newcomer how much better it really is without alcohol. i'm not a happy happy joy joy robot. but i try to be cerebral about things and there is nothing positive that alcohol could have added to my experience friday night.

i spent the evening with my oldest son sharing something we both love. i was able to give him advice as he is graduating college this semester. he can once again depend on his dad for advice. i've noticed he calls me a lot more than he used to. i had just chalked it up to he's grown and independent now but looking back....who wants to call someone that is probably already into the vodka???

love wins,

david.

coffeenut

Yes, love does win. Your post made me smile.

FWIW....I think you need to change your screen name. You appear to be learning a lot from your alcoholism....and that is the best news of all.

NEOMARXIST

Great post man!!

I can relate to much of what you say, especially the reality of wanting to be deep into that buzz as soon as you start and also the anxiety/worry about not remembering what you said to people at half-time interval etcetc. Used to drive me crazy man, Another excuse to get another drink down. Glad I don't have to worry about all of that crap anymore!

Tis true that the pride you get from being sober and more inportantly being remembered by people as a 'nice' guy as opposed to a drunk is worth more than a fleeting chemical buzz can ever give us!!

Good to hear you're doing well.

Thanks man.

FanofJoeMcQ

Smiling here too! Keep it up david.

NewMe11109

David - great post. Yes, it is amazing how the little good things start to happen. At first we think they are by luck, but over time, once eneough of them have happened, we can see the really positive benefits of not drinking.

I'm glad you had a nice time with your son. I'm sure it meant a lot to him.

Dee74

great story David - thank you

D

Believe808

Great story, thanks for posting it.

endzoner

ooh David David David .... how much has changed for you my dear .... and how far youve come from that fallen man who started his jorney sept 8th.. Im very proud to share that day with you my friend . Your post is inspiring tho those who struggle as well as those like myself with some yrs on her back , Its things like this that keep me at my present statis of soberness . Cuz I for one know with each new day something great shines on us . Massive huggles ..
Im glad you had a grea time at the game .. and its even better when your teams wins . and OMG it didnt need to be masked by booze who'da thunk .... again congrats on the great job and keep up the great work .. and keep posting ... your shares are awesome!!
much respect huggles ~ Endzy ~

Steppen51

Hey really liked your post. I'm only on day three but am trying to spend time reading plenty of testimonials and horror stories about everyone's drunken ways to keep me putting one sober day past the nest. A watershed moment for me was last June when my 84 year old alcoholic mother died from an esophageal bleed. My sister found her on the floor in a pool of boozy stinking blood. The Cornorer told me when she died she had a blood alchohol level of 3.0. My wife God bless her has stage four breast cancer, even though she is doing great and in remission I know my after happy hour delerium causes her anxiety and can't be helping her overall well being. Sometimes I do spacey stupid stuff and get her really upset. 5:00pm everyday I'd start on my half a fifth of Seagrams 7, well I usually had another couple bottles stashed in case the 1/2 wasn't enough which was usually the case. Just don't want to be that shakey, smelly, red eyed guy anymore.............I pray I can do this!!!

mirage

Thanks, from a newcomer for that, David. It's really great to hear stories like that, to help remind me to not lose focus.

a fallen man

thanks to everyone for the kind words.

my post was especially for the newcomers. i kid you not my first week was miserable. this board is what helped me make it through the day...and night. since i wasn't sleeping...lol.

i was just like you. i drank approximately 20 ounces of 90 proof vodka every single day. i do not say that with pride. it is just the amount it took to get to pass out level every evening. if i could have done it with 8 ounces i would have gladly as it would have saved a bunch of money.

and weekends were the worst because i used to start drinking as soon as i got home on friday evening until late sunday evening.

but it does get better. looking back today on friday night's events...i was only in that restaurant for maybe one hour. i knew i wasn't going to drink because my son was with me and one of the first people i ran into knows i've quit and asked me how many days it had been.

it still didn't stop him from asking me if i wanted something when he was getting something from the bar....lol. i think he'd like to quit and was asking me a bunch of questions.

i read every day but i need to share more to give back to the community that has literally saved me.

Steppen51

Hey David,
I quit smoking by taking Chantix and hanging out in the quitnet.com forums. It really helps to know there's people just like you with the same weaknesses
having success with a quit. The other issue is I didn't discus this with anyone I just decided it was time. Before it was trying to quit because you're in a jam with a DUI, or your wife has you in marriage conciling. I'm just disgusted with my drunk self and going to try and learn about my sober self. When I read`about tribulations like yours it really helps. Hey espescially around this time of night when i'd normally be half way through a pint of Seagrams lol. I appreciate the other posts as well. My name is Bob.

Steppen51

Went to my first one in decades. Glad I did. It's different when you decide to go on your own. I went because I had so many people from this site insist it's the way to go.