NeedingHelp7

past history ........At the age of 28, right after my moms funeral, my older half-sister told me and my brother that our dad (her dad) wasn't our biological father. She said my mom was married 4 times. I had only known her to be married once. She said my biological father died of cirosis of the liver. My dad (her dad) died when I was 15 of a heart attack. So I couldn't ask him any questions after this big secret was let out. And now mom is gone.

I asked her more questions this past Sat concerning him. She said my biological father went to prison when mom was pregnant with me for 1 1/2 yrs for not paying child support on other children he had. He wasn't married to my mom, he was married to another woman, and mom was married to another man who abandoned her. When she first told me yrs ago, I thought she said he'd just up and abandoned us. But Sat she told me 'no, he used to come over and play cards (after prison) with his wife, my mom and dad (her dad), until I was 5 or 6 when he died of cirosis. She said mom would get drunk and cry over how much she loved Glenn (my bio dad), she said it would make daddy mad. She said me and my brother never knew the whole time when they would come over and play cards that he was our bio dad. It was all kept secret. Weird huh?????

This does explain why alcoholism was rampant in this family (me and brother, and now my children), but it makes me sad that so many secrets were kept from me. I really hate alcoholism and addiction!! It took every family member away that I ever had, except my young son! It also took me away for a few years until 18 yrs ago. I am sober now 18 yrs, but I really hate
hate hate addiction because of what its done to my family. My family is just me and young son together now. I've never had a complete family. It's all too sad. I feel strange being in this world.

soberinwpg

I found out that the dad I had wasn't my biological dad at the age of 11. It hurts. It caused chaos in my mind. Confusion in my soul. You're line "I feel strange being in this world" stirred something in me.
I'm sorry for your loss. And it is a loss. It's a loss of self, your beliefs, your trust. I don't have any words of wisdom. I just wanted to say ((hug)).

**edited to add**

My biological father is an active alcoholic. I believe it was in my blood right from day one.

teke

my ah found out about who his bio dad was at the age of 21. he even has the same name as the dad he was raised to believe was his dad. i can see how much that effected him and the relationship he had with his mom and even with the other members of his family. they kept him a secret too, they both were married to other people. he even found out he had sisters and brothers, who he wanted to get to know but can't because they know nothing about him. i know sometimes he seems sad feel rejected, he always wanted a sister badly.

its sad and i'm sorry. i know it may feel like you are alone but really you are not. you have us. are you in counseling?

NeedingHelp7

Thankyou (tears)

God seems to show up just in time.....today with a song too.

YouTube - Temporary Home - Carrie Underwood


:ghug2

splendra

Addiction is about lies, secrets, and denial. It is wonder people who are children of addict/alcoholics survive.

What I see here in you is someone who has survived. There must be something really strong in you, something that knows how to hang in there and get to where you are going no matter what.

Something in you knows the truth and has always known the truth. You are a part of humanity and you living through what you have lived through is proof that environment and even genetics can be over come.

Unfortunately your parents did not know how to tell you the truth. It would be hard for me to accept and forgive but, I think I would have to find a way so that I could be at peace.

I am glad that you are here and that you can share. I am glad you have a son and that you are 18 years clean that is something to crow about!

Ann

I'm sorry for your pain, I am sorry for all the pain addiction causes families and children everywhere.

I like what Splendra siad, you survived. And now you can thrive.

We cannot change our past, we are not responsible for the mistakes and lies of our parents, but we can go forward in our own truth, unashamed and unafraid and proud of who we are.

Hugs