how I got here and thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 27
how I got here and thanks
I've been hanging around here for a while and never really said who I am or why I'm here - if I'm posting in the wrong section, sorry - so here it goes:
I'm a 38 year old married guy, 2 kids ages 4 1/2 and 6. I've been drinking since I was 18. It doesn't help that I am surrounded by drinkers - all family members and extended family, friends, etc. - but I certainly never turned anything down or thought anything was wrong. I just figured blackouts and hangovers were part of having a good time, not realizing that that wasn't part of normal social drinking. This went on for years without question, and my consumption turned in to a nightly thing. Lots of beer - at least a 12 pack a night, more on weekends.
After the kids were born, I slowed down a little - being up every couple of hours with a crying baby is tough, but once they started sleeping through the night I was back where I was before. However, my feelings towards it were starting to change. I guess I was starting to realize that I was responsible for them and a role model (duh) and that if I were in their shoes I wouldn't want my Dad to be a drunk and I didn't want them to think what I was doing was O.K., but it had gone so far I didn't know what to do. I tried stopping a couple of times, the longest lasting about 6 weeks. It was terrible - white knuckle freakout - and I always ended up drinking again. I wanted to stop, I just couldn't. I felt completely lost and hopeless.
Here's where it gets weird. In August of this year, the kids were in bed and I was a few beers in to my evening when I got a splitting headache. I've had migraines before, and this was WAY worse. I took a couple of aspirin, laid down on the couch and eventually fell asleep. IMPORTANT SAFETY NOTE: knowing what I now know, I should have gone to the hospital right there, if anything like this ever happens to anyone reading this PLEASE SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION. Anyway, I had kind of a mild headache and was achy all the next day, thought I had the flu. Went to have my first beer of the night and I couldn't even stand the smell of it. I put it down without taking a sip and that was it. No more booze. I had about 10 days of headaches, sweats, sleeplessness, and a strange feeling of not being able to get comfortable no matter what position I was in, but that went away. The weird thing is that I knew it would, that I was done - all I had to do was tough it out and I was done.
About 5 days in to my detox, I was surfing the internet looking for information about alcohol withdrawal (another duh, probably should have done that on day 1) and I found SR. It felt so good to find a place where there where people who had the same problem, and to see how they were dealing with it. Lots of great information, and very reassuring at a time I needed some reassuring. I learned that there's a difference between "not drinking" and recovering, and that's made all the difference for me.
So that's who I am and where I'm at - happier, healthier, and very grateful to be sober. Thanks for being here.
I'm a 38 year old married guy, 2 kids ages 4 1/2 and 6. I've been drinking since I was 18. It doesn't help that I am surrounded by drinkers - all family members and extended family, friends, etc. - but I certainly never turned anything down or thought anything was wrong. I just figured blackouts and hangovers were part of having a good time, not realizing that that wasn't part of normal social drinking. This went on for years without question, and my consumption turned in to a nightly thing. Lots of beer - at least a 12 pack a night, more on weekends.
After the kids were born, I slowed down a little - being up every couple of hours with a crying baby is tough, but once they started sleeping through the night I was back where I was before. However, my feelings towards it were starting to change. I guess I was starting to realize that I was responsible for them and a role model (duh) and that if I were in their shoes I wouldn't want my Dad to be a drunk and I didn't want them to think what I was doing was O.K., but it had gone so far I didn't know what to do. I tried stopping a couple of times, the longest lasting about 6 weeks. It was terrible - white knuckle freakout - and I always ended up drinking again. I wanted to stop, I just couldn't. I felt completely lost and hopeless.
Here's where it gets weird. In August of this year, the kids were in bed and I was a few beers in to my evening when I got a splitting headache. I've had migraines before, and this was WAY worse. I took a couple of aspirin, laid down on the couch and eventually fell asleep. IMPORTANT SAFETY NOTE: knowing what I now know, I should have gone to the hospital right there, if anything like this ever happens to anyone reading this PLEASE SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION. Anyway, I had kind of a mild headache and was achy all the next day, thought I had the flu. Went to have my first beer of the night and I couldn't even stand the smell of it. I put it down without taking a sip and that was it. No more booze. I had about 10 days of headaches, sweats, sleeplessness, and a strange feeling of not being able to get comfortable no matter what position I was in, but that went away. The weird thing is that I knew it would, that I was done - all I had to do was tough it out and I was done.
About 5 days in to my detox, I was surfing the internet looking for information about alcohol withdrawal (another duh, probably should have done that on day 1) and I found SR. It felt so good to find a place where there where people who had the same problem, and to see how they were dealing with it. Lots of great information, and very reassuring at a time I needed some reassuring. I learned that there's a difference between "not drinking" and recovering, and that's made all the difference for me.
So that's who I am and where I'm at - happier, healthier, and very grateful to be sober. Thanks for being here.
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
Good morning Boom .. and welcome to the family of SR .. your not alone in your share , theres so many here just like you with the same sorta story , Glad you reached out and got help for your addiction . Id tell you to look around and read the shares, but you been peekin in the halls already .. welcome again and were glad your here .. ~huggles Endzy~
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Welcome to SR! I'm glad you joined the family. Congrats on your sober time. I'm glad you didn't have any bad problems going thru detox. You're right that a doctor should be consulted.
Again, welcome!
Again, welcome!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 78
Welcome Boom. Sounds like you and I have similar drinking habits. I too was drinking at least a 12 pack of beer a night and more on the weekends. I am glad that you were able to successfully withdrawal without serious complications. Thank you for sharing your story.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 27
Thanks everyone. Glad to be here.
@keltie - no idea what made me feel that way. Maybe down the road a bit I'll start trying to figure it out, but for now I'm just looking at it like serendipity and I don't want to mess with a good thing.
@jester1025 - yeah, I don't know how it was for you, but for me the thing about it was I was always telling myself "no big deal, it's just a few beers," but like anything else it turned in to more than a few and a very big deal.
@keltie - no idea what made me feel that way. Maybe down the road a bit I'll start trying to figure it out, but for now I'm just looking at it like serendipity and I don't want to mess with a good thing.
@jester1025 - yeah, I don't know how it was for you, but for me the thing about it was I was always telling myself "no big deal, it's just a few beers," but like anything else it turned in to more than a few and a very big deal.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Congratulations Boom and what a gift to yourself and your children you are giving. I grew up around alcohol and drinking and it being common to have a drunken fest for every occasion. I also had blackouts from the get go and didn't think much of it. When that is your norm you know no different. Part of the reason and I say part of the reason I wanted to clean up my act is because I didn't want my son to grow up thinking you have to have alcohol to celebrate everything. You can actually have fun and not drink. What a concept! LOL! He just turned 7 years old and if all goes well and my pledge is consistent every day, he will grow up without alcohol in the house and will enjoy life in much healthier ways. 
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