Sherie1968

I am 41 and single. I have never been married and have no children...I guess my drinking was more important. I feel like I missed out on something special, now my time clock has ticked. I went to detox and rehab in May 2009 and I am now 7 months sober. Recently I have been alittle down and depressed. My friend, who is a nurse in a rehab, has been 25 years sober just relapsed and ended up in the hospital. This scares me...she was my inspiration. Whats to say this won't happen to me. I've been thinking about drinking alot lately. I guess this has affected me more than I thought it would.
I have been unemployed since March...which is a god sent, it has given me time to heal without the stress of a job.
Help...I need some words of wisdom.

least

I don't know about wisdom, but I can share my experience. Your friend's relapse just shows that we're all one drink away from alcoholism. Please do'nt let your friend's relapse get you to drink again.

You could use her relapse to keep you sober, cause you know you do'nt want to go 'back there'. If you've been depressed you may need to see a doctor to see if you could benefit from antidepressants. Mine help me a lot but they don't work if I'm drinking.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I'm sure others will be along soon to share their experience strength and hope, and their wisdom.

Welcome to SR! And congrats on your sober time! (((hugs)))

soberinwpg

I've been thinking about drinking alot lately

That scares me.

Are you a member of AA?

Jester1025

Welcome to SR! And congratulations on your 7 months of sobriety! You will find lots of support here to help you through this.

Tazman53

Advice...... do not hang your sobriety on any one, this is not to be mean, but is a simple fact that people can and do relapse after many years sober.

My sobriety is all upon me and no one else, I maintain my spiritual condition as fit as I can every day, letting my HP care for me and guide me. I alone can not stay sober alone, but we can stay sober together helping each other along that path, some stray and drink again, this is no reason for me to drink, it is a reason to strengthen my program of recovery learning from both the successes and failures of others.

BTW congrats on 7 months sober, focus on all of the positive you have gained through sobriety, go look in the mirror, are you beginning to like the person looking back at you, then recall how you felt 8 months ago looking in a mirror.

Focus on the posotive, ask your self "Am I willing to give up all that I have gained for the sake of a drink?

If you have a sponsor call her, go to a meeting, let others in recovery know how you are feeling right now, they will take you by the hand and help you stay the course, pray and know that there is no peace or serenity to be found in a bottle.

Sherie1968

I have not been going to meetings. I went to a couple and did not feel comfortable. I cry continuously and it embarrases me. I also have a hardtime going alone...I know I sound like a baby don't I? I was feeling really good for awhile and now I am down. And I don't know why.

soberinwpg

Aw sweetie, crying at meetings is a part of your healing. I cried and cried and cried for years. Heck I was at a meeting yesterday and teared up.
The reason I asked was b/c there is this fellowship at AA. There are a bunch of people who know exactly how you feel even if you think it's crazy...they get it.
It helped me with my lonliness. I hope you can find the courage to go back. It can fill that "hole in your soul".

(((hug)))

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery communoty.....

Depression is why I started AA recovery.
AA has given me a fantastic new life


Hope you find your answers
Glad to see you are here with us

Zencat

and welcome to SoberRecovery.com Sherie1968.

Getting face to face support for my addiction treatment helps a great deal. I go to a few different groups for that, including AA for fellowship and support. Maybe having a friend or family member go with you could help.

I also utilize SMART Tools as a resource to help maintain my sobriety. Check them out if you wish...just click the link. Also keep posting and reading here a SoberRecovery. It helps me out a bunch.

LuvinMe

Stay strong and be supportive to your friend that helped you.

fenster67

I cried at meetings in the beginning also. Go there, meet some people. They will help you.
I have friends in AA who went out after 20 years and 26 years. Worry about you and do everything you can to help them.

I know this- i LOVE the fellowship of AA. IT is the most powerful thing that i know. THAT IS MY HIGHER POWER. The power of group therapy and fellowship and closeness. The bond of the people i know in AA is something i cannot find anywhere.

vegibean

No, you don't sound like a baby at all. When we get sober we have to look at a lot of stuff that we may not be happy with, but we can change our lives starting NOW!!!

Sherie, don't compare yourself to anyone else, you are YOU!!! This is your life and you can make what you want of it.

I have been through a lot over the last couple of years, so many challenges and as well, so many times I wanted to just lay down and quit.

Today I have more challenges and I feel like I'm at the same place I was two years ago, more challenges and goals and they seem so far off but I know I can do them and my life is going to get even better than it is today.

How I do it? One day at a time because that's all I have.

I'm going to be 40 this upcoming year and I feel ya on the relationship thing. I've been married and divorced twice. You're not missing much.

I have a love interest that is verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry far away HOWEVER if he were here he'd be a total distraction to what I have to do. I have to finish my new set of goals, and then maybe?????

In the meantime I just focus on myself, talk to my sponsor, my friends and CHEER MYSELF!!!!!!!!! I am my biggest cheerleader. On some days I want to kick myself because I really push myself to get up and "keep on keepin' on" as they say. I know I'll be grateful in the end that I've done the work.

You can do this. You have a choice in where you are headed. I wish you the best and hope you find all of the successes in your life that are still within your reach.

And...........Welcome to SR!!! This place is also a great source of support, very grateful for this site and all of the wonderful people here.

thejaywalker

time takes time, BUT IT WILL GET BETTER, and it does get better at least this has been my experience.

I did not get broken overnight, and I did not get well overnight either ( although I thought I should get better overnight ).
I stuck around AA, and discovered a new design for living, that was tailor made for an alcoholic like me

Don't quit before the miracle happens

vegibean

jaywalker is so right on that one. It does take time, hang in there!!

Dee74

Hi Sherie

Welcome to SR - I think the people here are bang on - your recovery is your own...as long as you do the work, and stay committed to being sober, you'll be fine

With 'doing the work' - if I was worried about relapse, then I wouldn't let anything keep me from a meeting, Sherie; if I didn't like meetings, I wouldn't let anything keep me from looking into whatever other means of support was available.

Here's a link to some of the main recovery programmes:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

D

Sugah

1968....what a great year. Great music, social change, and you & me.

I felt uncomfortable in meetings at first, too. I came in at 34, disabled, wheelchair-bound, broken. I stuck around, cried a lot and realized, finally, I was surrounded by family. And like others above, I still shed tears in meetings on occasion and don't feel at all self-conscious about it anymore. Please give it another chance -- give yourself a chance.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Alcohol is cunning, baffling, powerful -- and patient. Although you need to put your sobriety first and you can't fix anyone else, you can be an example.

Sending prayers for you and your friend.



Peace & Love,
Sugah

c49

What helps me out is limiting my thoughts to the moment. I get myself into trouble, depressed and/or anxious, when I allow my thoughts to obsess on things that are past or future or out of my control.

Sure, looking ahead and learning from the past is healthy but not when it brings you down or makes you worry... when that happens you need to switch gears and just look at the things going on around you. Otherwise you do put yourself at risk for a relapse.

Soooo much truth in "one day at a time!" Its comforting to know that I will not relapse today... and that is all that I am accountable for. Stay balanced! and stick around!