Thank you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 54
Thank you!
Hi!
I originally joined this forum this summer cuz I was devestated over the fact that my exabf was suddenly dating a new girl and I couldnt understand why he was choosing to be with her. But I just wanted to say thanks because of all your suggestions WERE 100% right!!
Yes, he did ditch her after 2 months and move on to a new one! And guess what...she's an addict! (But oddly she looks like me and even has the same occupation as me) Hmmm....
Yes, no contact worked! I havent seen him in 14 months, talked to him in 9 months, and I havent texted him since this whole thing started! And guess what...it did get better! I detached myself, and now have accepted the fact that me and my love for him cannot change or control his addiction.
Also, what is weird is that I got my self esteem back!! I no longer want to be treated like dirt from an addict! So even though the whole process was painful, and I know deep down I will always care about my ex, this 6 year saga with my ex is over and I'm moving on!
So thanks for your help!
I originally joined this forum this summer cuz I was devestated over the fact that my exabf was suddenly dating a new girl and I couldnt understand why he was choosing to be with her. But I just wanted to say thanks because of all your suggestions WERE 100% right!!
Yes, he did ditch her after 2 months and move on to a new one! And guess what...she's an addict! (But oddly she looks like me and even has the same occupation as me) Hmmm....
Yes, no contact worked! I havent seen him in 14 months, talked to him in 9 months, and I havent texted him since this whole thing started! And guess what...it did get better! I detached myself, and now have accepted the fact that me and my love for him cannot change or control his addiction.
Also, what is weird is that I got my self esteem back!! I no longer want to be treated like dirt from an addict! So even though the whole process was painful, and I know deep down I will always care about my ex, this 6 year saga with my ex is over and I'm moving on!
So thanks for your help!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Thank you for bringing your message of hope...because you are proof that it takes time, it takes work, but it does work.
I am happy that you are getting on with your life. Once the endings have been put to rest, I just know there are wonderful new beginnings for you...and they have already started when you got your self-esteem back and know how you want to be treated.
Big Hugs
I am happy that you are getting on with your life. Once the endings have been put to rest, I just know there are wonderful new beginnings for you...and they have already started when you got your self-esteem back and know how you want to be treated.
Big Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 54
Thanks for all of your replies!
Yes, you all were so right that it wasn't going to be easy. In July and August I was so upset, sad, angry, and mad that I didnt eat or sleep for weeks. But as time went on, the hurt in my heart lessened. Then 2 weeks ago, I saw my ex in some pictures wasted with his new girl at the bar on a week night. And my first thought was- good luck buddy! I dont want any part of that pain and hurt ever again.
It's still a sad situation...how can a 35 year old choose that life? But hey, I'm not angry or bitter anymore. I hope he's doing what makes him happy.
I'm still not ready to date anyone...but after 6 years of being emotionally and mentally tortured, I am finally beginning to feel pretty again and I now realize that there are plenty of guys out there who will treat me right. And that's a new beginning in itself! So thanks again to all of you..if it wasnt for this forum and all of you taking the time to share your stories this, I probably would have ended up relapsing or drinking again to deal with the pain! But I made it through sober!!!
Yes, you all were so right that it wasn't going to be easy. In July and August I was so upset, sad, angry, and mad that I didnt eat or sleep for weeks. But as time went on, the hurt in my heart lessened. Then 2 weeks ago, I saw my ex in some pictures wasted with his new girl at the bar on a week night. And my first thought was- good luck buddy! I dont want any part of that pain and hurt ever again.
It's still a sad situation...how can a 35 year old choose that life? But hey, I'm not angry or bitter anymore. I hope he's doing what makes him happy.
I'm still not ready to date anyone...but after 6 years of being emotionally and mentally tortured, I am finally beginning to feel pretty again and I now realize that there are plenty of guys out there who will treat me right. And that's a new beginning in itself! So thanks again to all of you..if it wasnt for this forum and all of you taking the time to share your stories this, I probably would have ended up relapsing or drinking again to deal with the pain! But I made it through sober!!!
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