The."I.still.love.you".call
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
The."I.still.love.you".call
...I guess it was bound to happen.
XAH texted me midweek to say "I miss you". I didn't respond.
He calls today to ask to talk to me, sounding very ominous. My immediate thoughts were "oh no, he lost his job and can't pay rent" or "yay, he's decided to leave the city for good!". No such luck though. XAH was calling to find out if there was "anything left to salvage" between him and I. He straight out asked me if I still loved him, and I have to admit I didn't have the heart to utter a loud NO straight off the bat. But when he asked if I wanted to be with him, I did manage to say "no", and I also managed to tell him I was quite sure I didn't want to get back together with him.
To be honest, it was the conversation I was dreading, but once I did start being honest, it got easier. I'd been avoiding it for many years now, but I'm REALLY glad I got it over with today.
As XAH was telling me he "misses me every minute of every day", I couldn't help but sigh and imagine someone on a fishing expedition, trying desperately to get back what he so easily threw away.
Sorry bub, I ain't your cashcow/doormat/possession anymore.
XAH texted me midweek to say "I miss you". I didn't respond.
He calls today to ask to talk to me, sounding very ominous. My immediate thoughts were "oh no, he lost his job and can't pay rent" or "yay, he's decided to leave the city for good!". No such luck though. XAH was calling to find out if there was "anything left to salvage" between him and I. He straight out asked me if I still loved him, and I have to admit I didn't have the heart to utter a loud NO straight off the bat. But when he asked if I wanted to be with him, I did manage to say "no", and I also managed to tell him I was quite sure I didn't want to get back together with him.
To be honest, it was the conversation I was dreading, but once I did start being honest, it got easier. I'd been avoiding it for many years now, but I'm REALLY glad I got it over with today.
As XAH was telling me he "misses me every minute of every day", I couldn't help but sigh and imagine someone on a fishing expedition, trying desperately to get back what he so easily threw away.
Sorry bub, I ain't your cashcow/doormat/possession anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
nodaybut2day!!!! You've taken a step into true honesty. Not only have you admitted how you feel here and to others, but you have finally put your true feelings out there for the one who should have heard it long ago your XAH. He of all people would be the first to criticize and make you question your feelings, but you stood your ground as best you could and slowly but surely built up your confidence until he had no choice but to believe you.
He may call back again with the same line of BS fishing for his little brightly colored minnow, but you are no longer swimming in the same mirky waters. You have move on to the big blue sea free to be you!!
Thank you for posting this uplifting news!
Alice
He may call back again with the same line of BS fishing for his little brightly colored minnow, but you are no longer swimming in the same mirky waters. You have move on to the big blue sea free to be you!!
Thank you for posting this uplifting news!
Alice
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
Thanks. I have for the last month slipped back into my code habits and I was miserable. No contact really is best for me. My XAH is about to have to sell the house we shared. He can' t drive or find a job. We have been divorced for two years.I will go 6 months no contact then I will slip and call or take a call from him. He will try to hook me with guilt or say he can't feed the cat that lives outside at his house. (manipulation)..The nextdoor neighbor watches after the cat. I am slowly letting go. You set a good example for me.I did recently send him an honest kinda mean email about how everything happening to him was his design. I haven't heard from him. I do feel a little guilty. But in the long run maybe it was a God shot.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: California
Posts: 131
There must be something in the air / water. I got the "I love all of you so very much" e-mail yesterday from my xAGF. I did speak with her on the phone today to update her on her kids. She tried to steer the conversation to how much she missed us... but I just shut her down.
She is still deep in her disease. The lies, manipulation and chaos just continues to be part of her life.
It amazes me sometimes how these patterns of behavior play themselves out over and over again in all of our lives. Although the disease is different for everyone, there are themes and patterns that are there almost universallly.
She is still deep in her disease. The lies, manipulation and chaos just continues to be part of her life.
It amazes me sometimes how these patterns of behavior play themselves out over and over again in all of our lives. Although the disease is different for everyone, there are themes and patterns that are there almost universallly.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 93
Noday...if I didn't know any better I'd think we were married to the same {insert name here}. I got the same text on Thursday night..."when can I come home? I still love you". Today is Sunday and he still isn't here...yay!
This was a nice strong post from you...keep it up!
This was a nice strong post from you...keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In the barn
Posts: 324
Originally Posted by TrainWreckAgain 
There must be something in the air / water. I got the "I love all of you so very much" e-mail yesterday from my xAGF. .
I pray for all of us to stand strong.
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