utopia

burntout from work....what to do?? i resigned from my job that burnt me out

well i went a bit crazy, yes....i realised certain institutions, people, organisations, religious or otherwise wouldn't support me and rejected me in my newfound state of unemployment, i realised my family were too bankrupt from alcholism to support me in the ongoing legal battle against a man who raped me,,,,that man being my own father. yes, i wanted to die.

i spent a month with no meetings, no ideolgies, nothing but me and spiritual reading an prayer and a lot of crazy thoughts.....i started putting my resume fwd to agencies and employers, i learnt to let go of my dream for myself....i had to say good bye to my private house that i could no longer afford to rent.

i found a part time job at a temp agency...i had to break my lease and my partners friend offered me a room at her place for rent....

that was april 2009....now ive been working part time and living on 1/3 of the money i was used to.......after a month or two of intense pain and anguish of not giving a s**t, i started alanon again but committed myself to at least 3 meetings a week......i found even after 5 and a half of years of alanon i still really hadnt admitted powerlessness.

after about a month of this 3 meetings a week thing rather than 1 or maybe 2...i feel LESS REACTIVE...im finally grasping that resentment blocks joy from coming into my life,,,,after losing my faith im realising this god thing COULD exist and COULD even restore me to sanity! (step 2) and that it COULD possibly even love/CARE for me (step 3........but stil getting the whole step 1 thing about powerless over others thinking/drinking etc.....its now november and i feel a shimmer of care factor about life, about others,,,,tempted to increase my work hours so that i have more money because it is a struggle but i know i need to TELL MYSELF, UTOPIA!! NO, this is your soul recovering afters years of souless corporate work that you hated, this is your self recovering after living with the effects of alcholism and abuse and enduring HUGE CHANGES, the disolution of your family and job, a new home and total change in circle of friends and finding a partner who loves you for who you are.....keep just going to meetings and let the soul recover more and more....

ive realised i lacked the training to get a job somewhere i actually like so ive lined up a short course to get some new job skills and what i hope willbe a new career. im typing up loose ends with the legal process with my estranged father next year but its a long process which i pray will end next year at the latest but ill keep up the alanon...

so i just had to share how i recoverd from the burnout cos i thought id never feel this hope again....i feel like a flower that was crushed in the mud, slowly rising again now the boot has passed me by....i feel breath coming back and feel a small grain of hope that maybe, gently, little by little i may continue to recover and feel compassion for others again, feel real abiding love and passion again for life, living and recover, recover, recover always with the help of alanon. thankyou.

Patk

Hi utopia,

I have crashed and burned from several jobs in my life. As an ex-social worker once told me about her experience with job burn out, "you're always or usually the last person to know..." I could not agree more with what she said.

Patk

Zak

Love yourself first and everyone will follow,good luck in your jouney and stay close to us,remember what you think about you bring about it's the power of positive thinking