Marriage Counseling w RAH but Thru a Different Lens...

Old 12-02-2009, 08:43 PM
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Marriage Counseling w RAH but Thru a Different Lens...

Hey All...

I am going to a new marriage counselor tomorrow with my RAH. Nutshell: he has been sober for 5 years; but is working thru some fairly bad behavior issues. He cannot let go of this whole email exchange I had with his friend. It keeps coming up; he cannot let it go. And, he cannot put it into perspective as to what just might have led up to the wheels starting to fall off of the marriage bus.

We both go to individual counseling and it has helped tremendously. This time, it's different. I have pulled the gloves off-I know more about myself than I did even a year ago and we have been married 7 years. A week ago-I told him I have no problems with him being mad-but leave me out of it. That isn't a healing situation, and I cannot keep trusting his words without the actions. We both know that we have options to walk away or to work on things. I hope that this is real, but I have a wonderful sense of offering it up to my HP. NOW I know I cannot control him his emotions or his decisions about whether he thinks I am the one for him. I can only sit there and be truthful and in a healthy state of mind.

Goes without saying (or perhaps you can feel it oozing out of this post), that I am exhausted. I have a very busy professional life-and have only wanted a partner to share my life with-even the ups and downs. I don't want this life we have led to continue, and at least I know what I want and that's all that really counts. I know I love him. I've told him if not him-no one. Yes, I want a companion, but I want a healthy relationship and there is no bargaining on this one any more.

So...around 11am MT, send some good thoughts toward the Mermaidgirl, won't ya? :mog
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Old 12-02-2009, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by mermaidgirl View Post
A week ago-I told him I have no problems with him being mad-but leave me out of it. That isn't a healing situation, and I cannot keep trusting his words without the actions. We both know that we have options to walk away or to work on things. I hope that this is real, but I have a wonderful sense of offering it up to my HP. NOW I know I cannot control him his emotions or his decisions about whether he thinks I am the one for him. I can only sit there and be truthful and in a healthy state of mind.

I don't want this life we have led to continue, and at least I know what I want and that's all that really counts. I know I love him. I've told him if not him-no one. Yes, I want a companion, but I want a healthy relationship and there is no bargaining on this one any more.
just gorgeous. i love it. thank you!
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